My main goal in life is to enjoy it.

I'm a pretty honest person. I value intelligence, loyalty, and wit. Then again, I also value cheese products, cheap crime dramas, and alcohol. Judge me as you will.

I am an oddball regarding religion. In the five years since abandoning my native Catholicism, I have been atheist, Zen Buddhist, Gnostic, atheist again, and agnostic. Other religions I find interesting but do not believe in include Islam, Zoroastrianism, and Mayan & Aztec beliefs. From every religion and every philosophy I study, I take something new and add it to myself. They mold me and how I see the world, and despite the fact I don't believe in any of their gods I still owe a lot of my development to them. If you are overly serious about any religion (even atheism) then we probably won't get along.

I'm currently attending the University of Maryland, where I am a geography major. Once I graduate, I expect to be showered with riches, job offers, and a large mansion. This is what my academic advisors have told me, and I believe them.

I have no idea what I want to do with that when I graduate, but hopefully I'll figure something out. I hear barrels and refrigerator boxes are in vogue again.

Making people laugh, especially in person.

Intellectual discussions. I try to maintain a broad spectrum of knowledge... or you could consider it a vast pit of useless trivia. Either way, I love discussion, on virtually any topic.

I'm good at eating, breathing, and sleeping. I attribute my survival thus far in life to my skills in these areas. Unfortunately, I can't think of much else I'm terribly good at.

I have a (short) beard and a ponytail, which is generally an odd combination for anyone who is not an aging hippie. However, most people say, "I usually hate that look, but it works for you." That's all that matters, I guess.

People also notice that I am sarcastic and have no respect for social mores. And I like to keep it that way.

1) I love anything by Joseph Conrad or Hermann Hesse. I also like H.P. Lovecraft. Heart of Darkness is my favorite book. If you don't recognize the title, then you probably read it in high school and hated it. I'm also somewhat interested in philosophy -- everything from Nietzsche to Rousseau to Zhuangzi to Jung. Nothing too academic, I just love to challenge my mind.

2) Lawrence of Arabia, Akira, Jet Li's Hero, Blade Runner, The Matrix, Children of Men, Shoot 'Em Up, No Country for Old Men, Anchorman, I Heart Huckabees, Brazil, The Motorcycle Diaries, Hot Fuzz, Airplane!, Pan's Labyrinth... and others. I have eclectic taste in movies. No horror, though.

3) I've always loved classic rock: The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Velvet Underground, as well as prog rock like Genesis. Muse, Queens of the Stone Age, Stone Temple Pilots, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Collective Soul are some more recent favorites.

4) Mexican, especially anything slathered in mole sauce. Irish and German food always resonates with me, maybe because of my heritage. I see a lot of people on here raving over Thai and Indian food -- haven't had a chance to try it, but I'm open to new ideas. Wanna take me to your favorite place?

5. There's no TV category, but I will mention that I adore House and Mythbusters, and basically anything else on History/Science/Discovery channels.

1. My friends. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have have been through hell with me and I know they are loyal to me and I to them. They're terrific people and I know I wouldn't last a week without them.
2. Beer. I've recently discovered the world of beer beyond Bud Light, and it's lovely. I usually go for a nice European beer when I can, since it's delicious and not that expensive. Weihenstephaner is my favorite... but I swear I'm not a beer snob. Not yet at least.
3. Sarcasm. I always use sarcasm. Always. Except when I don't.
4. Music.
5. My car.
6. Culture.

Why Pepto-Bismol has competitors. If it really cures nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea then it should have eliminated its competition by now. If it doesn't work then it should have gone under. Right?

Why drug commercials say, "Tell your doctor if you have any preexisting conditions, such as advanced HIV disease." Shouldn't he know? More importantly, how would I know if he doesn't?

Converting oxygen to carbon dioxide, absorbing nutrients from food, and bored as hell.

I've started learning 4 different languages other than English in my life, yet I'm fluent in none of them.

I have seasonal depression and am generally less sarcastic in the summertime.

I love SimCity 4 more than most of the people I've known in my life. Not only is it fun, but it's also very cathartic for me somehow... even when I'm not destroying cities with meteors or robots.

When I'm out late, sometimes I try to steal street signs, but I've never had any success with it. Damned things.

Anything else you want to know, you'll just have to ask me. I'm not a very private person, but I can't just dredge up inane facts for an online profile at will.

If someone has kidnapped your loved ones and told you to message me, or else you'll never see them again.

Or, if you want to. That works too.