I'm Simon, and I am a certified asshole.
By that, I mean that I am unafraid to speak my mind, loudly and obnoxiously, if needs must. I am opinionated, arrogant and somewhat cruel in my affections.
Let me start again.
Hi There; I'm Simon.
I am shallow, fickle and flirtatious, which leads me into all sorts of trouble, as you might imagine.
I frequently claim that I have no redeeming features. I am also assured by those that know me that this is a lie.
No, no. Still no good.
One last time.
Hi there, I be awesome.
My sister is awesome, my father is awesome, and my grandfather before us was awesome.
I truly come from a long line of awesome
I am like a god to you.
I am a musician (mainly I am a guitarist, but I play violin, viola, french horn, and piano.). I am a poet. I am reasonably good at both. I have been an actor, a waiter, an IT consultant, a bartender, a stage manager, a director and a writer.
I haggle with supermarket cashiers for fun. I dance until I can no longer walk. I work hard, and play harder. I flirt with any and everyone who catches my eye. I do not hesitate to say what I think, and I am too damn honest for my own good.
I am both incredibly self-concious, and overbearingly egotistical, frequently at the same time.
If offered Achilles' choice of glory or long life, I will always choose glory.
I will not be content.
You should love me.
I am entertaining, sardonic, and flirtatious