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25 Houston, TX Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 21–45
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Hispanic / Latin
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Third-rate female comedian with a burrito fetish seeking loud-mouth male video game enthusiast with a penchant for drinking whiskey. Must love dogs, cats, long walks on beaches, internet-speak in normal conversation, drunk karaoke nights, and long awkward silences.

I don't take myself too seriously, and you shouldn't either.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work a typical 9-5 job at an insurance company on the north side of town. I moved to Greenspoint to avoid the hell that was sitting in 2+ hours of daily traffic. So now I spend those glorious extra hours each day either sleeping in longer or sketching/painting portraits.

On weeknights, I spend a lot of time at open-mics, checking out the local comedic talent. I also occasionally partake in karaoke during the week to test out my latest experiment (can someone REALLY do Don't Stop Believing and What's Your Fantasy in the same night? YOU BET YOUR ASS THEY CAN).

Weekends, I spend the days exploring the city of Houston. If you need someone to show you around, I know the best dive-bars, venues, cheeseburger stands, people-watching areas, etc, I am your girl.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Cooking things from scratch. I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen, and I know my way around a mandolin slicer/cheese grater/immersion blender.
- Articulating the nuances of wines.
- Arguing about how great FFX was in its own right.
- Driving long distances with no complaint.
- Singing "Deep in the Heart of Texas."
- Cuddling with puppies and kitties.
- Surviving on 4 hours of sleep a day.
- Talking your ear off about art.
- Slowly fucking my car up and not knowing how to fix it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Kind of weird looking. Messy hair. Strange glasses. Also, completely silent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Lots and lots of sci-fi.

Movies: 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Shining, Ghost World, Rosemary's Baby, Hellraiser 1-3, the Alien trilogy, Contact, American Beauty, Magnolia, Happiness, Stargate, Wet Hot American Summer, the Exorcist, the Graduate, and TONS more.

Television: King of the Hill, It's Always Sunny, Portlandia, Orange is the New Black, Futurama, Sex and the City, South Park, Twin Peaks, Arrested Development, Parks and Rec, Adventure Time, Regular Show, the IT Crowd, Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis, Star Trek: TNG, and TONS more.

Music: Cake, the B-52's, Donna Summers, Tina Turner, Radiohead, Eagles of Death Metal, the Flaming Lips, Beck, Anamanaguchi, Die Antwoord, Grimes, Yo La Tengo, Aphex Twin, Marvin Gaye, the Temptations, Melvins, Dusty Springfield, Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats, the Sword, Graveyard, Black Sabbath, Witch, Witchcraft, Kimbra, Frank Zappa, Rob Zombie, Yes, the Ventures and TONS more.

Food: Just give me all the food please.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Chipotle. Seriously, I could eat there everyday and die a happy girl.
2. My two cats. Since I live alone, they are my only source of daily socialization.
3. Yoga pants. I don't know how I lived nearly 25 years without investing in these things, they are the SHIT.
4. Cheese in all forms. This doesn't need justification.
5. Music. I fucking love music.
6. Nature. Best place to zone out and get some real perspective on the direction your life is going.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- Stargazing.
- Why does every man on this website love Doctor Who and quantum physics?
- Puppy breath.
- Karaoke song ideas.
- My next meal.
- Puppies in general.
- The most disgusting concoction I can create using the ingredients from the work vending machine (so far, Dorito/Honeybun sandwiches take the cake),
- House of Pies.
- The radical approach Hideo Kojima took with MGS2.
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Asleep in bed because fuck work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
- I can eat about 5 pounds of cheese fries in one sitting.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You enjoy getting drunk and watching Netflix.
- You like cider.
- You are the living embodiment of Charlie Kelly.
- You have a dog that I can play with.
- You enjoy rubbing your face on cats (I have two who love it when humans rub their face on them).
- You like going to the movies and making jokes and talking a lot a' la MST3K.
- You hate sports.
- You are willing to buy me 5 pounds of cheese fries.