Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

facetiousphelps

22 M Champaign, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:20pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
My name starts with two A's. I'll give you one guess.

I'm an open book with a few stuck pages. I like to trivialize and let the chips fall where they may. As I get older, I'm realizing that almost everything is interesting. At times, I wish my life was briefly threatened to keep me on my toes. Originally from Southern Illinois right outside St. Louis. Grew up in the suburban country but it didn't catch on.
What I’m doing with my life
Creating purpose in my limited accidental existence. Doing what sounds good, avoiding what sounds bad. Appreciating when I'm mistaken. Living for the moments that 'matter'. In the end, no one will remember anywhere you were or anything you said, but they just might remember the way you made them feel.

Almost finished with my master's in Computer Security at UIUC. I fight the cyber war on the government's tab. This means I'll probably end up in a metropolis on the East Coast with a dog and a boat.
I’m really good at
Radiating Heat, Growing a Beard, Car Karaoke, Learning New Tricks, Google-ing, The Penis Game, Playing Easy Songs on Guitar, Craps, Chopsticks, Ping Pong, Getting to the Point, Napping, Using My Hands to Catch Things

I've been told I'm very consistent and available. I can advocate an unpopular opinion. I apparently give good advice and at a wedding, several middle-aged women said I was a good dancer, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
The first things people usually notice about me
I make a crude entrance to conversations. I look older than my age. Face hair. I have trouble sitting still. Long eyelashes, long explanations.
The six things I could never do without
Companionship
The Ability to Speak Freely
Condiments
A Beard Trimmer
A Computer (Video Games, Music, Reddit)
Lazy Sundays
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The human psychological attraction to religion. The irony of hordes of alien species that most likely exist and the impossibility of ever meeting them. Why love has Darwinian benefit. How my body contains almost none of the molecules I was born with but I've never not felt like me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Pregaming and singing like an idiot in my apartment with close friends. Lights, Laughs, Fog, Dancing, Drinks. Drunk Cigarettes. Drunk Food. Learning a new song on guitar and then forgetting it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I finished the "complete your profile" progress bar on the okcupid sidebar because I like meaningless achievements. And... I sorta... accidentally tasted my own pee once.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–24
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're a girl and you've never at any point in your life been a boy.
You can have fun even if there's nothing to do and plenty of places to do it.
Say "Beards are cool." If you smiled.
Especially if you're a redhead.
You want to message me and you're hesitating.