Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

facetiousphelps

23 Cambridge, MA Man

Man

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:20am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Technology
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name starts with two A's. I'll give you one guess.

I used to live in St. Louis but now I don't.

I'm clever and sincere and don't currently suffer from a crippling drug addiction. But I want to. For the comeback story. Wait, was there more you wanted me to say?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Creating purpose in my limited accidental existence. Doing what sounds good, avoiding what sounds bad. Appreciating when I'm mistaken. Learning a new city. Forgetting names and places in lieu of the feelings they leave.

I learned to make computers do funny things and they gave me a master's degree for it. Think of any time you've heard the word 'cyber'. I'm paid by the government to say that word a lot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being Warm, Beard Trimming, Car Karaoke, Learning New Tricks, Google-ing, The Penis Game, Playing Easy Songs on Guitar, Craps, Chopsticks, Ping Pong, Getting to the Point, Napping, Using My Hands to Catch Things

I've been told I'm very consistent and available. I can advocate an unpopular opinion. I apparently give good advice and at a wedding, several middle-aged women said I was a good dancer, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I sometimes make aggressive entrances to conversations. I look older than my age. Face hair. I have trouble sitting still. Long eyelashes, long explanations.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Companionship
The Ability to Speak Freely
Condiments
A Beard Trimmer
A Computer (Video Games, Music, Reddit)
Lazy Sundays
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The human psychological attraction to religion. The hordes of alien species that most likely exist and the impossibility of ever meeting them. Why love has Darwinian benefit. How my body contains almost none of the molecules I was born with and what that means to my sense of self.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Pregaming and singing like an idiot in my apartment with close friends. Lights, Laughs, Fog, Dancing, Drinks. Drunk Cigarettes. Drunk Food. Learning a new song on guitar and then forgetting it. Sippin whiskey and movin meeples.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I finished the "complete your profile" progress bar on the okcupid sidebar because I like meaningless achievements. And... I sorta... accidentally tasted my own pee once.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're a girl.
You're not a boy.
You can have fun even if there's nothing to do and plenty of places to do it.
Say "Beards" out loud. If you smiled.
Especially if you're a redhead.
You want to message me and you're hesitating.