Hi, welcome to the delightful world of internet dating, chances are you won't read this, you'll just skim over my photos and hey, that's OK but if you do happen to read this (and I hope you can read, that would be rather nice) then you should probably know the following:

1 I'm from Africa - you know, that 'big island below Europe' where Adam and Eve met and yes there are vanilla people there and yes I do speak English and no I do not wear an animal-skin loin cloth over my groin on weekends (ok, maybe I do, for a nominal price of course, that was a joke)

2 I've been in London 10 months - therefore, I'm not yet accustomed to London lingo, in other words, innit, bruv, fitt, totes etc make little or no sense, innit?

3 I have a tattoo or two - better to just put that out there, apparently they're permanent

4 I love the outdoors, animals and nature in general - if you don't, then you've lost touch with your roots (excuse the pun), shame on you

5 I don't have a beard - I see many ladies on here who are only looking for bearded males, have you tried growing a beard? It's itchy, it's scratchy and in my case, a few different colours

6 Instruments - Can't play any, sorry, I'll have to serenade you with my vervet monkey mating call impersonations

My clicking ankle...
Accent...

Films - Searching For Sugar Man, Requiem For a Dream, Fight Club, Bang Bang Club, Django Unchained, 127 Hours, City of God, City of Men, Safety Not Guaranteed, Dead Man's shoes, Into The Wild, Jerusalema, A Scanner Darkly, Mr Nobody, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, RocknRolla, Memento, Donnie Darko, Moon, Stander, 'Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb' (or anything else by Kubrick), Tsotsi...

Music - Sixto Rodriguez, Bob Seger, Electric Guest, Cocorosie, Bonobo, Doomtree, Foals, Stevie Nicks, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, Pink Floyd, Billy Talent, Cat Stevens, The Kooks, Sufjan Stevens, Of Monsters and Men, Youth, The Verve, MGMT, Bombay Bicycle Club, Gus Gus, Sóley, The Temper Trap, Angus and Julia Stone, Veranda Panda, Metronomy, Dan Patlansky, Black Rebel Motorcycle club, The Cat Empire, The Shins, Blink 182, Box Car Racer, Plus 44, Rolling Stones, The Doors, Tracy Chapman (slightly depressing), The Animals, The Raconteurs, The Postal Service, Mr Hendrix, Bloc Party, The Rudimentals, Cream, Depeche Mode, Jose Gonzalez, Marianne Faithful, Supergrass, RHCP, Philip Glass - to name a few

The inspiration for my dance moves:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLv4I7WYS0I&feature=related

Family/friends (duh)
Coffee
Nature
Soundcloud (recent discovery, amazing)
My imagination
My vital organs, particularly my liver

http://htwins.net/scale2/?bordercolor=white
Things you should be thinking about

...

I think I have xenophilia...

You're not orange (self-tan overload)
You're a woman, since birth (It's the internet, 'ladyboys' are on the prowl, don't ask)
You like what you've seen/read
You wear less than 3 inches of makeup
You smell nice
You wanna go for coffee/tea/awkward moments in the park
You think my pheromones will like your pheromones
You have a profile photo, that would be nice
You resemble your profile pictures (that's even nicer)