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28 San Francisco, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 26–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:19pm
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body type
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Born in Connecticut, grew up in Florida, college in Boston, and living out adult life (so far) in a dingy-but-lovable corner of SOMA.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm the editor-in-chief of a popular San Francisco restaurant news blog. If you like this sort of thing, it's probably the one you're thinking of. I'm not a food critic (those jobs are pretty much dead these days), but a reporter covering the restaurant beat. I have views on molecular gastronomy, but also on Taco Bell, so I promise I'm not completely down the culinary rabbit hole.

I also get paid to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine every Sunday night, and then tell people what I thought about it in six largely rambling paragraphs.

Other descriptors: fiction writer, craft-beer dork, film snob, yogini, semi-pro smartass.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dumb puns (making and appreciating). Trivia. Book-hoarding. Communicating entirely in favorite Achewood links. Getting a sunburn after five minutes of exposure. Parsing a beer list. Giving backrubs. Cooking dinner with a minimal amount of cursing. Skee ball. Napping.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A fellow writer (now a friend) wrote an article about the night we met, in which she described me as "awesome, intellectual, funny, a little goofy, self-effacing, girlish, and love[s] to drink."

I have a very loud laugh and very small feet.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Middlemarch, Straight Man, Ulysses, Fifth Business, The Broom of the System, A Fan's Notes, Rats Saw God, An Invisible Sign of My Own, Cloud Atlas, Memoir From Antproof Case, Random Family, Archy and Mehitabel, Herzog, Apex Hides the Hurt, Both Ways Is the Only Way I Want It, Wonder Boys, Flying Leap, Portnoy's Complaint, My Misspent Youth, The Rings of Saturn, Lit, God Is Dead, Moby Dick, Black Swan Green.

Films: Rushmore, The Philadelphia Story, My Neighbor Totoro, Yi Yi, Hot Fuzz, Stop Making Sense, Slacker, Mutual Appreciation, There Will Be Blood, The 400 Blows, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Spirited Away, Kicking and Screaming, Down By Law, and anything Coen Bros.

Television: The Wire, Mad Men, Arrested Development, Mr. Show, Breaking Bad, Peep Show, Freaks and Geeks, Party Down, Daria, Louie, Rectify, Broad City, You're the Worst, High Maintenance.

Music: Pavement, Talking Heads, Steely Dan, The Silver Jews, The Wrens, Minutemen, They Might Be Giants, Pixies, Spoon, The Beta Band, Devo, Built to Spill, Wilco, The Fiery Furnaces, Beulah, Modest Mouse, LCD Soundsystem, Man Man, The Clash, Emperor X, Slint, Belle and Sebastian, The Dismemberment Plan, New Pornographers, The Aislers Set, Destroyer, Guided By Voices, The Evens, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Sleater-Kinney, The Hold Steady.

Food: Eating out is part of my job, so I eat almost everything. These are the three things I don't eat: cilantro (lousy genetics make it taste like soap), coffee (lousy genetics make me sick when I drink it, even decaf), blue cheese (terrifying).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books, beers, buddies, bathos, bravery, badinage.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I can marry six cats, all stacked up on top of one another inside of a suit. That's pretty much the only real romantic prospect I have going right now, so the Republicans better not screw this up for me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Some combination of dinner, friends, wine, movie theaters, novels, restaurants, bars, house parties, and smashing the state.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I cry at everything sad in pop culture and/or art. I'm the human equivalent of a sea urchin: pokey exterior, soft intense center.

Total sub. Not looking for casual sex in that vein (it requires trust), but if you're interested in dating someone who's inclined that way, now you know.

I have no tolerance for littering, treating service workers poorly, or "Don't Stop Believing," which I will never forgive David Chase for repopularizing. I enjoy punishing evildoers, though that mostly consists of insulting men who street-harass me and calling the cops on bike chop shops from a safe distance away.

I own probably three times the number of stuffed animals that is acceptable for a grown woman.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are kind. And witty. And your profile doesn't contain dirt-dull sentences like "I'm a laid-back guy," or "I can be serious, but I like to have fun, too."

You're a try-hard. I try hard. I give a lot of fucks, essentially all the fucks, and cooler-than-thou posturing seems to only ignite a primal rage inside me.

You love to read. Especially fiction and long-form journalism. You have at least one book written by a woman in your favorite books list. (95% of men on OKC fail this test, incidentally.)

Chris Eigeman would play you in the movie version.

You like your women whip-smart, blunt, and thoroughly hedonistic.