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37 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 7:09am
Black, Native American, White, Other
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
i used to be more of a king kong kinda guy, but am more recently more like three-quarters kraken one-quarter fozzie bear. i'm somewhat elusive, but when the need is greatest i'll rise from the depths and wakka wakka wakka all over the place.

take from that what you will.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
something something jetpacks something something something something rocketships something something sailing the solar winds with gossamer wings of energy a thousand kilometers wide something something.

anyway, there's work. i've been a massage therapist for the past five years, and i love it. nothing like going to work and giving backrubs to old ladies and office drones for cash. it's great; it's like the opposite of beating somebody up. not that i'm into beating people up or anything. cuz i'm not. pinky swear.

there's my fun. which is broken down into cycling, reading, and relaxing. as much as i love riding around in the dark solo, some of my best days have been spent sitting around on the porch all afternoon with friends. i also host a lot of movie nights.

i don't really do much else. i go out for coffee more than for beer, and i'm a minor snob about both. sometimes i yell "check your entitlement!" at my cat.

i've been telling myself to pick up writing again. i used to be good at it...although, i used to be depressed too. i feel my muse fled when my sadness did.

i recently named my bedroom space-station-alpha. don't know why. it just came to me. if it helps, my porch has been named porchugal. i need to make signs indicating such.

i'm debating eventually leaving the country. maybe in a couple years, maybe in ten. for some reason living in a converted shipping container on a beach somewhere sounds like a viable future. i hear chile is nice this time of year.

i'm debating building a vegetable oil powered 4x4 monster van. you know, for road trips and zombies.

i'm also debating buying a catamaran and naming it "broseidon". YOU KNOW THAT'S A DAMN GOOD NAME FOR A SAILBOAT, COME ON!

i don't have any recent pics of my beard. it's longer than represented photographically.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
i kinda rule at metaphors. a while back i overheard someone trying to describe hushpuppies to their friend. how they're made, where the guy might've eaten some, where they come from, etc. they were going at it for a couple of minutes, but the guy just wasn't getting it. i turn to face them and say "they're like redneck falafel. that's it." they both stared at me for abut ten seconds, when the guy's face brightens up and he says "ohhhhhhhh! holy shit. i've had those; they're good!"

i'm also really ridiculously good at talking shit. i'm a sarcastic bastard with a heart of gold. i have references.

also: haikus

fifteen hit combo
finish him! and kabal wins
flawless victory

also: i invented the word "entwhitlement". you know what it means.


...but really tho
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
the steely gaze of my entourage.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: can i tell you how many books i own? i just added more bookcases and i'm all pumped about it. last week's count was 453 fiction and 33 nonfiction. mostly science fiction, but there's a few books without spaceships or magic swords in em. i -did- buy half a dozen books last week that i haven't read yet, so i won't count those. classic faves include atwood, niven, delaney, banks, schroeder, meno, and rushdie. i'm also crushing pretty fucking hard on brian francis slattery right now.

movies: what would jean claude van damme do? have movie nights at my house, that's what. but really tho; i have a pretty sweet theater setup. it's comfy as fuck.

shows: like on tv? i haven't had cable since i was in high school. that being said, i have every episode of sifl and olly on dvd, and a projector. come over.

music: why are there so many good bands that start with s? sonic youth, sigur ros, sisters of mercy, swamp witch, spiritualized, sunny day real estate, sleep, etc. why?! a friend of mine just burned me a grip of new tunes, so i've decided i'm really into beach house, dark castle, electric wizard, and dead meadow.

food: i like all of it. especially if it requires chopsticks and/or comes off a truck. except for ethiopian. i mean, i've eaten it, and it tasted good, but there's no ethiopian food shaped hole in my heart that needs to be filled. also, not to be a dick or anything, but sriracha totally kicks tapitio's ass. i was a chef for ten years. i have some fucking standards.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
friends, music, bicycles, carnitas, sunlight, and my cat.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
is this thing on fire?


knuckle tattoos. i mean, seriously now. you got eight letters and the rest of your life to express yourself: what do you do?

here's a few i've come up with:

want pony
fall hard
snug life
wine rips

sometimes i wish i had an extra finger on my left hand so i could get "heat death" tatted on me. or one less finger so "entropy" would fit correctly.

it'd be nice if someone figures out how those immortal jellyfish work. i kinda wanna stick around for awhile.

and is there a cuddling equivalent of a booty call? can't i just ask someone to come over and snuggle in front of a movie for a couple hours?

man, booty calls be cutting in on my cuddle game.

On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
a good friend of mine recently said "going out on weekends is for amateurs; pros only go out during the week."

aaaaaand considering we were sitting on my porch at 2am saturday morning, i'm gonna have to agree with her.

so yeah. sitting on my porch. sometimes there's bonfires.

except for when there's bike rides. that happens sometimes too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"you still got that hole in yer hand?"

i'm leaning in through his kitchen window. watching him cook. a cutting board separates him from the window- from me. it's been awhile since i've been here. it's been awhile since i've needed him.

"all you're gonna do is suck it all in until you get sick. you know that."

i try being an adult. i try looking him in the eyes, but i can't.

"you need to close that shit up. let it heal a little. find somewhere else for the world to go."

his hands blur out of synch with his words. out of synch with everything. he goes through a stalk of celery in the blink of an eye. three cloves of garlic, gone.

"the world is gonna be the world no matter where you put it. it's not doing you any good trapped up in there."

my eyes lose focus for a minute. his hands seem to lose speed. tapping against the cutting board with no discernable rhythm. half an onion and a carrot appear as i regain my vision..

"you aren't going to follow my advice. not yet. you never do."

the knife sweeps the small pile of vegetables into a sizzling pan held just below the counter. everything is set over a low flame on the stovetop.

"you'll figure it out someday, kiddo. i got faith in you. i just hope the journey isn't any more difficult than it needs to be."

i stare, speechless, just like i used to, as his knife begins a new dance over a head of lettuce. tapping the board in quick, short bursts.

"now if you don't mind, i'm trying to cook here."

i step back.
the window is shut.
the blinds drop down.
and i go home.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
if maybe you're cool with just being friends for awhile? friendship is my number one motivation. being poly doesn't mean i'm easy. i can snuggle with damn near anyone, but i can't sleep with someone unless i really really like them. besides, i seriously don't have enough frisbee partners during the week.

if you're halfway decent. if you're poly-minded, if someone has told you you're awesome in the past week. if your first instinct is to laugh when your friends fall down; especially if you'd laugh along were it you that fell instead. if you've ever thought there should be a chronicles of riddick-inspired remake of point break.

or if you want to be in my bicycle gang. we can ride around with one hand and swing chains around in the other. once we get really good at it we can replace the chains with rotors and be a helicopter gang.