French guy stuck in the US poking stuff with sticks and showing the universe who's the boss .

saving the world 1 body of water at a time, while working 14 hour days as an environmental consultant

making free time, fixing the unfixable, deciphering interpretive dances, prancing around like i own the world.

this past month i've been told i look like: ryan gosling, doctor who, john Lennon from the yoko days, adrien brody, christian bale and a few others. I don't see it.
maybe it's time for a career change... professional look alike?

books: do SOP's, methods and EPA regulations count?
movies: my life is an adventure movie so watch me go
music: makes me do the hustle or even the skadoucher.
food: makes me poop... everyone poops!

brain, heart, club sandwich, blood, liver, your mom... in no particular order... actually your mom first, then the club sandwich I use to pump blood through my veins.

What I should order at McDonalds; why I feel a draft between my ears when I shake my head, why I still haven't gotten a tattoo of flames coming out of my butt, and what the most inappropriate thing to do at any given moment is.

Up to no good reenacting thriller on the streets of Atlanta. corrupting the youth of the world while dressed as batman. And on Good Friday nights I hand out XXXL "I beat anorexia" t-shirts, as well as "hello my name is anorexia" name tags, oh yeah, that's right be offended... there's a bad joke in there somewhere, can you sniff it out?

I wear socks in my flippy floppys and break cellphones almost weekly!
I can also sound smart even if I have no clue what i'm talking about. (At least in my head it sounds smart)
I want magnetic implants in my finger tips so i can find my microwave when the lights are out in my kitchen.
my cat is a homicidal maniac.

You have about 10 fingers and approximately 10 toes;
Or
you must meet one of the following options:
Option 1:
Must have, spork collection containing a minimum of 50 sporks from different locations; a broken light bulb collection autographed by an electrician; a broom closet big enough to fit 12 nuns comfortably.

Option 2:
Must be able to hot wire a car with your toes while brushing your teeth; (I will need proof in pictures). Be able to walk on water without falling in (Ice doesn't count) and have won an award for the ugliest Xmas sweater in July.

if none of the above work, then give me a good reason to message back.