In a relationship with Elena47. Sorry ladies, I'm off the market now!

To put it very simply: geek + Jackass = Me.

Even though I'm more the brooding intellectual type, I enjoy almost everybody, so whether you're into dick jokes or Fermi problems, I can dig it. The important thing is that I'm always looking for a laugh, even if it means I'm the butt of the joke. My shamelessness only adds to this, and the list of things I'm comfortable doing for the sake of comedy is almost infinite.

I live on my own... with a bonus three roommates! I figured if splitting the rent two ways saves money, why not go for four? In spite of having a house jam-packed with people, I've somehow wound up with a whole floor to myself. So, if I invite you to see my basement, don't freak out: that's where I keep all the cool shit.

I tend toward the philosophy "If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing." If I'm writing a blog post or doing a research paper, I'm probably not eating or doing anything else until it's done. If I'm in the mood to watch cats on YouTube, then I'm'a watch every fucking cat jump into every fucking box that site has.

I try to enjoy art, but I feel like I'm missing that part of my brain. I get that creative human expression is important... but when I see The Scream I don't think or feel anything other than "There's a dude. He's screaming." Maybe you can show me the error of my ways?

"Philadelphian," for me, is as fundamental to my identity as "geek" or "heterosexual." I don't want a house with vinyl siding and a perfectly-manicured lawn surrounded by a white picket fence in a cul-de-sac: I actually prefer to interact with other human beings.

I'm on here because I'm looking to expand beyond the sausage fest that is my group of friends. There's nothing like shooting the shit with your buddies, but I need a dose of estrogen in my life or I'm going to start thinking Fast and Furious is quality cinema. On a related note: bonus points if you can hang with a bunch of foul-mouthed, flannel-wearing, beard-loving dudes.

Learning. Always learning. You don't need to have your nose in a book, though. Having fun is also fun.

Specifically: Managing a shoe store, blogging about video games, politics, etc., and trying to get into a career that is actually rewarding

I've also recently embraced a "Why not?" philosophy for living. When a friend invited me on a road trip that sounded all kinds of awful, I saved up money and went. A bad experience is still an experience, so I'm up for just about anything.

Self-education, which is all anyone needs to be good at since it enables everything else.

Editing or improving things. If you have an idea, I can make it work.

Anything computerized, but not to the point where I'm trying to make a sexy lady robot. Pneumatic grip is a serious deterrent - ouch!

Being brutally honest. I call people on their B.S. and expect others to do the same to me. A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine diluted.

Staying awake. I've been an insomniac since I was very little, so I've become some sort of cathemeral freak. In a good month, there will only be two or three occasions where I end up being awake over 30 hours without a nap.

That I'm not a total stud, but once you get past the physical junk...

I'm told I'm tough to nail down. Specifically, that it's weird that I'm so laid-back when my iPod is filled with power chords and avant-garde. Others find it strange that I'll go from analyzing confirmation bias to pouring rum into my eye for a laugh. Is it so strange to be intelligent AND fun-lovingly stupid?

Before I list a bunch of stuff here, I want to point out that this doesn't matter. I'm not going to hate you for liking wrestling, though I reserve the right to poke fun at it.

For books, there's The Dune series (canon and expanded), Lord of the Rings, 1984, Blink, Traffic, and a long list of more non-fiction. I can hardly find time to read since I traded mass transit for a car. If you like any books, then it scores big points with me. Remember kids: reading is fundamental!

For movies, you've got your obvious geek staples like The Matrix, Star Wars, Back to the Future, and The Fifth Element (it's so cheesy but good), but also V for Vendetta, the Rocky series, Irreversible, and anything with Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Rifftrax over top of it. I've never been a big movie buff, but aside from musicals and horror movies, it shouldn't take much convincing to get me to sit through one.

For shows, I've got a million. House MD, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, The Office, Dexter, Penn & Teller's Bullshit!, Louie, NewsRadio, Deadliest Catch, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and of course anything on Discovery, The Science Channel, NatGeo, etc.

For music, it's anything with Buckethead, Les Claypool, or Mike Patton; Guns N' Roses; Ke$ha; Metallica; Franz Ferdinand; Rush; System of a Down\Serj Tankian; Vanessa Carlton; Velvet Revolver; The Darkness; and "Weird Al" Yankovic to list a few.

For food, I enjoy anything I don't have to cook. I'm such an awful chef that I consider making pasta an accomplishment. When every pizza store in the area recognizes your number, you know you have a problem. Also, fuck yeah sushi.

And for the big one - video games - the list could go on for miles. Basically, I like retro and indie games the most, especially any game that involves planning and strategic thinking. The big three for me are the Metal Gear Solid franchise, Braid, and Portal.

1. An incomplete to-do list. I'd feel like I'm doing nothing with my life if I didn't have some clearly delineated short and long-term goals
2. The Internet. We grew up together, and we are the best of friends.
3. Honesty. I feel awful for days if I tell a lie. I don't really care if you're a genius or an idiot, a bitchy loner or a party animal; as long as you're honest about who you are, you're fucking awesome.
4. People that I can teach, lead, or help in some way. Maybe I have a need to be needed?
5. A cat in my lap. I definitely have a need to be kneaded.
6. Pepsi. Water is boring, coffee is terrible, and tea is a sometimes drink.

Whether or not it's not turtles all the way down. I'm an apatheist, and the closest I come to having a spiritual experience is when I take an extremely hot bath or jump into a subzero waterfall. I'm not interested in buying whatever Savior you're selling, and I've never been a big Kool-Aid fan.

Stationary. There are so many different types of pens out there, HOW TO CHOOSE?!

Which guys I'd go gay for. So far, it's Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, David Mitchell, Mike Rowe, Gordon Ramsay, Sean "Day[9]" Plott, Slash, and Buckethead.

Whether there will be an end to my quest to find an appropriately-fitting sport coat in a thrift store. Come on hipsters, Salvation Army is for us poor folk. Spend your parents' money elsewhere!

Taboos: Why they exist, why they shouldn't, and how I'll shatter another.

Maybe I'm drinking Yuengling and collecting money from friends so that we can request an uninterrupted 14-play block of "Don't Stop Believing" from the bar jukebox. As it turns out, the software is designed to block repeats for a certain time frame :(

Or maybe I'm playing Scrabble and watching some obscure movie with friends. There's not always alcohol involved, but you can be sure that a lively Kill-Fuck-Marry debate is afoot.

Or maybe I'm just being a stuffy hermit working on something. At some point we have to be responsible I guess.

Anything. Ask whatever you want. I don't have secrets about myself, so hit me! I'll drop some juicy bits here so you can't accuse me of dodging the question:

I have dumb swimmers. Ball cancer will do that to you!

If the circumstances are right (i.e. a crowd, a camera), I will demonstrate that certain bodily fluids are recyclable.

Nobody and I mean nobody violates the sacred rules of Spin the Bottle, even if that means I have to kiss a dude or two.

I know every word to most every Ke$ha or Vanessa Carlton song, even some of the unreleased stuff.

You care more about enjoying life than you do about fulfilling some bullshit idea of "adulthood."