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f3m4n0n

22 F Eastpointe, MI

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 12:13pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 0″ (1.53m)
Body Type
Overweight
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
awkward. very awkward. social anxiety, ADHD and probably some mild form of autism have combined to create my abomination of a personality. But I usually have a smile on my face, a joint in my hand, and I can get along with just about anyone if doing so benefits me in some way. If I like you and we are talking one-on-one, I'll talk to you like I've known you forever, even if we've just met. However, I'm generally very quiet in groups of people, always getting lost in my own thoughts. I dislike crowds and smalltalk.

Nearly every person who signed my high school yearbook used the words "most unique" or "interesting." I was voted "most likely to sing during class." I got straight-As and had maybe 10 friends.
I sing when I'm bored. Loudly. My roommates find it annoying and somewhat creepy.
I make inappropriate jokes when I'm uncomfortable and laugh way too much at my own jokes.
I just do my best to enjoy life, man.

I bounce back and forth between Columbus, Ohio and Eastpointe, Michigan. My current location may be inaccurate.

I can't walk past a cat without trying to pet it. my cat is my best friend. I'm the person that spends the entire party hanging out with a cat. i communicate in mostly meows.

I'm a lazy stoner, always. You may think you're lazy, but I can almost guarantee I've got you beat. I am bachelor frog.
My glass collection is worth more than all of my electronics combined. I'm not exactly proud of this but it tells you a lot about my priorities.
I actively avoid places with "no smoking" policies.
drinking, sometimes.
Everything else, sometimes.
my typical day involves sitting, inhaling, eating, and maybe going to work. rinse repeat.

i have always been kind of weird. I like weird things. conspiracy theories, taboo sex, gore, terrible jokes, etc. I stumbled upon 4chan at age 14 and it's all been downhill from there. Nothing you say or show me is going to shock or offend me.
I'm also a fan of most things nerdy and science-y.

I'm a relationship anarchist. technically I practice hierarchical polyamory, but basically I do what I want. I've got one primary boyfriend who lives a few hours away and a few secondary boyfriends that I keep around just in case I need them. I used to be very kinky and submissive, but I've become more dominant lately after getting frustrated with some selfish partners. I'm flexible, and all of my relationships are different. I have pillow princess tendencies, but you'll like it. My harem is always open to new boyfriends/girlfriends, but at this point I'm pretty picky. Some platonic relationships would be cool though.

Other things I should mention: annoyingly realist, sarcastic. Chaotic neutral. Introverted as fuck. existential nihilist? Buddhism? Taoism? Apatheist. Somewhat of a sadist. The game.
What I’m doing with my life
i waste away the days, waiting on a new age.

also dabs.

It's not uncommon to find me riding my bike around the campus area in a pretty dress, singing black sabbath or the Beatles as I roll along.

temporarily kind-of-unemployed, so there's a lot of sitting around involved. I still pay my own bills and buy my own shit. I grew up poor so I'm pretty good at stretching a dollar.

paying way too much for a degree in management for natural resource-related careers. focusing on urban farming/sustainable farming. I like food. maybe open a hyper-local restaurant someday? Farmer? Voice actress? Off-grid environmental vigilante? All of the above? Who knows.

rather mediocre ukulele covers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_kbH891L68
I’m really good at
-screwing up first impressions. I'm hella shy around "new" people.
>"I know all I've done for the last 20 minutes is stare at my shoes and agree with everything you've said, but I promise that I'm pretty interesting." Please be my friend u.u

-providing a neutral viewpoint, justifying the actions of others and being tolerant of them even when I don't necessarily agree with them. Putting shit in perspective.

-cooking, baking, etc. I do a lot of eating.

-dealing with gross shit. I like seeing people squirm.

-not giving any fucks

-saying "fuck" a lot

-making people look like giants when they stand near me.

-being the "bong wench"

-playing songs by ear

-Making fun of people. Making fun of myself.

-losing the game
The first things people usually notice about me
"Long hair, boobs, wearing something floral and flowy.
Appears to be a human female.
Did she just meow at me?"

Seriously, I meow a lot.
The six things I could never do without
my favorite pipe
plus:
the dark side of the moon
meddle
paranoid
master of reality
exile in guyville
music from the adventures of pete and pete
in the aeroplane over the sea

boners
I spend a lot of time thinking about
food/trophic levels, weed, ETs, new world order, why nothing matters, and all the things that I forgot to do. (and all the times I had the chance to).
On a typical Friday night I am
stoned. I probably have no idea that it's friday because every day feels the same.

when I do find out that it is, in fact, friday, I will probably say "gotta get down on friday" and "gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal" at least twice each before the end of the day.

breakin the law, breakin the lawww, etc.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I fart on the first date. No shame.

I don't wear makeup. I keep it 4realziez.
I own no more than 3 pairs of pants and at least 20 dresses.
95% of my clothing is used.

180-210. DDD. Size 16-18.

I always respond to "what's up?" with "my dick." It's been going on since high school.

I consider myself to be a gay man trapped in the body of a pretty lady.
I talk about my dick a lot (relatively).
spoiler: I don't actually have one.

Kik: 42me0w
Protip: I'm not going to cyber with you or send you nudes.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
any of the following apply to you:

you've got something nice to combust with me

you do music-y stuff and you'd like to try doing music-y stuff with me

You like fatties. Or mudkipz.

fat cock, fatter wallet?

dabs? dabs.

PS: I probably won't respond to you if you're in another state, unless you're willing and able to meet. I'm lazy.
PS: I don't drive. I bike. If you're more than a few miles away from me, you'll probably need a car.

fin.