After a few months here, and a few contacts with women (none of
which so far has yielded as much as a face to face meeting, though
a couple of plans fell through and somehow never got reinstated) I
have been rethinking my approach a little. I am not certain that
this site is likely to find me a suitable mate, but the experience
has forced me to think thorough just what it is I am looking for.
The difficulty I am having is in defining my needs/desires in a way
that does not fill a whole book!
When I try to imagine myself in a relationship, and talk to other seekers, I realize that my life is quite different from what it was when I was previously in the dating/seeking pool. Normally when one contemplates being in a relationship, the automatic picture is of two people blending their lives. This would mean becoming part of each others' circle of friends, and participating in one anothers' activities. The difficulty arises when I look at my life and habits; it is honestly difficult to imagine finding room in my life for all of that. I have friends that I spend time with that I have known mostly for decades, and with whom I have deep and rewarding relationships, and I spend a lot of time at musical and art-related events. I have a two-hour radio show once a week talking about the state of the world, and I like to spend quite a bit of time alone, all of which leaves me wondering how I could also incorporate time spent participating in someone else's life too. Geography plays into this too: it is hard to see how it would work unless we are both very local.
I am not trying to raise problems here, just looking realistically at what seems possible.
The main issue I see is that I have been developing over a period of 25 years or so a philosophy of life that is out of the mainstream. I believe that we are in a period of history similar to the Industrial Revolution right now, and that everything about the way we live will change (is changing), and I am consciously trying to come up with a new way to be in the world that is appropriate to the future rather than the past. I believe that this involves a return to a more community-oriented life, and I am now seeking out people that feel the way I do, with the aim of either joining or starting an intentional community. Given the time I have spent thinking about this, it is unlikely that I will be easily deflected from this path, so any mate I find will probably be someone who is already thinking along these lines herself, or is looking for real purpose and meaning in her life without necessarily knowing what that might look like.
So I guess I am not normal "date" material! I am looking for someone who either already shares my world view or who feels directionless and is open to trying something new. If that resonates with you, I would love to hear from you.
I have a very active sense of humor, and pretty much always see the funny side of things. I get on with people who do not take themselves too seriously. I am a person of my word, and integrity is important to me.
I am a generalist. I know enough about a very wide range of different subjects to be able to tell fairly accurately when someone I am listening to knows what s/he is talking about. I am passionately interested in socio-political subjects; I could be fairly described as way left of center, though I find such labels constricting. I am a romantic and an optimist.
Even after some fairly serious setbacks I still believe in the fundamental goodness of people. I am generous to a fault. I have never prioritized the making of money, and everything I have ever done (bookstore-coffeehouse, antique stained glass, desktop publishing in the very early days, computer programming and several other things) has been because I was passionately drawn to it. I have a wide and varied circle of friends, many of whom do not know each other. I feel at home in almost any circumstances and social situations. I was married twice, 12 and 16 years, divorced and widowed. I love and respect women, and I miss having someone to snuggle with.
When I try to imagine myself in a relationship, and talk to other seekers, I realize that my life is quite different from what it was when I was previously in the dating/seeking pool. Normally when one contemplates being in a relationship, the automatic picture is of two people blending their lives. This would mean becoming part of each others' circle of friends, and participating in one anothers' activities. The difficulty arises when I look at my life and habits; it is honestly difficult to imagine finding room in my life for all of that. I have friends that I spend time with that I have known mostly for decades, and with whom I have deep and rewarding relationships, and I spend a lot of time at musical and art-related events. I have a two-hour radio show once a week talking about the state of the world, and I like to spend quite a bit of time alone, all of which leaves me wondering how I could also incorporate time spent participating in someone else's life too. Geography plays into this too: it is hard to see how it would work unless we are both very local.
I am not trying to raise problems here, just looking realistically at what seems possible.
The main issue I see is that I have been developing over a period of 25 years or so a philosophy of life that is out of the mainstream. I believe that we are in a period of history similar to the Industrial Revolution right now, and that everything about the way we live will change (is changing), and I am consciously trying to come up with a new way to be in the world that is appropriate to the future rather than the past. I believe that this involves a return to a more community-oriented life, and I am now seeking out people that feel the way I do, with the aim of either joining or starting an intentional community. Given the time I have spent thinking about this, it is unlikely that I will be easily deflected from this path, so any mate I find will probably be someone who is already thinking along these lines herself, or is looking for real purpose and meaning in her life without necessarily knowing what that might look like.
So I guess I am not normal "date" material! I am looking for someone who either already shares my world view or who feels directionless and is open to trying something new. If that resonates with you, I would love to hear from you.
I have a very active sense of humor, and pretty much always see the funny side of things. I get on with people who do not take themselves too seriously. I am a person of my word, and integrity is important to me.
I am a generalist. I know enough about a very wide range of different subjects to be able to tell fairly accurately when someone I am listening to knows what s/he is talking about. I am passionately interested in socio-political subjects; I could be fairly described as way left of center, though I find such labels constricting. I am a romantic and an optimist.
Even after some fairly serious setbacks I still believe in the fundamental goodness of people. I am generous to a fault. I have never prioritized the making of money, and everything I have ever done (bookstore-coffeehouse, antique stained glass, desktop publishing in the very early days, computer programming and several other things) has been because I was passionately drawn to it. I have a wide and varied circle of friends, many of whom do not know each other. I feel at home in almost any circumstances and social situations. I was married twice, 12 and 16 years, divorced and widowed. I love and respect women, and I miss having someone to snuggle with.
