If you are a person who is racist, homophobic, or both, please just go ahead and block me - it is not going to work.
* writing puzzles for my fortnightly Dungeons and Dragons game. Werebeholder? There Beholder!
* Droll wit, puns, and double entendres. I can usually keep a straight face and oh-so reasonable intonation just long enough to put forth some modest proposal.
* Faces (pulling). I use my powers for the greater good by confusing squalling infants. Silly noises and dances also feature in my repertoire.
* I am not, however, proficient in Faces (recognizing). The great actor switcheroo in Plan 9 from Outer Space goes unnoticed every time. When I was TAing I memorized the students' names by group and relied on the 'look vaguely in the right direction' technique to pretend to basic social skills. If you notice that I have visited your profile six times without ever saying anything, this may be the reason; alternatively, I may find you fascinating and you should message me to suggest that I stop tweaking drafts and just press "send" already.
* My idiosyncratic approach to language. Like most people, I think significantly more quickly than I talk or type. I sometimes lose my place in the conversation, omitting six or seven key steps necessary for actual communication. To counteract this tendency, I pun unrepentantly, choose phrases that bring me enjoyment to speak, and rearrange clauses in logical but nonstandard ways. It has been known to happen that my compensatory word play may at times carry a cost in complexity and concision, but never in ambiguity.
* Most anything by: Iain M. Banks, China Miéville, Margaret Atwood, Neal Stephenson, Charles Stross, Octavia Butler, Michael Swanwick, or their ilk. Worm. Science fiction / fantasy, with an emphasis on coherent world-building - it is much easier to hold my interest with fascinating ideas and wooden characters than t'other way 'round. For non-fiction, I generally go for popular science or popular history. I would not find it overly forward should you desire to lend me Guns, Germs, and Steel on a first date.
* Tasty Indian (gauchely eaten with chopsticks when I get take out), freshly baked bread (kneaded yeast bread, blueberry-banana bread, planetquakes, buttermilk biscuits, whatever else I feel like cooking), feta cheese (parentheses added for consistency). Based on my friends this is out of character, but I do not particularly favor sushi. I am a proud bivegetarian: most of my calories I prepare myself, and when I cook it is usually vegetarian.
* Decent speculative fiction (science fiction proper, or just something properly poking into a premise) and/or incessant prettiness (Julia Stiles, 'splosions, Neverwhere, Miyazaki, that sort of thing). Up for romance. Immortel (ad vitam) and NightWatch are good for when I am in the mood for otherReal, or for straight up comedy I like 10 things I hate about you or Arsenic and Old Lace.
* Whatever Songza or SomaFM feel like playing for me.
* I enjoy dancing to goth/industrial/EDM and their several subgenres.
* Norman Borlaug, Stanislav Petrov, Asa Martin
* Tactophilic clothing - why should anything serve only one purpose?
* Wikipedia - the free online encyclopedia that allows me to correct grammar and errors in reasoning. One of these days I hope to be more widely read and successful than my pseudonym.
* Coffee - much like the spice, its users can bend space and time, but it does funny things to their eyes.
* The serial comma. Sure, the situations where it will actually impact meaning tend to be somewhat pathologically convoluted and potentially should be reworded for the sake of clarity, but in principle it is better. Undue complexity is often grammar's way of telling you that it is time to add another abstraction layer.
* The ever shifting and blurring line between human-readable and machine-readable. I expect that everyone should be able to read basic TeX and HTML in this day and age, and an image of text is just silly.
How to justify to myself the purchase of more silk.
Imagining the emperor naked.
Is baklava poisoning a real thing, or did I just make that up to keep myself from eating the entire batch in one sitting?
I can perform the Vulcan salute with the toes of my left foot.
I have a time travel password.
I just finished that book you recommend in your profile, and I loved it.