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32 Seattle, WA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 2
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A journeyman mountaineer and aspiring outdoor educator and guide; a somewhat-itinerant Northwest native who's a bit of a connoisseur of board games, old tools, science fiction and fantasy novels, marmots, and medieval literature; an introverted, cat-herding adventurer in search of people (a person?) with whom to share awesome experiences.

I was born and raised in the Seattle area, went to undergraduate in the Bay Area. I think I was probably the only person in California to think it was too warm, missing the rain and cloud-cover of the Northwest. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up". In college I studied medieval history and literature. Now I (sometimes, in the summers at least) get paid to be outside, hike around, and grub in the dirt!

Learning new things and improving on old knowledge and skills is hugely important to me. I find teaching -- sharing my knowledge and skills with others -- very satisfying. Narratives have power with me: tell a good story and you've got my whole attention. That goes for many things, though: I generally give my whole attention to whatever I'm focused on. I'm not a good multi-tasker (but then, nobody really is). I get frustrated when I'm listening to a song and can't hear the lyrics.

I consider myself a bit of an intellectual and value smarts and the ability to discuss a topic with rhetorical skill in the abstract, but also passion and honesty. I hate Debate, where the person I'm talking with is trying to 'win' the argument and doesn't really listen to me except to try to figure out how to 'counter' my points. I used to be a Goody-Two-Shoes who always followed the rules. I still respect rules and authority when there's a good reason for it but I'm learning to question more, to ignore poorly conceived restrictions when it doesn't lead to harm and to undermine authority when it's unwarranted or corrosive.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Seeking to enrich myself, gain skills and experiences.
Professionally, I'm still working on figuring out how to reliably and sustainably get paid doing Outdoor Education. I worked for several years seasonally for a non-profit organization, Washington Trails Association (WTA), leading volunteers doing trail maintenance. I'm finally making my goal come together of being a field instructor for NOLS (the National Outdoor Leadership School) leading month-long wilderness skill and leadership building expeditions. It's happening this summer (2014)! I just spent about two and a half months up in Alaska doing training and leading my first course.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
(*) Rambling on about topics that I am excited about. I'm particularly a history buff, but you can get me going about many things: board games, philosophy, mythology, marmots, brewing, linguistics, historic hand tools (specifically crosscut saws).
(*) Balance.
(*) Being near-impossible to offend or upset. If somebody says something negative toward me, my first instinct is to think, "Why do they think that?" rather than take it personally.
(*) Brewing mead (i.e. fermented honey)
(*) Giving massages, I'm told.
(*) A former girlfriend said, jokingly, that I needed to be good at 1) carrying things for her, 2) keeping her warm, and 3) feeding her. I utterly failed at the third, but I'm awesome at the first two. As yet another former girlfriend put it, I have a "tiny furnace" inside me. Really, I produce way too much heat. Please steal it from me! I have too much.
(*) Eating anything that isn't spicy. I have an iron stomach and low standards. Does it contain fat, sugar, or salt? I probably like it. Very much a meat-and-potatoes sort of person. Read: Not a foodie. I don't find a lot of satisfaction going to fancy restaurants - too expensive and I just don't enjoy all the fanciness.
(*) Having a bad sense of smell. This is not usually considered a 'good' thing, but I've only ever found it useful. I'm probably missing out on a whole lot of good things, but if so I've never realized it. Seems like an advantage to me if you spend a lot of time outside.
(*) Unwittingly deceiving people into thinking I'm extraverted, apparently. Partly as a defense mechanism, partly because I'm just enthusiastic about some things, I've learned certain ways to just jump into some social interactions without any hesitation. I can be (unintentionally) misleading: while I'm not particularly shy, I'm definitely strongly introverted and find a whole host of social interactions pretty overwhelming.
(*) Herding cats. Er, I mean, organizing my friends to do awesome things. They're like cats, you see. But I can be pretty good at sorting out logistics, figuring out details, and pestering people to commit to awesome adventures.
(*) Concentrating. I focus well on pretty much anything I'm doing. This whole multi-tasking thing that seems to becoming in vogue (but studies still say everyone's crappy at . . .) isn't me. I basically rarely do anything half-assed. But sometimes it means I make something into too big of a deal and it becomes overwhelming. Agh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Most of the time, the beard. I like having a beard, but I mostly just dislike shaving. I shudder to think of how much time I'd spend in a week, a month, or a year if I shaved every day. I periodically will be relatively clean-shaven, though. [As of 2014/04/15: The beard has been trimmed back from full-on 'mountain man' stature to a more conventionally respectable 'full', but it will steadily returning to it's dense mountain man status if I let it . . .]
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I mostly read fantasy and science-fiction novels, but I also read some classics or good 'literature', as well as non-fiction. The non-fiction tends to be about the outdoors and how to do things.
A smattering of favorite works: Dharma Bums, Jack Kerouac; Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer; The Once and Future King, T.H. White; The Dispossessed, Ursula K. Le Guin; The Wind's Twelve Quarters, Ursula K. Le Guin; The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky; The Measure of a Mountain, Bruce Barcott; The Good Rain, Timothy Egan; The King of Elfland's Daughter, Lord Dunsany; Howl's Moving Castle, Diana Wynne Jones; The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien; A Song of Fire and Ice, G.R.R. Martin; The Vorkosigan books, Lois McMaster Bujold; the poetry of Gary Snyder

