Never date a girl with a hook for a hand.
Never pass up a free sample.
Never pet a chicken.
If it’s yellow, flush it down, too.
Never spell check.
Never trust a dude with hair past his shoulders.
Never delete “Total Recall” from your DVR.
Never meet a girl for lunch.
Never repeat yourself.
Don’t say the same thing twice.
The longer the line, the better the food.
If you pay your taxes before a court mandates that you do, you’ve paid too soon.
Never order a “small” beer.
Black tie is never optional.
If someone yells “Duck!” then duck.