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antevasin_pdx

38 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Aug 23
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Indian
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Hindi (Poorly), C++ (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I think life is like one of those chose your own adventure books, except a million times better as there are no wrong choices, just opportunities to learn and grow. Sometimes these opportunities may be painful, but out of pain comes resiliency.

I like asking lots of questions.

I am a shy extrovert. I enjoy the company of others who like to partake in long interesting conversations about anything and everything but sometimes have a hard time in really big crowds of people.

I get great joy in cooking for others with tasty, healthy, fresh, local ingredients.

I love to cuddle and snuggle.

I am interested non-violent communication, active listening, and other tools and techniques to help people
increase their emotional intelligence and better connect with each other.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Growing, shifting, learning

I am practicing polyamory and am in a completely open relationship with the amazing lotusgaze. We're married, totally in love, but completely support each other in exploring other romantic and sexual relationships.

My j.o.b is managing a globally-distributed team of open source software developers . After 12 years of being an engineer, being a manager is challenging me and teaching me a lot about leadership, setting expectations, asking for what I need/wanting, etc.

I own a home that I share with 4 other people and am working on turning into an example of environmental, social, financial, and spiritual sustainable living in an urban setting. Shared resources, permaculture, food forests, rainwater harvesting, consensus based decisions, chickens, etc.

I am working on purging and minimizing my material belongings and living a simpler life where I enjoy the beauty of day-to-day experiences instead of amassing possessions.

Cooking as much as I can, though with the j.o.b and the house management and projects it is not as often as I'd like to.

Planning my eventual exit from the corporate software world. This could involve starting a food business (food cart? brick and mortar? catering?), getting into mobile applications that help farmers and gardeners, working at a food and farming non-profit, or various other possibilities that connect my passion for healthy food with my skills.

Exploring my spirituality. I was an militant Richard Dawkins style atheist in my twenties and have shifted over the last few years to a place of much more openness and acceptance. I find that I resonate with spirituality grounded on personal inner work and spiritual atheism far more than supernatural based spiritual practices.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking a mean curry

Being there for my friends and loved ones with emotional support when they need it

Not getting enough sleep

Being extremely silly...

Oscillating between extreme shyness and bubbly outgoingness
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm assuming my hair since I get many comments on that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I don't like to list favorites b/c what I feel like eating, reading, doing is completely dependent on my current mood. I go on kicks with food and music sometimes, from weeks to maybe months.

I used to read a lot of sci-fi and the works that have influenced me the most are Dune, Stranger in a Strange Land, and Neverness, which unfortunately most people have never heard of in the U.S. :( These days I read a lot more non-fiction, focusing on natural technologies, sustainability, green building, personal growth, etc. I recently finished reading Wendell Berry's "A Continuous Harmony" and was blown away by his wisdom.

Movie wise, I love everything from the deeply serious to patently absurd B movie. Inspiring directors include Kurosawa, Gilliam, Wes Anderson, Richard Linklater, Christopher Nolan

Insert obligatory "I do not own a TV but get addicted watching random shows such as Firefly and True Blood on the Internet" quote here. I really like documentaries and every so often fire up Frontline or Nova on the computer.

Music wise I listen to just about anything though I prefer music I can dance with, not just passively listen to. I don't really follow music genres. If I like how it sounds, it's good enough for me.

I <3 all food from asparagus to zatar.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Food: Local, organic, grown/raised ethically.

- Intellectual stimulation

- My bike

- Community: Lovers, friends, snuggle buddies

- Transparent and Honest communication

- Good beer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How we're going to survive as a species given the issues of resource declination. How can I live in a more sustainable manner while still enjoying some of the benefits our technology-driven society?

Food and cooking. I often spend my working hours daydreaming about what to cook next and about interesting flavor, texture, and aroma combinations.

Love, Sex, "Relationships." I don't like that word b/c we have relationships with every person we come in contact with and it has been co-opted to mean a very specific type of connection between two people. What exactly does my version of polyamory/openness look like down the road.? I don't really like the terms "primary" and "secondary" and at the same time I do want to build deep, meaningful, long-term connections with people.

These days I've been thinking a lot more about race and diversity as I keep noticing that I often am the only non-Caucasian in gatherings around Portland. I'm specifically wondering how to grow the sustainability movement beyond the bubble of inner PDX and the organizations that cater mostly to young Caucasians.

How do I merge my logical, scientific view of the physical world with spiritual ideas and experiences? I've recently had what I can only call a spiritual awakening of sorts and I am working on understanding what it means to be spiritual without being superstitious.

I've also started to think about gender as a social construct lately as I don't really fit into the traditional Male gender role and am fairly comfortable expressing my feminine side. Sexuality too...I list myself as "bi" but I've only played with a few men and am discovering that all physical body types are really hot and sexy to me regardless of gender and that what I like sexually is kind of all over the map and can't fit into a box.

The concept of of identity and how we define ourselves ("beer geek", " "computer geek", "introvert","foodie", etc...) and how those definitions both allow for connecting us to others and also limit us in expanding ourselves.

I'm not serious all the time and also think a lot about funky outfits (I <3 the bins), good beer, board gaming, and general silliness.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Typical?" I telecommute for work and there are Friday nights when I just sit at home and work b/c I've been out other nights and days and not gotten much done. Other times I go to a dance party, a board game night, a potluck, a bike ride, etc. My interests are as varied as the people in my life so I might go hangout with a bunch of suburban corporate geeks over beer one weekend and a bunch activists around the burn barrel the next one.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am working on practicing complete and total honesty and transparency in my life (note how long winded this profile is!) so don't want to have anything I don't want to admit. Ask me any question and I'll answer it.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 21–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you got down this far, congratulations. :)

You are passionate about something you do whether it be work, a philosophy, music, comic books, a certain type of food, beer, sexuality, bikes, etc. Whatever your fancy, you like to share it with others but you do not think your "ism" is better than other people's "isms". You are interested in doing your part in changing the world in whatever way feels true to you. You are creative. You are curious about the world around you. You question yourself and are open to change and to new possibilities in your path. You can, or are at least do your best to, communicate transparently and compassionately.

You want to go an adventures by bike, or go explore the local food scene, or go to music shows, or geek out over open source software, or work in the garden, etc....

I love to meet new people I and am open to meeting friends, adventurers, cuddle buddies, casual lovers, FWBs, long-term partners in crime, etc. If you are a bi or gay guy open to playing with someone still exploring that side of his sexuality, definitely message me. :)

If you want to be a regular lover with me you need to truly open to open relationships of all types and be willing to meet my other partner(s). I don't expect my partners to all be friends with each other but I want them to be able to accept each other and be respectful if they happen to be in the same room together.

You want to meet in real life for tea, coffee, beer, and adventures versus emailing back and forth for weeks!