And if you didn't catch it at the top there, I'm not single, and I'm not looking. I don't mind talking to people, but keep your suave romancing tactics to yourself. (ps you don't have any suave romancing tactics, trust me)
HOWEVER, if you happen to be a lady and interested in being my new BFF, apply within. Just don't be crazy religious or nothing, and for the love of god please have some idea of how the English language works. Each misspelled word and unnecessarily abbreviated phrase is like a stab into my tiny cold heart.