WHAT TO EXPECT FROM ME: I'm a white (as in, yet another boring Euro-mutt) 5' 10" 150lbs very healthy, drug free/disease free (got the tests to prove it)/drama free/kid free/wife free/girlfriend free male. Brown eyes, brown hair, with a closely shaved crotch. I do NOT shave my chest or leg hair, I find that unmanly and douchebaggy. However, it is extremely fine hair, and I always get compliments on how soft and un-prickly it is. I'm slim ,but not a skinny anorexic wimp by any means. I know some girls on the higher end of the height/weight spectrum don't like "skinny" guys since they have sharp hip bones. Well I have been told I"m quite comfortable in that regard as well. Work schedule permitting, I do currently work out, but nothing extreme. I don't much care for the body builder look, just being healthy (I'm not a health freak either though). I've been called overall handsome more than a few times, and I've been told I have a great butt for a guy. In my own eyes though, I'm think I'm pretty average. I have a hard time forcing a smile for the camera without looking goofy, and I'm always told I look much better in person face-wise, and don't expect any Ryan Gosling look-alike-ness from me. If you're super picky with faces, and if you're cute you probably will be, don't set your expectations high. For reference, I've been told I have a minor resemblance to Edward Snowden,as In I remind people of him. Regardless, I'm only hiding my face for privacy reasons. I am also responsible, respectable, clean, orderly, cultured, well educated, and a gentleman. I am discreet. I have a place to myself (with an amazing memory foam bed waiting for you), my own late model car, and a steady non-dead-end and very respectable job. Let it be clear though: I'm not a man-whore, nor do I aspire to be one like most guys. I'm a quality-trumps-quantity type of guy. Not a picky bastard either, read on.
WHY YOU SHOULD FUCK ME: I've come across a lot of girls that keep whining about guys that last a couple of minutes in bed at most and are very frustrated, so if you're fed up with that look no further. Some of those frustrated types have fucked me, and get blown away, they can't believe how long I lasted. How do i do it? Well if you call within the next 5 minutes you'll get a FREE info kit.... no no no just kidding..... I'll cut to the chase... I guess you could say I have the opposite of premature ejaculation. Why? In short, a botched circumcision. No worries, my dick is not mangled nor looks like something out of a freak show. Girls can't tell unless I actually point it out. Basically I had too much foreskin cut off, so I have very low sensitivity. That's all there is to it. How long do I last before busting a nut? Well I'll tell you my non-stop record: 5 hours and 30 minutes. Yes, I actually did take the time as I keep trying to break my record. And I'm counting this time as ONLY the time I was actually pounding my girls pussy, there were no breaks, no interruptions whatsoever (aside from very quick position changes). Add to that the time we were making out (close to an hour) and well you get the idea. When all was said and done, by the time we started making out to when we were fully done it was close to 7 hours. She had well over a dozen orgasms, or so she claimed. And by the time I came I gave her a huge dripping creampie like non other. My absolute longest record ever in a single fuck session was 18 hours, however, there were obviously a few breaks in there. I have never cum in less than 45 minutes, but dammit she was trying her best. On any average day I usually go around at LEAST 2hr of just pussy pounding + time for making out/miscellaneous fooling around. I REALLY like making out and foreplay, so add another hour or so to that. Some girls wonder how the hell the girls I fuck stay wet during all that time. Well sweety, don't you worry, it's not rocket science: For one, I know damn well how to keep a girl wet. And two: It's not like your pussy will magically dry up and chafe up like a fish taken out of water after a certain amount of time, just like your mouth wont dry up if you eat tons of bread (or whatever spongy food you prefer to indulge in). As for my cock, it's a modest 6". Nothing to brag about, but as you can see I'm very much a quality-trumps-quantity type of guy. Heck, I can wear Magnums just fine (Magnums, FYI, are a marketing scam geared for insecure guys, they're only 15% bigger than regular condoms, as for me, I special order the world's thinnest condoms, and they're freaking awesome and better than any of the bullshit big retail store brands) In fact, several girls have told me I'm the perfect size for them, without me even asking. I'm also frequently told I ave a great sensuous touch and give great massages.
DISCLAIMERS: This should be really obvious, but just so I'm REALLY FUCKING CLEAR since many people nowadays seem to have some weird sense of entitlement (I'm looking squarely at you, Generation Y ಠ_ಠ ), Don't expect me to break any endurance records on the first try with you, or the second, maybe even the third. But do expect more than average either way. I need to get used to your physique first. Also, I may need to catch my breath more often than I used to, lately my job has been really getting in the way of working out. I have an extremely demanding job (at times life threatening [yes, its legal, chill out]) and a life outside the bedroom so that may affect my performance sometimes (duh). Like with anything sexual, the more we get to fuck each other, and the more we get to know each other in bed, the better it gets. Even if you can't keep up with me, that's perfectly fine with me as long as you get into it and show honest effort. Also, the first time we meet, it will have to be someplace public. This is for my safety: I need to make sure you actually have a vagina (no, you don't have to get naked in public for me, well, unless you insist), that you are indeed the person on the pictures, and I need the peace of mind that if you decide to slice my body open and extract my organs for illegal organ trading (skip the eyeballs, I'm near sighted), at least I'll have witnesses around. Within 5 minutes I can tell damn well if a girl is psycho or not (learned the hard way), therefore, the getting-acquainted-with-each-other-process need not be long. I do understand though this may be an incredibly awkward thing for you to do and you're probably going to be nervous as shit jumping into bed with a complete stranger that you just met online (yes I get somewhat nervous too but mostly just at the prospect of whether you'll butcher me or not). So I'm perfectly fine with some "social lubrication" in the form of a walk in the park, quick lunch, etc whatever makes you/me comfortable. Then we can both proceed to fucking each other promptly, my place, or yours.
