f3m4n0n
23 Columbus, OH
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f3m4n0n
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My self-summary
Intp, maybe Isfp depending on the day.
Compassionate. Free-spirit. Quiet. Indecisive. Apathetic. Cute. Weird.

I'm pretty much the easiest person to get along with, especially if your hobbies include smoking, eating, drinking, dancing, music, watching tv, watching the world go by, and not giving very many fucks. I get lost in my own head a lot and I can be difficult to talk to when I'm feeling introspective. On the other hand, you'll be pleasantly surprised by some of the funny or fucked up shit that comes out of my mouth when I'm feeling comfortable. The people I love most always accuse me of being too nice. If you treat me well, I will treat you well.

I consider myself polyamorous. I don't currently have a "primary" partner.
What I’m doing with my life
My degree is in sustainable agriculture but I'm currently rolling burritos and making guacamole for 10 bucks an hour while I figure out what the hell to do with my life.

What I wish I were doing: traveling, toes in the sand, drinking wine or tequila, laughing, growing flowers and fruits, making people happy.

I also play a little piano and i like to post mediocre ukulele covers: http://youtu.be/1IUF32tU1m4
I’m really good at
-being lazy

-cuddling. Apparently I'm just like, built for it.

-dealing with gross shit. I like seeing people squirm.

-making people look like giants when they stand near me.

-being the "bong wench"

-playing songs by ear. playing pink floyd covers.

-making you lose the game

What I wish I were good at:
Paying my bills on time, remembering where my keys are, finishing drinks that I open, washing dishes as I use them, piano, guitar, liking leafy green vegetables, having any amount of tact, deciding NOT to eat the entire bag of candy at once, dressing myself in the winter..
The first things people usually notice about me
Ass. And titties. Ass, ass, and titties. Probably, idk.

I'm very short, and quite plump as well. I wear a lot of dresses because I like not worrying about matching. I'm not sure if it's actually the case but I almost always feel overdressed.

People, especially older people, like to tell me I have an old soul, if that helps you. I'm usually pretty zen. I smile a lot.

When I'm around unfamiliar people I tend to speak only when spoken to because I have a lot of social anxiety and I'm pretty sure you're going to hate me. This causes me to come off as kind of a shitty conversationalist.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Shows I have binged on, some of them multiple times: Pete and Pete, Seinfeld, Louie, Sex and the City, community, Hey Arnold, King of the Hill, parks and rec, South Park, good eats, cutthroat kitchen, Daria, Beavis and Butthead, SVU, Friends, etc..

Currently watching: always sunny.

Food: chicken, broccoli, spinach, fruit, steak, cheese, pizza, peanut butter, avocados. That's like 80% of my diet. Trying to eat somewhat healthy these days but I fucking love processed cheese. I can be kind of a picky eater. I try to avoid mushrooms, olives, raw onion, and anything too spicy, bitter, or sour 👍

I was raised on Floyd, sabbath, zeppelin and the Beatles so those will always be my favorites. I also enjoy the carpenters, the mamas and papas, smashing pumpkins, pixies, neutral milk hotel, Neil Young, radio head. Janis Joplin, Liz Phair, Norah Jones, ingrid Michaelson, Vanessa Carlton, patsy cline. Metallica, horse the band, slayer, Pantera. Stevie wonder, anything funky or jazzy. The list could go on forever.
The six things I could never do without
Levity.
A large water pipe.
Fire.
Animal companion, preferably human or feline.
Comfy shoes.
Now that winter is here: a few shit tons of black leggings and tights.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much my perception has changed over the past year, and how at any moment something or someone could change it again. What people in the future will make fun of our generation for believing. Also: the matrix, new world order, taoism, nihilism, humanism, ecology, food/energy, resources, game theory, why nothing matters, and all the things that I forgot to do. (and all the times I had the chance to.)
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably at a bar, wiggling my body to the beat of the music. Or maybe at home hanging out with some friends and a bong.
My favorite places are bossy grrls, ledos, space bar, rumba, and Ace of cups.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm actually a male cat trapped in the body of a human female. Please help meowt.

My house is a mess. Not like, hoarders or anything but it gets pretty ugly when I'm working a lot. I can be clean when I live with clean people but apparently my roommate and I are both slobs at heart.

I weigh around 200 pounds (+/- 10). Deal with it?

Also, on a scale of 1-10, I'm basically Snoop Dogg.
You should message me if
You like to smoke the pots and listen to the devil's music. You want to go out sometime. You want to stay in sometime. You want to cuddle and listen to records or watch TV. You like to talk (I like to listen). You want to be friends. You're smart, kind, thoughtful, smart, happy, playful, ambitious, did I mention smart? I'm pretty sure I'm a little bit sapiosexual wink wink.

Sorry but sloppy kissers need not apply. Saliva weirds me out. :(

PS: I don't drive but I'm working on it.

fin.
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