(2) I've been in London 16 months - therefore, I'm not yet accustomed to London lingo, in other words, innit, bruv, fit, totes etc make little or no sense, innit?
(3) I have a tattoo or two - better to just put that out there, apparently they're permanent. I also have my nipples pierced (I just spoilt the surprise, dammit) but that's our little secret (at this point I hope you have picked up on certain sarcastic undertones)
(4) I don't have a beard - I see many ladies on here who are only looking for bearded males, have you tried growing a beard? It's itchy, it's scratchy and it's itchy
(5) Instruments - Can't play any, sorry. I do pull off animal mating calls pretty well though
If you don't live to wear 6 inches of makeup, do not pout like a fish and prefer the green jungle to the concrete one then I will really like you, please only message if you've been a female, since birth (ladyboys are on the prowl) as I can spot a faker from a mile away. Thank you