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57 Toronto, Ontario, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 33–61
  • Located anywhere
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:41pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi. It's the end of June and I'm not here and won't be all summer. How's that for a opener? I'm at the cottage in Kenora, Ontario, waaay off the grid, but I have good mobility. I gotta car...airmiles etc. I go into town every week or two to check my mail, pay bills etc. So peruse this at your leisure, then say to yourself "wow, this guy is different! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR! " and then sent me a note (don't just "like" me). If you are funny and pretty and hot like a fire-cracker, I'll surely get back to you...wherever you are. We'll just have a little more-than-usual literary foreplay before meeting.
I'm looking for a fun person. I'm not sure there's much more to it than that. I'm 57, so I guess it's a question of having fun and chasing THE HAPPY...and finding someone here to chase it with. You may be entertained by going to the questions and sorting answers "with explanations." Me funny...and not here...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
choppin' wood
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
choppin' wood
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i have an axe
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Just quickly, if you fully appreciate the depth and beauty of Leonard Cohen, we're half-way home...oh, and while I'm here, did I ever tell you I wrote, directed and produced a film? Didn't I? Oh, well then; it was called Amborella (Amborella is the first plant, in horticultural evolution, to flower. And yes, I see the possible perception of redundancy in using "plant" and "horticulture" in the same sentence, but...I AM AN A H H T I S T ! ! !) So, like, Amborella was the name of my heroine and she was in a mental institution, eh? So, Amborella is my favourite movie. I doubt I'll ever try to make another film, but always wanted to do it, so I did it. And another thing...Did you know that The Princess Bride won NO Academy Awards? Mark Knopfler was nominated for best song and THAT didn't even win. Is there a movie that is better written? The Cliffs of Insanity...Twue nomination, no awards. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya..." Seriously...not a single award. And, eh? Oh and did I tell you I like to paint, too? Mostly it’s just good therapy. (Oh, mental incapacitation, wrong space) Oh, and Milan Kundera...and especially his book Immortality, which my sister says she thinks I could have written. Nice sister, eh? And I've been likened to David Sedaris, which is nice, because he is lovely. (and I mean that in the manliest of manly ways...we're talkin' the literary Sedaris, right? Never mind.) So yes to painting and books and movies...both passively and practically. I haven't written a book yet, but that is next on the to-do list. Yep...right at the top...maybe I'll write about a 57 year old fool who thinks he can find True Love on the Internet. Oh, I forgot about food. 25 years ago, when I went backpacking in India (I bin everywhere man...), I was worried about what I was going to eat to sustain me. Well, the food turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip and now I'll eat most anything (except brains...not big on brains...or other gross things...but I'll eat stuff that isn't too gross...I've never tried bugs, either...nevermind). Oh, and road trips. I want to go to Newfoundland and look at the Basalt field. Then, from there, to the other 3 corners of North America. And some of the places in-between, too. It might take a day or two...but that's okay...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
an axe
a place to pile wood
a tarp to cover the top of the wood pile, so it doesn't get wet
more wood
a new place to pile wood
another tarp...shit...that's 7 things plus a new tarp...I'm going to have to call in a Consultant. Things are getting complicated...why do things always have to get complicated? I mean, if choppin' wood gets complicated, what the hell are my chances here? :)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
choppin' wood
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
gettin' drunk and choppin' wood
(editors note...not gettin' drunk no more...just choppin' wood)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like choppin' wood...and eatin' cream of asparagus soup...but mostly choppin' wood. And I like clean socks and clean underwear when I'm choppin' wood. nothin' like choppin' wood with clean socks and underwear. know what I mean? course you do...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you like a man with big manly wood choppin' muscles who has an axe and wears a toque and you should especially message me if you like fires.
ps. So, I'm somewhat jaded when it comes to chasing girls. I'm 57 and I've learned that HERE, it is pointless chasing women. I'm playing very passively here. You have to message me (i don't get to see who "likes" me...they want $20 if I want to see who likes me?...anyone else find that a little oily?...peeling another 20 off a lonely boy like me? I can afford the $20, but I don't want to encourage these weasels...damn data-miners...) I've thrown up a profile, answered some questions, just in case "the one" happens by. Ultimately, you should message me if you are at the stage where you think sitting around on a Sunday morning reading the New York Times is a lovely way to decompose...oh, yeah, please have a photo. I'm less and less shallow the older I get...but I'm still a guy, eh? And answer some questions...that's the whole point of this. By answering questions one is better able to identify like-minded people, which leads to better matching, right? So click on answers "with explanations" and experience my humble offerings. Then answer some questions, have some fun and get yourself a personality profile. Then fall in love and live happily ever after...