I appreciate more artsy films that make you think, but am not very susceptible to things being visually stunning - there needs to be an interesting plot, characters, or the way in which the narrative is presented to captivate me. I'm a sucker for most fantasy movies, though, unless they're super cheesy.
A selection of favorites: The Lion in Winter, 12 Angry Men, lots of Kurosawa (Seven Samurai, Yojimbo), Miyazaki films (Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, From Up on Poppy Hill, etc.), Conspiracy, A Man for All Seasons, Der Krieger und die Kaiserin (The Princess and the Warrior), Unforgiven, Blade Runner, The Fisher King, Excalibur, The Princess Bride, Conan the Barbarian (It's actually a really well-made movie!), Brick, Nowhere in Africa, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, several Ingmar Bergman films (Seventh Seal, Winter Light, Wild Strawberries, etc.), Silver Linings Playbook, Winter's Bone

I mostly don't watch TV unless it's on DVD (or streamed, I guess) and in several-episode binges.
Farscape, Deadwood, Babylon 5, Carnivale, Defiance, Firefly, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

I'm just not really that into music, honestly. I don't get very excited about it. I usually prefer something with intelligible (to me) lyrics that tell a story or are somewhat poetic - if the music doesn't have an intellectual component, something narrative or lyrically evocative, I won't spare much attention to it. I'm not a big one for background music - I either want to be listening to it actively or have it off, really. I like listening to music in the car because I'm just occupied by driving enough to not be bored just sitting there and I can put most of my attention to the music or whatever thoughts it spurs for me. Live music can be fun but I'm really now willing to spend much money (or time and energy) on it. Friends playing their songs or covers acoustic at a party is probably the best.
That said, I tend to like folk music, lyric-y pop, some country music, various forms of old-timey music (bluegrass, celtic, etc.). Some artist or groups I like: Vienna Teng, Townes Van Zandt, Brandi Carlile, Stan Rogers, Dave Mallett, County Crows, Fleet Foxes, Gordon Lightfoot, Kate Rusby, Hem, Richard Shindell, Great Big Sea, Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer, Nickel Creek, Third Eye Blind
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
(*) Mountains and forests
(*) Books
(*) Time alone - I'm an introvert, regularly need to recharge my social batteries
(*) Rain
(*) Notepad - jot down things to remember, ideas
(*) Honesty
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
(*) Planning outdoor adventures: mountaineering, long backpacking trips, scrambles through dense woods and rocky places, rock climbing, wandering down train tracks.
(*) Fantasizing about owning property out in the boonies and building a house mostly with my own two hands. Probably out on the Olympic Peninsula.
(*) Considering the nature of the modern American (and more broadly, world) economy and what qualifies as responsible economic activity (i.e. jobs) in it; what, in our world, is truly "honest labor" that creates true and sustainable wealth - and by 'wealth' I don't mean 'money' but things (both concrete and abstract) that are of value and use to people.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Intending to get to bed early so I can get up early on Saturday for outdoor adventures (or, alas, often work). I usually fail at getting to bed early.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'll take this section and rebrand it for what I think the 'most private thing' is really trying to get at: 1) Quirky things about me, and 2) 'Things you should know about me that might be off-putting'. I'm a strong advocate of being frank, of full disclosure. I don't want to 'trick' anyone into liking me. I'd rather put my 'true' foot forward rather than my 'best' food forward. We don't sell no lemons here, mam.