HOW I FUCK: Awesomely. Need I say more? Actually yes I do: Let's say I'm flexible. I tend to take charge, however I love it when a girl takes charge as well, nothing give me a raging boner like a girl that tosses me around in bed and fucks me silly. I've managed to make at least 4 girls squirt for the first time (my sensuous touch, you know...) Also, I like to think I "make love", as corny as it sounds. I do very much enjoy cuddling, kissing and having long make out sessions. However, I can go the other way too, and just rip your clothes of and fuck your brains out the moment I see you. It all depends on who I'm with and what our mood is at the time. With my former fuckbuddy I did everything from take her out on a nice dinner then bring her home and gave her a nice long sensual fuck, or in other occasions I would pretend to simulate breaking into her place and fucking her harder than a deranged rapist would (minus the trip to the ER). Let's just say her bed, or what was left of it, did not appreciate it as much as she did. I also have an awesome 4 point bed restraint system if you're into that. And if you're not, trust me, you will be. I'm trying to get more involved in the life as well, for those of you who are fetlifers out there, and I'm primarily a dom.
WHAT I'M NOT: If you're looking for a dude with a horse sized cock and Ryan Gosling's facial attributes, then look elsewhere. Those types only exist on fake ass pornos, anyways, in case you haven't figured it out already. Also, I'm opposed to anything that could send me to the hospital/jail.
WHAT IM LOOKING FOR: A -->FEMALE<-- (Emphasis on females since a couple of old dudes have sent me pics and I am now scarred for life) NSA fuckbuddy. And fun. That's it. Sex is fun. That's the only reason anybody fucks for right? Oh yeah, and babies occasionally, but that's definitely NOT what I'm here for. Anyways, I'm not picky, and while by some miracle I did manage to get my virginity stolen by a model, I know there's no way in hell that's happening ever again, not in many lifetimes, so I don't expect you to be from victoria's secret by any means. Heck, I almost rather you not be a model, they're too damned high maintenance.
I need to emphasize, since a a few girls just cant wrap the concept of common courtesy and honor around their heads (I'm looking especially at you, post 90s girls), that I'm shooting for a FWB type relationship (if it flourishes to more, then sure why not). HOWEVER, if all you want is a one night stand, for fucks sake, LET ME KNOW BEFOREHAND. It's fucking aggravating to get fake promises of ongoing sex (and I read right through it immediately so don't even try to bullshit me, I've heard all the excuses, I'm not a fucking idiot). If we meet, fuck, and decide we're not compatible after all, AND YOU LET ME KNOW, then that's perfectly fine, we go our own separate ways, I wont beg, moan, bitch, or cry, you'll never hear from me again. If all you want is a one night stand, AND YOU LET ME KNOW BEFORE MEETING, that's perfectly fine too, we have some fun, I give you the fuck of your life, and we part ways. Seriously ladies, it's not that complicated. I'm not a clingy bastard that won't take no for an answer unlike most other guys. Just be upfront with me, tell it like it is, and don't beat around the bush. Capiche?
I do have some standards... So please, no STDs, no drama, preferably be single (don't want a jealous husband/boyfriend/lover shooting my ass, this is Texas after all) but I'll gladly deal with taken ladies on a case by case basis. As for body type, not too picky, I do not mind *moderately* chubby and have a strong preference for proper hourglass/curvy girls. However, if you're much thicker than that, especially around your gut, no thanks. I'm not exactly husky myself, don't like feeling like I'm getting crushed. So if you're very far north of 200ishlbs that *might* be a deal breaker (unless you're like 6'11" or something ridiculous like that) As long as you're reasonably height and weight proportional, that's fine by me. Major turn ons: I tend to like latin girls, asians, and nerdy/innocent-looking-girl-next-door type of girls. I'm very big into big assess/hips and thick thighs. If you have an hour glass figure, damn, I'm all yours. Skinny petite girls are very much ok too, and everything else in between. Preferred Age? I don't give a damn, as long as you're legal and don't need an oxygen tank to stay alive. However, if you're far over 40, you best be in great shape, I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wrinkly brown paper bag. On the other hand, If you're one of those 20 year olds that could easily pass for a 14 year old, don't be offended because I will expect you to produce an ID for my peace of mind. Like I said, I'm not picky, but if you fit any of the previous descriptions, prepare yourself for the fuck of your life.
Also ladies, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR SNATCH! There's no way in fucking hell you can expect me to go down on you, or even fuck you, if I can smell your snatch from several feet away the moment you take of your pants off (yes I've come across a girl like this, not even kidding, I promptly told her to re-install their pants and proceed to the nearest exit). I don't give a shit if you provide me with a hazmat suit. So here's the deal: If I can shower and scrub my dick daily so it's all nice, fresh, odorless for you, then so can you do the same with your vajayjay. Moderately hairy snatches are ok, as long as the forest is free of vermin, moss and poisonous mushrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK?: Yeah, this turned out too fucking long and pretty ridiculous. Oh well. At least now you know I'm fucking legit. I'm willing to host, or willing to travel mostly anywhere within the greater DFW metroplex.
Thanks for reading this ridiculous post. Looking forward to fucking you, ridiculously well.