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30 F Milwaukee, WI

My Details

Last Online
Nov 16, 2011
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Atheism, and very serious about it
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Okay), Sanskrit (Poorly), Latin (Poorly), LISP (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Sarcastic, well-mannered, theoretically funny, rather radically liberal. My automatic reaction to everything is to joke, which can get me into trouble when people don't appreciate my often inappropriate sense of humor. This extends to a knee-jerk urge to make smartass comments about everything.

I can be an elitist when it comes to certain things, especially books and music. If you read or listen to authors and artists whom I consider to be crap, I'm willing to consider that you might not be a complete moron, but the chances are pretty slim. That being said, there's nothing wrong with fluff, as long as it's tempered with the good stuff, if you know what I mean.

I am probably smarter, better looking, and taller than you. I also have more interesting taste in music, am considered a close personal friend by more people, make more money, and get laid more often. I am more modest than you can possibly comprehend. I enjoy ridiculous amounts of obvious hyperbole.

As of October 2011, I'm mostly offline again. Sorry to all the messages that were just left hanging--I got my ass kicked by some antibiotic-resistant strep, and then life got complicated. If you message me, please don't be surprised (or take it personally) if you don't hear back.

Details details:
Smokes: I quit smoking a few years ago, but I will still have about one cigarette every few months, which promptly reminds me why I quit.
Drinks: "Often" means "I truly enjoy beer and wine, so I'll often have a glass when I get home from work." This does not mean "I like going out to bars and getting shitfaced all the time."
Drugs: There's no good middle ground between "Often" and "Never" here. WTB a drop-down option that embodies "I've smoked pot a handful of times and have nothing against it but haven't used any in years."
Body Type: Answering objectively, I'd probably say "Average," but this is the U.S., where (let's face it) "average" means "overweight," which I'm not.
What I’m doing with my life
After graduating with an Honors BA in English Literature with a minor in Computer Science, I tried working as a web proofer for a major department store. When that crashed and burned because 75% of my coworkers, including my boss, were incompetent backbirths, I did the whole "holy shit I'm unemployed" thing for a few months. And then! Out of nowhere! The most fabulous job in the world! Which is what I've been doing for the past several years now. I work in an office downtown as a hat rack (i.e., I wear a lot of them), and I live around where East Town transitions into the East Side.

While I finally own a TV, I only use it for watching DVDs or things streamed from the internets (including a couple of currently running series). The time that would be spent watching TV is often spent playing World of Warcraft and other games. I used to tank as a hardcore endgame raider, but I'm taking a bit of a break now; I've been catching up on PC games like Portal 2, the Mass Effect series, and Batman: Arkham Asylum. I read more than most, but not as much as I'd like; I tend to be in the middle of at least a dozen books at any given time.

You may remember me from such films as:
I used to be a moderator at the website for the popular webseries Red vs Blue, and I'm still a writer for the humor Q&A site Ministry of Misanthropy. I've also been active at the SDMB and Giraffe Board, and I just started editing for a friend's gaming news and review site. Back in college, I did some fansubbing, so if you downloaded an anime series in the early 2000s and eponymous is credited as an editor, that's probably me. And speaking of actual films, you can see me die in Feeding Frenzy.
I’m really good at
Talking quickly, editing things, language in general, searching for information, washing dishes, spitting, minimizing injuries while falling down stairs, coming up for plausible explanations for things, cooking with the random assortment of bizarre produce that was delivered this week, fitting more objects into a space than should logically fill it
The first things people usually notice about me
My height, the speed with which I speak, how undeniably awesome I am, my unspeakable humility
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
These lists should by no means be considered extensive, all-encompassing, or even remotely up to date. I love to consume media in a variety of forms. And yes, I am going to judge you based on your own tastes. Isn't this fun?

(a) Douglas Adams, Iain M. Banks, Kate Beaton, Albert Camus, Michael Chabon, Geoffrey Chaucer, Douglas Coupland, Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis, Neil Gaiman, Spalding Gray, Christopher Hastings, Seamus Heaney, Robert Heinlein, Nick Hornby, John Irving, Kazuo Ishiguro, James Joyce, Richard Kadrey, Franz Kafka, Milan Kundera, Adam Levin, Alan Moore, Haruki Murakami, Ryan North, Flannery O'Connor, Kenzaburo Oe, Daniel Orozco, Chuck Palahniuk, Terry Pratchett, Tom Robbins, Philip Roth, Salman Rushdie, Carl Sagan, Neal Stephenson, Hunter S. Thompson, Brian K Vaughan, Kurt Vonnegut, Nathanael West, Banana Yoshimoto

