The Fans and Brett were in love. A committed relationship, with good and bad years. But times changed, and Brett decided that the best years were past, and he didn’t want to hurt the Fans. They split, but remained great friends. They would both say great things about each other to friends and coworkers, even though they were apart. And time passed.

Then Brett found that he was missing something. Suddenly he was out with someone else. The Fans were infuriated! “But he said we were the best! We were the one and only!” But Brett found New Fans. The Fans cried and burned stuff Brett left behind.

The New Fans lived a few states away, and after a year Brett discovered that it wasn’t right. He broke it off. Many of the Fans still hated him for finding the New Fans so quickly, and were now happy that the rebound relationship was over. Maybe now the Fans could still be friends with Brett.

But then there was the Fans Across the Street. Brett and the Fans didn’t like the Fans Across the Street while they were together. But somehow, maybe after a drunken night at the bar, maybe through a friend, Brett and the Fans Across the Street met and started a relationship.

The Fans were furious! Betrayed! AGAIN! What a fucking SLUT Brett was. He’s with that Bitch! The Fans burned anything left from Brett. They complained to anyone who would listen. The Fans Across the Street made a big deal that Brett was with them. At one point the Fans contemplated drinking way too much Old Style and driving their truck off a bridge into the river.

One day the Fans happened to be in the neighborhood where Brett and the Fans Across the Street lived and they bumped into each other at the Home Depot. Brett and the Fans Across the Street were buying new kitchen cabinets. And the ones they were buying were the same ones that the Fans wanted when Brett was with them… but back then Brett thought that they were ugly. He is such a FUCKWAD! “You are so pussywhipped!” the Fans yelled at them, and the stormed out of the store, drove to the Dairy Queen, and ate a large Snickers Blizzard in the car while crying. All of the People in the Store laughed after the Fans stormed out.

Today Brett and the Fans Across the Street made a trip to see some old friends in the old neighborhood. The Fans found out via Facebook Status Updates, and planned to be at the party Brett was attending. The Fans were not happy when Brett showed up with the Fans Across the Street, but Brett didn’t care. He and the Fans Across the Street had fun, they danced closely, and really showed that they belonged together. The Fans got really drunk and down on themselves, thinking that the world sucked and everything was falling apart.

Some friends of the Fans saw that they were getting too drunk and pulled them aside. An old friend, Amahn, who had just moved back to the ‘hood, told the Fans to shape up and stop acting like a fool.

“It’s over. He’s gone. Don’t be like this! You got Aaron- and he’s a great guy! The more you act like a fucktard the more other people hate you! You gotta go back in there, dance with Aaron, and show Brett that you are over him!” The Fans suddenly understood, jumped off the couch on the porch, puked into the bushes, and ran back inside…

I don't mind them, but that's two days in a row being out after midnight. Will we see the trifecta Thursday night after midnight? And if we go to Fort, that makes the double trifecta: three calls after midnight each day, transporting to each of the three local hospitals...

There's a new hire at the office. We share many of the same attitudes and ideas behind firefighting and EMS. The kind of person that, after an hour of conversation, you want to work with.

Tonight she saw me with the station copy of Mike Perry's "Population 485", a great look into small town life and volunteer fire and ems.

"Hey, have you read that before?" she says.

"Yeah, many times. It's a great book." I reply, preparing for a great discussion of the book.

"I didn't like it al all. Very boring."

My brain went into vapor lock. Very boring? Wha? My roommate, the theatre lighting and technician guy, who knows nothing about fire and ems past the stories I tell, enjoyed it. The book is more than just the "look at me I save lives" hero book. It weaves tales of the town, the land, and the department. Neighbors helping neighbors. Saluting the past while forging into the future.

I didn't say anything. Luckily someone else started jaw-yappin' and the conversation went elsewhere. I've never marked someone down for not liking a book before, but this is the first. Think of it as a verbal warning in a personnel file. Add to that the previous warning for not liking Emergency! or Rescue Me, and now were into the suspension stage.

Bad: A call for knee pain 7 days post op at 1am

Good: Transporting to the ER that has a fountain soda machine, oreo cookies, and white cheddar popcorn.

OC ER FTW!