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41 Chicago, IL Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:23pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Doesn’t have kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
word collector. critical thinker. lover of homemade gifts and found treasures. avid reader. sensory explorer. letter writer.
i'm not totally sure if i'm an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert, but i'm okay with that unknowing.
if i like you, you'll know it.
i'm not fond of over-simplifying. the questions on here drive me sort of bananas.
i identify as queer-- queer, femme, & feminist are some facets of my identity that are worth mentioning.
i think words are gifts. i think touch is under-utilized.
i prefer lower-case letters.
nature & being outside are vital to my well-being. i escape the city regularly in order to be surrounded by trees and lakes in abundance.
i think summarizing oneself is impossible and could take the fun out of getting to know one another.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making changes. Finding balance. Living better. Connecting. Living honestly. Being mindful. Feeling centered. Making plans. Writing more. Stressing less.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-list making
-working with/ taking care of/ teaching young children
-spontaneous song-singing
-retaining useless pop culture knowledge
-teaching about sex & sexuality/being sex-positive
-finding the positive/laughing through the muck of life
-saying yes to dessert
-appreciating dry humor & quick wit
-making myself laugh
-having an opinion
-being patient
-being open & honest, and encouraging you to be, too
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People really seem to notice blue eyes.

I'm left of "liberal".

I've been told more than once that I set a high bar regarding being present. *I* think it's a good thing. It's not for everyone, though--I get that. I'm not interested in guessing or wondering in my relationships (friendship included); I love the spark of connection between people when walls come down and there's some vulnerability on both parts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am a lover of words. Stories, true & otherwise, feed me.

Writers: Carol Maso, Sherman Alexie, Miranda July, Amy Bloom, Amy Hempel, Rick Bass, Lynda Barry, Studs Terkel, John Irving, Chaim Potok, Julia Alvarez, A. Mannette Ansay, Michelle Tea. (It's hard for me to stop there.)
Books I love: American Woman in the Chinese Hat; A Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Skin: Talking About Sex, Class & Literature; A Fine Balance; The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon; The Life of Pi, Whores & Other Feminists, Under Milkwood, the Doris zine anthology. Do you have Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed? You really should.
Music crushes: Coutney Barnett, Superhuman Happiness
Music I often return to:
Breathe Owl Breathe, the mynabirds, Avett Brothers, Lykki Li, Tuneyards, Cave Singers, Will Oldham & his many incarnations, Neko Case, Cat Power, Jill Scott, Horse Feathers, Jolie Holland, Thao & the Get Down Stay Down. Tilly & the Wall, Andrew Bird, Alexie Murdoch, The National...
I grew up on and still love Paul Simon, John Prine & Nina Simone. I can sing my way through many a Broadway soundtrack.

Artists: Sally Mann, Nan Goldin, Jenny Holzer, Miranda July--to name a few

Hm, movies and films...The Darjeeling Limited, Lost in Translation (I can watch it over & over--I don't know why, but it calms me), Cinema Paradiso, Pan's Labyrinth, classic 80s movies, The Royal Tenenbaums, Paul Thomas Anderson films and Rear Window come to mind. Diving Bell & the Butterfly. Lars & the Real Girl. I love documentaries. I'm particular about comedies.
Let's leave the rest, shall we? A little mystery is healthy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Water to sink my body into, written words, laughing 'til it hurts, trees, time alone in my head, sun on my skin.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-Projects: writing and art
-Mindfulness, honesty, forgiveness...the light, fun stuff
-Creating balance
-How to navigate the changes I want/need to make
-Delicious eats & treats
-When I'm going to do my laundry
-How I'm with babies & toddlers much of the time, and *really* appreciate time & company that isn't G-rated
-How the things that served me in the past don't necessarily serve me now--change is hard work, but vital.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'll answer what this question is really asking: a night with Netflix or cooking dinner & just relaxing is just fine by me. Who I'm with matters way more to me than where I am.

I'm almost always up for a walk. A short walk or a long walk. With a destination or just to be walking & talking & breathing it all in. Walk with me. I like adventures. And I'm a total voyeur, so people watching totally does it for me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
is not the same as the most private thing I'm willing to share on here.
I'm pretty open.

I will share that I appreciate a heart-on-sleeve sort. Realness is hot.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to hang out/go out--*You should tell me why.*
You're someone who will take their shoes off and go in the water--any water--with me, at any given time.
You've got smarts & a big heart.
You believe in investing time & attention in connecting, knowing, being real.
You're on the masculine spectrum (ftm/trans, butch, cis)
You're interested in queer femmes. Or just me.
*Even if you don't know what all of the above means, but you think we might get along.*