I'm not a terribly devoted environmentalist. I mostly come off as fairly conscientious about it, though, because I abhor waste. It's really more of an aesthetic quality than an ethical or social value, though.

A shameful vice of mine is enjoying really long, warm showers. I really shouldn't use so much water.

I once had my scalp split open from fighting in the Thunderdome the night of the Burn but didn't realize it for hours later. Then I got five metal staples in my head which got removed a week later in Penzance, Cornwall. I've since fought several more times in the Thunderdome, even winning a few matches! (I didn't win that first one, alas. My now-friend, then-near-stranger really pummeled me good.)
One of said Thunderdome matches:
(For those not in the know, the Thunderdome is a recreation of a dueling dome in the movie Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome that is created at Burning Man each year. You get in a climbing harness, rigged into bungie cords, given a padded sword, and then duke it out and public acclaim dictates the winner after a few rounds.)
( )

On that note, I've been to Burning Man four or five times, and went again this past summer (2013). Sometimes I really wonder why I go to the desert in Nevada in the height of summer each year. 'Community' is probably the answer. I'm really not enough of an extravert to get the fullest experience. I mostly just really enjoy being around my friends when they're at Burning Man -- having a week in which nobody has any external commitments and can just PLAY is pretty wonderful.

Full Disclosure

I intermittently see a counselor to work on dealing with anxiety. It is a pretty significant issue for me and has caused me lot of problems in life. It first obviously manifested in academics -- I completed my bachelor degree in four-ish years spaced out over six years in part because I got suspended for not completing enough units each quarter. I frequently couldn't get myself to write essays, so didn't finish final papers for classes. There is also a significant social anxiety aspect to it. I'm getting more and more aware of the full dimensions of the problem and learning strategies of working around it. But it is definitely a Thing in my life. I get hung up on writing emails, calling people, asking for help, revising my resume, applying for jobs, certain types of partner dance (leading is intense!).

I've dabbled with open romantic relationships. As of right now [2013/12/12] I probably qualify as 'single'. I specify 'qualify as' because my last romantic relationship 'ended' mostly with a whimper (no bang) because she moved farther away, had other focuses (romantic and non-romantic) in her life take higher priority, and (probably most importantly) I decided I wanted to find somebody who I could focus more of my attention on and who I was more excited and passionate about. None of those reasons were explicit relationship-ending factors, though, so it just sort of faded rather than officially ending. Ultimately, I'm open to the idea of open relationships and the model seems workable for me, but it's never been an important things for me. All the open (or open-ish) relationships I've been in have been more at the instigation of the other party(/ies). It's something I could take or leave. That being said, the underlying principles often associated with open relationships are important to me:
defining the rules of the relationship explicitly rather than just assuming what they should be; figuring out what works for you and your partner(s); being open and honest and frank about what you want and what you need. Especially the honest and frankness. I am fine with a closed or monogamous relationship, as long as that is what is agreed upon by all parties -- not just as an expected, assumed, and undiscussed default.


Back to the privacy idea, though, I'm generally willing to tell most anyone most anything about myself. Ask me and I'll probably answer.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're interested in sharing adventures, particularly outside.
I'm interested in finding someone (or someones) with whom I can share experiences. Ideally we would develop emotional and physical intimacy, too, but that's harder to guarantee.

Activities I am particularly interested in: mountaineering, scrambling, hiking, rock climbing, snowshoeing, board games, learning new skills, watching artsy/intellectual films, contra and square dancing, road trips.

Really! If you want to get into mountain climbing I am quite eager to take new people into the mountains! All you need is a decent sense of balance, reasonable physical fitness, and a willingness to face adventure! Okay, you probably have to be willing to get up ridiculously early in the morning, too. That is the real secret to being a bad-ass mountaineer: getting up at 3am so you can still make the summit when you get off route and waste four hours bushwhacking up the wrong drainage . . . (No, of course that has never happened to me!)