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30 Benicia, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–98
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Aug 29
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly anything
Very often
Judaism, and somewhat serious about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My relationship with okcupid is that this is basically an electronic terrarium full of people, and I get to tap my finger on the glass.

This meant while going through things like quickmatch or people's profiles I could just hit 3 stars unless I thought their profile was right up there with the best things on the planet like transformers or rockets that break the sound barrier so I would hit 4 stars, maybe in the distant lizardly part of my mind pray for a conversation to spark but in general I would move on. However thanks to the more boolean approach this current iteration of OK Cupid has adopted, I either like you or not, and in general I like most people, so I am going to be hitting the like button a lot more. In the end it doesn't mean much, if that is annoying I am sorry, if that is relieving you're welcome.

On the subject of hitting the like button for other men:

I have entered this weird phase of social combativeness, where I fight society by going outside wearing pajamas and feeling sort of great about it. In general I am defined by an abnormal growth leading to a strange adult phase I half dread and half revel in. It is a weird world.


I am nail biting, nose picking, and acid drinking
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Giving okcupiders protips: The douchebags aren't going to read your profile so stop stunting its awesomeness by filling it with douchebag avoidence measures.

I go by many names:

DJ White phunk
aka fine-stein
aka That Fucking Abe Lincoln
aka Chunk N White
aka Silica Synthestra
aka The Doc MacMurder
aka Socratic Flabbius Sophisticus
aka White Phunk 2000
aka Jewseff Islam
aka AmishBeardTech

I am trying to write a comic book script.

Posting gaming clips nobody cares about:

Serially posting tweets informing the public how jesus feels about america.

Match indexing a lot, like, a lot a lot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Walking slowly, lackadaisically, meaninglessly without remorse. (well, now with some remorse)

Daring to be ugly in a mediocre world.

Being energy conservative.

Losing cool things that I like and getting sad about losing them, but then moving on .

Crying upon witnessing love and authenticity
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a hairy, neckbearded, fat, muthafucka who can't control the volume of his voice.

I look like hurley from Lost
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Look, let me get this out of the way. My favorite has, is, and always will be Robot jox. Yeah I know, low budget, simple, boring. I saw that thing when I was knee high and it had a fist powered by a rocket slamming into a giant robot's chest. I knew it was the one. Perhaps this would have been the catalyst to a career in robotics but I chose underachievement and the internet instead. But that movie is pure stop motion heaven for me.

How many unironic smiles occur in the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Absolute joy to watch.

from Dreamland: The way out of Juarez by Charles Bowden
"Reach for it, now snort or swallow or inject or light up or something, but for God's sakes reach for it, and don't ask what it is, no, no, no. Look in your purse or your wallet or your shirt pocket or your medicine chest. Or open up your heart and stare into the loneliness, train horn blowing after midnight and the bed is cold. The city lives under this appetite and on this appetite, lives because of the blues in faraway places, lives because after-hours lust in small towns and tired crossroads, lives on guns and death and money and nerves because the wide world craves an end to the emptiness..."

Janelle Monae is a fancy footwork beast of a vocalist.

Parliament and Funkadelic are music geniuses

La mort sur le Dancefloor!

Check out the proto men -Act II for a delicious music blender experience

Deniece williams makes for good bay staring music
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I would die without fakeberry products, music 25 years older than I am, loose clothing, circular frames and fancy hats (one thing), facial hair, and youtube clips of corgis.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I don''t mang, I don't know. Immediate transitive things? Reactionary needs? The completeness of death's destruction on my reality? Silly stuff.

Panpsychism - Check out this David CHalmers TED talk, infinitely more interesting than me.

How do you save someone from sadness? Is it possible? Or is it just an infection that can only be cured by the willingness of one's heart to be free?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
On the x-box.

Now featuring: "at work" and "playing 5th ed"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
it is surprising the joy I gain from seeing Burt Reynolds covered in petroleum jelly

Sometimes I chew my nails, and sometimes the nails split, and they pinch my tongue and i suddenly remember I remember I'm a grown ass man.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Listen, im not looking for anything, that "new friends" is real, but even then I have a lot of friends in the RL, so pen pal is really the type of friend I am looking for. Conversation sparring buddy. And maybe I suck at conversation on this medium, but that just means I need more sparring. I dont know what to think about this Iran nuclear policy thing, I think we just got ourselves into a place where every move is the wrong move. Wait that's life. These choose your own adventures are bullshit, who wrote this?!