I was lying in the grass and reading a book, when my friend comes over to sit in the grass with me. As she prepares to sit we hear a tearing noise and she rips her pants... right down the crack. She turned red and I laughed hysterically rolling in the grass before I give her my jacket to cover her behind.
Shortly after I first moved to New York I was at this party and this guy walks into the room out of the bedroom. He was taking a nap but was woken up. Here is how our conversation went:
Me: "You look tired. Couldn't sleep?"
Him: "No, a bunch of babies woke me up by pulling off my socks."
Me: "Mazel tov on your sock babies"
Him: "They weren't Jewish sock babies" *laughs*
Me: "I didn't say they were Jewish sock babies. I just congratulated you on the sock babies"
He laughed and smiled and I made a new friend that night.
I have plenty more but I'll save them for later.