Massive amounts of my mind are devoted to remembering every single tidbit from QI and every result of every Mythbusters experiment. Therefore, it will take me a bit of time and reminding to remember your name. I'm sure the facts that I smoke weed and am a space case don't help. I make some pretty good French bread, interesting chocolate chip cookies, tasty shepherd's pie, and the best chess pie you'll ever taste. I have a page on YouTube (user/missusmadness) where I sing, ramble, and give sex talks. Check me out!

I have had an awful case of wanderlust for the past few years, so I don't think I'll be happy until I am totally free to go anywhere I want. I love big cities, and I'll be in Paris starting September 2009. I don't know a thing about music except for what I like, and if you want to go off on a music theory rant, I'll make a jack-off motion at you. I guess that applies to any rants, though, except maybe Oscar Wilde. I will never make jack-off motions at you if you rave about Oscar Wilde. I tell the most ridiculous lies disguised as tidbits of knowledge (Like you know how Kirsten Dunst and Brad Pitt are actually distant cousins or how Beethoven perfected the design of the modern upright piano?), and I may very well speak exclusively French if I get too drunk. I've started keeping a dream diary because my dreams are so absolutely loony and who knows, it might turn into a movie plot or something.

I will correct you if you improperly use "it's/its", "your/you're", or any other major language issues, but only rudely if you're a native English speaker. You guys know better than that.

I'm currently a French major and generic sophomore at a teeninsy liberal arts school, and I'm planning on teaching. However, that's as far as the concreteness goes. I might get my master's and teach French at some prestigious high school in New England, I might get my doctorate and go to a university out west (because lord knows French professors are in demand out west), maybe I'll go to France or Quebec and teach English as a second language, maybe I'll go all Kerouac and become a . . . travelling French poet? Maybe I'll just become a mermaid and speak Mer-French to the fish.

I can create adventures in places that would normally be rather boring, a skill I learned after living for 18 years in rural Georgia. I can knit fairly intricate patterns, and I can crochet. Sort of. I am excellent at making awkward situations and at having insane comebacks in Beirut (you do call it Beirut, don't you?) I can roll passable cigarettes (however, I can't smoke pure tobacco cigarettes, especially hand-rolled ones; they make me feel so ill), and I can hold entire conversations using nothing but Oscar Wilde quotes. I am really bad at charcoal drawings and at staying healthy for long periods of time.

I'm rather tall (5'11 and 1/8; the 1/8" makes all the difference), and I have blonde hair (bottled, though I was a natural blonde until I was about 17) that I compulsively cut all the time. I've also been told that I look very innocent. I'm not. Look at my "the most private bullshit" part for more details about my kinky self.

If it's TL;DR, I like classic books, off-kilter movies, alternative girlie music, and . . . every food ever.

Books go: The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Bell Jar, The Scarlet Letter, The Harry Potter series (especially Prisoner of Azkaban and Half-Blood Prince), The Series of Unfortunate Events, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Dave Barry's Guide to Guys, Tourist Season, The Hobbit, Return of the Native, Le Petit Prince, 1984, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, A Million Little Pieces, Lady Chatterly's Lover. I am always up for suggestions of good literary staples.

Movies and TV go: Lost, Greg the Bunny, Johnny Quest, The Mighty Boosh, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, The IT Crowd, Flight of the Conchords, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, QI, Breakfast on Pluto, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, This is Spinal Tap, Young Frankenstein, Waiting for Guffman, The Shawshank Redemption, Dr. No, The Departed, Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain, Closer, Les Choristes, Apocalypse Now, Pulp Fiction, A Clockwork Orange, Love Actually, The Emperor's New Groove, The Royal Tenenbaums, Quills, Rushmore, Natural Born Killers

Music goes: Amanda Palmer, Architecture in Helsinki, The B-52's, The Beatles, Bob Marley, Cold War Kids, David Bowie (up to maybe "Let's Dance"), The Decemberists, Devendra Banhart, The Dresden Dolls, Dog Traders, Françoise Hardy, The Fratellis, John Lennon, Laura Marling, The Lonely Island, Mark Mothersbaugh, Mother Mother, OK Go, Panic at the Disco, Peter Bjorn and John, Pink Floyd, Queen, Regina Spektor, The Rolling Stones, Seu Jorge, Sophe Lux, St. Vincent, Vampire Weekend, The White Stripes, Zero 7, The Zombies, and many more. This week, I can't stop listening to "Ocarina of Rhyme," which is a mashup of rap and Zelda music. If you're an N64 nerd like me, go download that shit.

Food goes: Ramen with soy sauce and tobasco, steak, big swimps, most pasta dishes, craisins, dried apricots, peanut M&Ms, wint-o-green lifesavers, tuna or salmon sushi, and good bread. Oh, god, bread!

hot tea, my laptop (it's my child), painfully hot showers, pashmina-type scarves, an outlet for creative/intellectual expression, and the Hitachi magic wand.

Well, I don't know. What do you think about?

Now that I'm at home for the summer, probably cooking at home or working. When I'm in school, I'm drinking good red wine, mediocre vodka, or shitty beer, though baseband and janeygoodall have been helping me out as far as the shitty beer and mediocre vodka go, respectively. Yay, 21+ friends! I might be smoking, partying downtown, sleeping, reading, watching movies with friends, or playing the Sims 2. I'm kind of cool, I promise!

Sometimes, when I freestyle, I . . . lose confidence.

Also, I've come to terms with the fact that I can never be in a fully satisfactory sexual relationship unless there are elements of s&m involved, so kink is definitely appreciated. I'm a hard (well, compared to the general public) masochist and can be kind of submissive in the bedroom. If you are intrigued and want a full laundry list of what I'm into, check out my profile on CollarMe.com, where my name is folie.

I dunno, message me if you like. I like new friends, including the sort that can turn into something more than a friend.

Age *is* but a number, but if you're twice my age or older, I will be quite tentative with you. Also please don't message me if you're just looking for random ass, because we can both go to a bar and find that, and if you couldn't, then why would I want to sleep with you? Also also, and I cannot emphasize this enough, write to me using proper grammar and good English. Preferably good French, too, but I honestly won't pick up on a lot of French grammar mistakes. Bad English from native English speakers is my BIGGEST peeve.

If you aren't in a gang and throw up gang signs, I won't respond, as a rule. If you are in a gang and throw up gang signs, I will prolly respond, but I will be scared. Regardless of your gang status, if you throw up gang sines, I will probably want to marry you.