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44 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:51pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Italian (Poorly), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update: since I can work remotely -- anywhere with internet, and I can get near-broadband through my phone, anywhere with a strong phone signal -- I've decided to fulfill a lifelong dream and "go nomadic." I'm going to bundle myself and my two rescue dogs into my Subaru Outback and go explore this great nation (and possibly the southern portion of the continent although that depends upon internet signal and personal safety). So we'd need to be VERY casual or you'd need to own a bigger car or be willing to live in the back of a small crossover SUV with two VERY physically affectionate dogs and one fairly physically affectionate man for possibly weeks or months at a time. Yeah... didn't think you'd find that appealing. But hey, we can still be buds and -- if you're willing -- have fun snuggletimes, right?

On the positive side, to all the fascinating women who've contacted me but sadly live on the other side of this great nation... the answer is no longer an unqualified "no."

Yeah, stuff changes rather rapidly around Casa De Tom. Check out my self-indulgent blog for more tips and tricks on taming and befriending a wild Tom. Thus ends our Public Service Announcement. Back to the words from our sponsors!

So, I had a huge, novel-length profile here, but I decided to wipe it out because, you know, shit's changed.

Here's the thing; right now, I'm *relatively* happily single. Why, you ask, am I still on OkCupid? Well, sex. Sex and friends. But I'm not really *looking* very hard.

I am not really going to write a novel here. I'm dreadfully intelligent (IQ 173), somewhere between humble and casually arrogant, dominant in the bedroom but respectful and gentle elsewhere (well, actually that in the bedroom too, but I'm just saying I'm not an arrogant ass when the situation doesn't call for it).

I'm gainfully employed as a computer programmer. I work from home and hang out by the fire writing code with my two puppies. I'm not rich, but I'm comfortable. My job is just a job, but I have a slew of hobbies which it seems nobody but me is interested in (I mean, come on, who else welds, sews, writes EDM, plays computer games, and constantly kvetches that they should exercise more?)

Incidentally, since I was asked: I'm politically liberal, but I don't particularly identify as a Democrat (I consider both parties bought and paid for public mouthpieces of Big Money, although they differ on which interests they support -- the GOP supports oil, Big Ag, and health insurance/Big Pharma; the Democrats support tech, Wall Street, and also -- paradoxically -- Big Pharma). I love our country (America is an amazing, beautiful country -- almost like seven or ten different countries all mashed together, really) but I'm not some jingoist "patriot" who's never even heard of the Federalist Papers. Certainly not to the exclusion of the rest of the world (I mean, have you SEEN Canada? For all our natural wonders, Banff takes the cake -- suck it, Yosemite) -- our political system is just a shambles compared to, say, the Netherlands. So where's the box to check "none of the above, but that doesn't mean I'm not tuned in?"
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Starting a Tibetan scream-singing group.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

I find that I'm good at almost anything I try, except dancing. That still needs work.

Oh, and to quote the Big Lebowski, apparently I'm not "into that whole brevity thing."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes people notice the large African parrot I keep on my left shoulder. It's a sort of talking, pooping fashion statement. Oh, I should mention, he's invisible. But very noticeable. I'm sure people notice him; they're always staring...

I have lovely warm brown eyes and a beautiful smile -- or so I'm told. I'm very solidly built, with broad shoulders and a thick chest. My usual expression is a wry half-smile. You decide.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm picky about food, but trying to change that. With my previous weight loss surgery (a smashing success, mind you), my food choices can be limited, so with a picky palate, that can be constricting. But I am expanding my horizons at a rapid pace. If the only thing we have in common is a desire to expand our palates (or even just my palate), that works, too!

I like most music, and especially live music. I LOVE EDM -- I produce it. I used to say that I liked every kind of music except country and hip-hop. Well... I can't say that anymore. I went through both Tin Pan Alley and yodeling phases. I am eclectic. And sometimes electric.

Movies and books -- I like things that challenge me, but I tend to gravitate towards fluff a lot of the time. I love to think, but that shit's exhausting!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) tech (I'm a tech geek, what can I say?)
2) music
3) love, sex, and friendship (that all counts as one, right?)
4) laughter
5) music
6) lifelong learning
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think about strange things. I think about politics and science and sociology and color theory and music theory and sex and linguistics and the origins of religious mythology. I think about how insects move, how microecosystems evolve, and how to solve the embodiment problem in artificial intelligence. I think about the problems with our broken political system, why people never change their minds, and how to best surf the currents of popular culture. I think about strange things.

Of course, sometimes I'm just captivated by a passing cloud or the play of light and color on a building. I'm weird that way...

And, of course, I'm a guy, so... sex. A lot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Typical... snort
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I had weight loss surgery. I've never been in a fist fight. I've been arrested. I once talked a woman into an orgasm. I licked a car once when I was in my 20's; it tasted like dirty. And metal. I think rainbows are pretty, but I don't like ponies.

Not much about me is private, to be honest.

But okay, okay, I lied. I like ponies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
... you're okay with a non-monogamous relationship. I don't care if you are monogamous, but I'm not. Call me poly, call it an "open relationship" or "friends with benefits"... call it whatever you need to call it, but I'm not monogamous. That doesn't mean I don't get attached and fall in love and dream of a life together, but it's never been a dream of just one person. If that's a deal-breaker, we probably won't work.

I don't do drugs or drink *at all* (I tend to break out in handcuffs when I drink, and I've never found anything else that I much like), so if you can only interact fully while intoxicated, it might not be a good match. I really don't care if you partake, I don't even care if you partake around ME, but if your only idea of a good time is "getting wasted" or you can't be around me sober, it's not a good fit.

Physical attraction matters. I'm sorry to have to say that, but there's apparently a meme that physical attraction shouldn't matter, that we're just floating brains and all that matters is that we read the same books and play the same games. Don't get me wrong, that matters -- a lot -- but if the lust ain't there, we're not going to be anything more than pals. Which is fine, and all, but just... set expectations accordingly ;)

Honestly, I'm fairly happy with my life right now. I wouldn't mind what's euphemistically called a friend with benefits; not that I couldn't handle something "more," but I just don't want the drama. I'd like someone who's sympatico to chat with, snuggle with by the fire, and do fun sexytimes with.