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44 Seattle, WA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Nov 24
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Italian (Poorly), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Don't date me. Really, just don't do it. I'm a bounder, and a cad. I'll most likely just try to sleep with you -- all the while warning you that I'm just going to use you for your body (so that you think my warnings are all bark, and no bite; I bite). Truly, I'm the man your mother warned you about. I won't "put a ring on it," I prefer drinking the milk to buying the cow, and every other sexist, misogynistic stereotype you can think of. I'm just a horrible, horrible, unevolved male.

Instead of settling down to a boring, predictable tedium where we are comfortable farting in front of each other and the only tension is the discussion over which of the two restaurants we go to ALL the time we're going to go to tonight (oh, and is it Friday? Sex night? AGAIN!?) I'll simply subject you sexual delirium, gales of laughter, and deep thought. So -- don't date me.

Got that out of the way? Great!

Howdy! I'm Tom :) I'm a handsome, devastatingly intelligent, funny, charming, witty, dominant and above all humble male of indeterminate age, armed with an adorable 11 month old brindle chiweenie puppy, Pepper. We're a package deal.

I'm not really looking for my "forever love." I'm ready if I find her, but right now I'm in an "exploring the world" phase. I'm an insanely fun date, and an astounding, memorable, bestial and world-class lover. More importantly, I'm a wonderful friend. But... probably don't fall in love with me or loan me too much money.

So, I just have to include "the brag" (cf this): I'm crazier than a bag of weasels on a hot stove! I'm a better lover than Don Juan on Cialis! I'm better looking than Brad Pitt with a boob lift! I leap tall girlfriends in a single bound, and I'm faster than a speeding sloth! I exaggerate, tell tall tales, and prevaricate like a rug when it's in jest and for fun and makes a good story.

Except about sloths. I will never, ever, ever deceive you, or embellish the truth when it comes to our sloth overlords. Some things are just too sacred to play games with.

Honestly, if you can read past this arrogance and braggadocio, I have been called one of the strongest, most resilient people a friend had ever known, and another friend called me one of the kindest, most loving people she'd ever met (and she was, and IS, still the sweetest person I know, so that is an honor.) I like to brag and strut and pretend to be all that, but the honest truth, underneath it all, is that I'm a pretty decent, quality human being.

I'm not particularly sporty. You'll notice I don't have zillions of pictures of me on top of Mount Everest or kayaking in a frozen lake while fighting polar bears. That's because, for the most part, I don't do that stuff (and, I LIKE polar bears. And, they'd win; I mean, have you seen polar bears? Some of them are upwards of 14 feet tall...) I'm a computer geek. I like intellectual, thought-stimulating activities. I own this proudly, in a city full of flannel-clad wilderness buffs.

I do want to find a hiking buddy, though. THAT, I like. Even though it may not be rappelling down an ice cliff while battling walruses, I think hiking is pretty keen.

And I think I should probably take up running. I hear it's therapeutic. But you'll pardon me if I keep my running mostly of the treadmill variety, unless I'm being chased (except if I'm being chased by you, in which case I might intentionally run slow...)

And, well, I want to get back into weight lifting. I like challenging my body that way, and it's a great way to fight the ravages of advanced age...

I'm a burner. Yes, one of those. No, I'm not a druggy -- I don't even really care for pot (done my fair share, just don't like feeling sluggish and stupid). I don't judge you if you do, as long as you're capable of being sober for at least long enough for us to carry on a conversation. No, I'm a burner because I like art, beauty, the desert, dancing (badly), and weird people.

I have a wicked, keen sense of humor. I have been known to make people laugh until they have to pee, on a regular basis. I do this mostly due to my exquisite sense of timing, and of the absurd.

I also like sex. A lot. Enough said.

Aside: For all my bragging about my communication skills, I've noticed that when I'm online I have a particular knack for sticking my foot in my mouth in a fairly epic way. Bear with me -- give me at least two strikes before you decide that I'm Buffalo Bill and will make a skin suit out of you; I'm probably just trying to be "witty," and it's falling flat. It happens. If nothing else, my misadventures in trying to flirt have given me some pretty funny stories...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Starting a Tibetan scream-singing group.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

I find that I'm good at almost anything I try, except dancing. That still needs work.

Oh, and to quote the Big Lebowski, apparently I'm not "into that whole brevity thing."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes people notice the large African parrot I keep on my left shoulder. It's a sort of talking, pooping fashion statement. Oh, I should mention, he's invisible. But very noticeable. I'm sure people notice him; they're always staring...

I have lovely warm brown eyes and a beautiful smile -- or so I'm told. I'm very solidly built, with broad shoulders and a thick chest. My usual expression is a wry half-smile. You decide.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm picky about food, but trying to change that. With my previous weight loss surgery (a smashing success, mind you), my food choices can be limited, so with a picky palate, that can be constricting. But I am expanding my horizons at a rapid pace. If the only thing we have in common is a desire to expand our palates (or even just my palate), that works, too!

I like most music, and especially live music. I LOVE EDM -- I produce it. I used to say that I liked every kind of music except country and hip-hop. Well... I can't say that anymore. I went through both Tin Pan Alley and yodeling phases. I am eclectic. And sometimes electric.

Movies and books -- I like things that challenge me, but I tend to gravitate towards fluff a lot of the time. I love to think, but that shit's exhausting!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) tech (I'm a tech geek, what can I say?)
2) music
3) love, sex, and friendship (that all counts as one, right?)
4) laughter
5) music
6) lifelong learning
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think about strange things. I think about politics and science and sociology and color theory and music theory and sex and linguistics and the origins of religious mythology. I think about how insects move, how microecosystems evolve, and how to solve the embodiment problem in artificial intelligence. I think about the problems with our broken political system, why people never change their minds, and how to best surf the currents of popular culture. I think about strange things.

Of course, sometimes I'm just captivated by a passing cloud or the play of light and color on a building. I'm weird that way...

And, of course, I'm a guy, so... sex. A lot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Typical... snort
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I had weight loss surgery. I've never been in a fist fight. I've been arrested twice. I once talked a woman into an orgasm. I licked a car once when I was in my 20's; it tasted like dirty. And metal. I think rainbows are pretty, but I don't like ponies.

Not much about me is private, to be honest.

But okay, okay, I lied. I like ponies.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...if you seek the company of a clever, charming, sexy, and oh-so-humble male for outings, smooching, and witty repartee.

...if you have beautiful eyes and a lovely face. I'm an absolute sucker for a pretty face, I'll admit it. ;)

...if you think you're cleverer than me and want to prove it. I mean, you're not, but sparring is fun, too! And I love the flabbergasted expression on the faces of geniuses when they realize that I'm simply out of their league intellectually :D

...if you think I'm hawt (bonus if you spell it that way) and want to do naughty things to me (hey, I'm a supergenius, but I'm also a male...)

...if your name ends in a "q" or an "x" or a "7."

...if you're bored and want to chat. I will attempt to seduce you -- that's a given -- but out of respect, I'll wait until the third date.

...if you can discern in which parts of this profile my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek.

...if you're interested in exploring Dd/Lg or dom/power play with me.

...if you're confident in who you are and ready to be dating. I really shouldn't have to put this here, but there it is -- if we're gonna be anything more than friends, I need you to be relatively happy with who you are as a person, not constantly wracked with doubt and insecurity. That is NOT sexy.

...if you don't really care.

...if you can make me laugh, have an "organism" (favorite spelling for "orgasm" yet!), or think. If you can do all of the above, call me. Now.