(b) Amelie, American Movie, Annie Hall, Arsenic and Old Lace, Batman, Batman Begins, Being John Malkovitch, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Blade Runner, Blazing Saddles, Brand Upon the Brain!, Cache, Casablanca, Cecil B. Demented, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, A Clockwork Orange, Cool Hand Luke, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Dancer in the Dark, The Dark Crystal, The Dark Knight, Das Boot, Dawn of the Dead, Death to Smoochy, Dhoom 2, Die Hard, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Dune, Edward Scissorhands, Enter Laughing, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, An Everlasting Piece, The Exorcist, Feeding Frenzy, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fight Club, Flash Gordon (1980), The 400 Blows, Ghostbusters 1 & 2, The Goonies, La Grande Vadrouille, The Great Escape, Gummo, The Happiness of the Katakuris, Harold and Maude, Heathers, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hero, Hot Fuzz, House of Sand and Fog, I've Loved You So Long, Idiocracy, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, Kids, Kill Bill Vols. 1-2, Labyrinth, Lawrence of Arabia, Let the Right One In, Life as a House, The Lion in Winter, Lola Rennt, Lost in Translation, The Magnificent Seven, Memento, Metropolis, Moon, Monster in a Box, Mulholland Dr., My Winnipeg, A Nightmare on Elm Street, No Country for Old Men, Now, Voyager, Omkara, Orgazmo, Oscar, Pi, Pitch Black, The Princess Bride, Pulp Fiction, Ran, Rejected (anything Don Hertzfeldt), Requiem for a Dream, Rosemary's Baby, The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, The Saddest Music in the World, A Serious Man, Serenity, Seven Samurai, Shall We Dance (Japanese version), Shaun of the Dead, The Stepford Wives (1975), Swimming to Cambodia, Synecdoche, New York, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, Throne of Blood, Trainspotting, True Stories, 12 Monkeys, The Usual Suspects, When Harry Met Sally, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, Young Frankenstein, Zombieland

(c) Archer, Arrested Development, Babylon 5, Battlestar Galactica, Black Books, Brass Eye, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Castle, Cosmos, Coupling (the British version), Deadwood, Dollhouse, Farscape, Firefly, Glee, Half in the Bag, Heroes, House, M.D., Invader Zim, Iron Chef, Look Around You, The LXD, Mythbusters, On the Air, Sherlock, Six Feet Under, Space: Above and Beyond, Sports Night, Star Trek: Next Generation, Twin Peaks, The West Wing, Yacht Rock

(d) 54 Nude Honeys, Afghan Whigs, Against All Authority, The Anniversary, The Arcade Fire, Archers of Loaf, Astronautalis, The Avalanches, Bad Religion, Bikini Kill, Andrew Bird, The Bismarck, Björk, Bloc Party, Bloodsport, Buffalo Daughter, Cibo Matto, Dead Kennedys, Die Kreuzen, Dirty Three, Dresden Dolls, Food For Animals, Peter Gabriel, Girl Talk, The Go! Team, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Gram Rabbit, Cee Lo Green, Hardstomper 69, IfIHadAHiFi, The Jesus Lizard, King's Horses, The Kleptones, KOMPRESSOR, The Magnetic Fields, The Maybenauts, Medicine, Memory Map, Metric, MF DOOM, Modest Mouse, Hudson Mohawke, Mount Vicious, The Mountain Goats, My Bloody Valentine, The New Pornographers, Nice Marbles, The Notwist, Owner/Operator, Police Teeth, Poster Children, Django Reinhardt, Arthur Russell, ShakkaZombie, Sleater-Kinney, Sparks, Sufjan Stevens, Subhumans, The Thermals, Toenut, Trocadero, Trophy Wives, Victory and Associates, Viva La Foxx, Tom Waits, Waxeater, Kanye West, white, wrench, conservatory, Wolf Parade, Yo La Tengo

(e) Vegetarian for coming up on 10 years this time around (the "dislikes factory farming" kind, not the "meat is murder" kind), before my semester abroad in Japan in 2004 I became vegequarian (added seafood) to make things easier for myself (not many Japanese are vegetarian). I love good food and good restaurants: some of my Milwaukee favorites include Alem, Bombay Sweets, Cempazuchi, Chez Jacques, Comet, Crazy Water, EE-Sane, El Salvador, Honeypie, Izumi's, La Merenda, Le Reve, and Roots. I'm an okay cook/baker and I've been experimenting a lot recently, especially since I started getting weekly deliveries from a farm share/community supported agriculture program. (Recent adventures include a couple different types of bread, bagels, ramp compound butter, and a Spanish tortilla--an egg dish kind of like an omelet, which is not to be confused with a Mexican tortilla.) The few things I will not eat: peanut butter, crustaceans, raisins, your average sweet/sour type stuff.
The six things I could never do without
(1) Pants (2) Friends (3) Books (4) Wine or beer (5) Troponin-tropomyosin complex (6) The Internets (Serious Business)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The nature of humor, ultimate causes, the implications of the existence of god in a Judeo-Christian sense (horrible), what the hell I can make for dinner with the random assortment of bizarre produce that was delivered this week, what I just walked into the room to get but now can't seem to recall, where I left my [expensive electronic device I've misplaced this time around], language, what consequences existentialism has on my general mental health
On a typical Friday night I am
At a friend's place, or my own with someone over, or out watching a friend's band play, unless everyone's out of town or working or studying or I'm just too lazy, in which case I'm probably doing something online, reading, or cooking. Possibly standing on my balcony and blasting Peter Gabriel while I look at the city. So, basically, "any and all of the above."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sometimes wish I were fat, just so I could say in this profile that "I maintain a very consistent panda-bear shape."

I think I'm going to leave a tab open to this permanently:
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if