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f3m4n0n

23 Columbus, OH Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 23
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 0″ (1.53m)
Body type
Overweight
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
Less than $20,000
Status
Single
Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Introvert. Like seriously, so introverted it hurts sometimes. Minimalist. Stoner. Optimistic realist? Tolerant, considerate, compassionate. Generous. Selective perfectionist. Very weird at times, but not very geeky at all, even though I tend to attract geeky people. Socially anxious. Inferiority complex. I pretty much always feel out of place. I always try to make the people who make me happy.. happy. I like to make people laugh. Some people seem to like it, others just don't seem to get it. Let's just say that if you enjoy being a little bit surprised or even disgusted by what comes out of someone's mouth sometimes, we'll probably get along just fine. Does that help you? Sometimes I'll surprise you with something crude and gross and funny, and sometimes I'll drop wisdom that will make you think I'm secretly one of the most smart and insightful people ever. I can be very shy around new people, but I'm pretty fucking cool if you're willing to put some work into reassuring me and coaxing me out of my shell.

I'm currently involved in a few non-monogamous relationships so I'm not currently looking for anything exclusive but that could always change. I'm definitely not looking for casual sex though. Just, you know, thought I'd throw that out there.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My degree is in sustainable agriculture but I'm currently rolling burritos and sweeping floors for basically minimum wage while I figure out what the hell to do with my life.

I also play a little piano and i like to post mediocre ukulele covers: http://youtu.be/1IUF32tU1m4
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-screwing up first impressions. I'm hella shy around groups of "new" people. It'll take a few hours or a few shots before my anxiety chills the fuck out. I'm much less nervous when talking to people one-on-one.

-providing a neutral viewpoint, justifying the actions of others and being tolerant of them even when I don't necessarily agree with them.

-making fun of my friends. making fun of myself.

-going with the flow. I am not a planner.

-being lazy

-turning guys into chubby chasers. I don't try to do this but it always seems to happen.

-dealing with gross shit. I like seeing people squirm.

-making people look like giants when they stand near me.

-being the "bong wench"

-playing songs by ear. playing pink floyd covers.

-making you lose the game
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Appears to be a human female. Long curly hair, boobs. Quite stout, could be some sort of dwarf or halfling?
She's really quiet.. wait did she just meow?
5/10 would probably bang"

People, especially older people, like to tell me I have an old soul, so there's that.
When I'm around unfamiliar people I tend to speak only when spoken to.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Shows I have watched all the way through at least once: Pete and Pete, Seinfeld, Sex and the City, Hey Arnold, King of the Hill, Daria, Beavis and Butthead, SVU, Friends.
Currently watching: Jeopardy, Cutthroat Kitchen, Good Eats, Forensic Files.

Food: lots of beans and dead animals and cheese, preferably fried cheese. hxc snacker also.

Music is mostly just Floyd, sabbath, zeppelin, the Beatles, and a few girly artists like norah Jones and Vanessa Carlton. I'm also a fan of the smashing pumpkins, neutral milk hotel and pretty much anything with a good bass line.

Movies and books are too much of a commitment right now, but I have plans to change that. Eventually, you know?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A large water pipe.
Fire.
Animal companion, preferably human or feline.
Pillow top mattress.
Comfy shoes?
And fire.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
food/trophic levels, food science, chord progressions, weed politics, the matrix, new world order, taoism, nihilism, humanism, ecology, game theory, why nothing matters, and all the things that I forgot to do. (and all the times I had the chance to).

I spend a lot of time talking about:
My cat, my friends' cats, life at the burrito factory, tv, music, weed, highdeas, the illuminati or lack thereof, funny stories, food.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Ideally, on a date and getting a free dinner.

But more likely in bed with my cat and bong.

...or at work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm actually a male cat trapped in the body of a human female. Please help meowt.

My house is usually a mess. Not like, hoarders or anything but it gets pretty ugly when I'm working a lot.

I weigh just over 200 pounds. If that's a problem for you, at least we figured that out now rather than later.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can do a little better than "what's up" or "how r u".

at least a few of these apply to you:

you've got something nice to combust with me.

you do music-y stuff and you'd like to try doing music-y stuff with me

You can repair ukuleles? Because I've got a nice collection of now-broken ukuleles.

You want to sit around and watch sitcoms with me and my water pipe?

you like to talk (I like to listen).
you're a fan of comfortable silence.

Sloppy kissers need not apply. Saliva weirds me out.

PS: I don't drive. I bike. If you're more than a few miles away from me, you'll need a car.

fin.