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ericklemyelmo

23 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Apr 14
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Two-year college
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), C++ (Fluently), Swahili (Fluently), LISP (Fluently), Afrikaans (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Billy Mays here with another fantastic product!

Have you been looking for the most awesome person to ever exist? Well look no further average consumer, for I'm bringing you the new and improved Erik!

"My friends never do anything fun!" Good news wary traveler, Erik is always down to do fun and exciting things. Want to randomly go to six flags tomorrow? Perfect, Erik comes equipped with a season pass. Shit, that laser tag tournament starts in an hour? Better whip out that portal gun to get us across town, we've got some 7th grader ass to whoop.

"My boyfriend is too short!" Shit son, the Irish god of luck Bono is really laying it on thick for you today. Erik comes out of the box at a height of 6'5", and [clearly coincidentally] makes for a fantastic big spoon when a cuddling is on the roster.

Are your current friend(s) or significant other(s) boring you with terrible tastes in TV shows and movies, or just not supporting your addiction to both? Good thing Erik is a terrible influence and is into a bunch of fantastic tv shows and loves going to the movies(see below specifications for more info).

All this salesman up selling aside, if you get an Erik today, a guarantee will be made. A guarantee of genuinely fun times, ridiculous hijinks, and severely cheesy comedy, no matter what relationship level you choose. I mean come on, this long ass intro should be proof enough!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm working as a server at a restaurant and currently living in the Logan Square/Avondale area.
I’m really good at
Seeing over crowds of people, snapchatting(ericklemyelmo on snapchat), making people laugh at the cheesiest jokes(american cheese), computer, preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, and solving a rubiks cube because I have nothing better to do :D.
The first things people usually notice about me
The obvious things like my height, probably my eyes too, and my goofy personality.

Oh and my huge dick ahuehuehuehue, this section wouldn't be complete without a penis size joke.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Tv shows and movies are a big part of my life, i keep up with a ton of tv shows and go to movies every other week or so. If you aren't a little into either, you have wasted your time reading, sorry. For anyone interested, some of my favorite movies :

Pulp Fiction(this is my number 1), Wayne's World, V for Vendetta, Star Wars (original trilogy), the Evil Dead series(which i have a tattoo of ash on my arm), Back to the Future trilogy, Office Space, Vanilla Sky, Anchorman, and many, many more.

Shows wise: I used to be on that LOST dick, thought it was the best show ever, but recently I've started watching House of Cards and True Detective...and jesus, they are so beautiful. I'm also a huge fan of Breaking bad, Parks and Rec, American Horror Story, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, It's Always Sunny, and How I Met Your Mother. I also currently own a green man suit, dick towel, and a copy of the bro code. Obsessed? Possibly. Some of my other newer shows of interest include Sherlock and Doctor Who.

Music? I like a whole random mish mash of stuff, but I'm mainly in to Alternative and Electronic mucis, RHCP, Airborne Toxic Event, AWOLNation, etc... Books, I really don't read that much but the few that I'm a big fan of The Walking Dead comics, The Road, and World War Z. Food...I'm a picky eater with some things but love food, and love to try new things.
The six things I could never do without
My computer, my computer, trident gum, my phone, my computer, and hoodies.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm a really huge nerd, and not one of those bullshit nerds that is nerdy because they are on the internet a lot. I love technology, phones specifically, they are my favorite thing to keep up with, i love computers as well. I love keeping up with where we are going next in the world with crazy inventions, like the hyperloop, go look it up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually either working, video chatting, out at a bar with friends, or doing some other random fun activity~~
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Hmm...I guess that I failed out of my first year of college, but that isn't exactly a secret, not very private about my life.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–28
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're reading my page? You found anything in here slightly humorous? You want to have a conversation that will cover 20 different random topics that will magically all connect into one giant circle of awesomeness?

But, yeah, feel free to message me to get to know me better, or if you want to hang out, go on a date, etc... Don't be offended if I don't respond to "asl?" because, for one it's already on my profile, and two it's shit...unless you are being ironic, in which case it's still really shit.