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29 Philadelphia, PA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 27–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 9:06pm
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body type
Full figured
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Tagalog (Okay), Yiddish (Fluently), Ancient Greek (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
INFP, 2 on the Kinsey scale. I have a 5-year-old daughter whom I love more than life itself, but I'm not one of "those moms" who always talks about her kid constantly. I have 5 tattoos and fully intend to get a lot more. I'm passionate about the things I care about and believe in, but not to the point of being fanatical. I lean pretty far to the left politically but not so far that I'm falling over. I'm claustrophobic but only in my feet. I absolutely positively cannot touch, look at, listen to, or be within reaching distance of cotton balls. I watch tv with the captions on. I have a minor obsession with fran drescher, and I'm a childhood cancer survivor (teleangiectatic osteogenic sarcoma, for you medical nerds out there.)

There is hardly anything that would genuinely offend me (humor-wise.) Dave Chapelle, Jon Stewart, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, My sense of humor is crude and offensive. Ironically I'm having trouble being funny in this profile. Go figure. But I am funny, I swear.

I like to DISCUSS, which some people take as arguing, but it's not. I respect all (intelligent) opinions, but love playing devil's advocate, and that can sometimes make me come across as argumentative.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a preschool teacher, so I hang out with kids all day. It's pretty cool cuz I'm still very much a kid myself in a lot of ways. I find it interesting the way they think and the way they see the world. I spend the majority of my free time hanging out with my daughter, who is probably the most badass 5-year-old on the planet.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
being a mom. not to toot my own horn or anything, but i think i'm probably like, the greatest mother to ever live. true story. in general, i think i'm just pretty awesome with all kids. unless of course they're assholes, which some kids are.

multitasking while driving. i can seriously do just about anything behind the wheel. once, i loaded a pez dispenser on my way to work. i should have gotten a freaking medal for that shit.

i suck at lying, but i'm awesome at spinning the truth in just the right way, which is actually kind of better than being good at lying.

spelling and grammar. Pet peeves: "their/they're/there", "to/two/too", "your/you're", or, god forbid, "ARE/OUR" (not even homonyms!!!) Also, it's "should HAVE", not "should OF." Consider yourself schooled.

Somehow, I am able to climb into a perfectly made bed, toss and turn all night, without messing it up. When I wake up and get out of bed in the morning, the bed is still pretty much the way it was before I got in. I don't know how I do this, but it perplexes me that other people can't.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
had to change this one! hot damn, seems like every single message i get up in this jawn is about my eyes. not that i don't appreciate a sincere compliment, it just kinda loses it's "complimentary" factor when you're hearing/reading it for the 147th time. besides the eyes, i'd say the fact that i'm a redhead, and i get a lot of compliments on my tattoos when i'm wearing clothing that shows them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
BOOKS: i love classic literature, stuff like the divine comedy, canterbury tales, etc... i am currently reading my 5 year old the original "Peter Pan" by J.M Barrie (NOT W. Disney), the original Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne (NOT W. Disney), and The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (incidentally, The Little Prince holds my most honest and real philosophies on life and the ways of the world.) the lovely bones, ROOM by emma donoghue, graphic novels, ANYTHING by neil gaiman but especially "Stardust" and "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch." If you have read this last book, and loved it, you just got about 10,000 bonus points. and david wong. i have been trying to read "house of leaves" by mark danielewski for YEARS but i simply CAN NOT get myself into it. if you have read it, help me! Flowers for Algernon, The God Delusion, and The Fault in our Stars (I'm a sucker for childhood cancer movies/books.) I got about 2 pages into "'50 Shades of Grey" and realized it was absolute horseshit. The writing is awful and it gives the BSDM community a bad rep altogether. I have seen all of the Hunger Games movies but really want to read the books too, so those are next on my list.

Movies: Gonna have to come back to this one... harry potter, trainspotting, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, wes anderson, waking life, wristcutters: a love story, cloverfield, the little mermaid, the charlie brown christmas movie, the south park movie, hedwig and the angry inch, nightmare before christmas, hocus pocus (CLASSIC!), who framed roger rabbit?, Hunger Games series. Just watched Maleficent and loved it. I also loved The Fault in Our Stars, even though admitting so is suicide for my reputation.

Shows: Recently really got into Archer. I had been avoiding it out of some misguided loyalty to Frisky Dingo and Sealab 2021, but now I feel like the other two were basically warm ups for the main act. Supernatural, Cosmos, LOST, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, The Walking Dead, Angel, Charmed, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I wish the title was true...), Once Upon A Time, Pretty Little Liars (I hate myself for that one), King of the Hill, The Simpsons, South Park, Adult Swim in general, Rocko's Modern Life, old school nickelodeon...

ironically, as much as i loathe tim and eric, i tend to get along famously with people who think they are hilarious. it's not that i "just don't get their humor", which has been suggested to me on several occasions. oh i get it. it's just not funny. but if you like them, then we would probably get along.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
let's see... i could go literal and pseudo-witty and say "water, sunlight, oxygen, food, shelter, clothing", or i could go sappy and sentimental and say "as long as i have my daughter, i dont need the other 5." either of those answers would be correct, but they're both pretty boring, and i don't think you came here to read boring profiles. so let's try to make this interesting, shall we?

1. My iphone/internet connection. i have a truly sick addiction.
2. a really good, decent vacuum cleaner. it totally grosses me out to think about the microscopic animals living in the carpet. That goes for bedsheets too, so clean bedsheets are always always ALWAYS a must.
3. Science/Knowledge/Learning. I may not be particularly gifted at science myself, but the way some people revere god and look to him with awe, that is how i view science. even the slightest, most seemingly minute scientific discovery makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and the neurons in my brain bounce around inside my skull like superballs.
4. Some kind of junk food hidden in the house. when i go grocery shopping, i do my best to steer clear of the cookie/potato chip/ice cream aisles, but i will usually allow myself to pick ONE sweet or salty junk food to hide in the cabinets where babygirl won't know it's there, and then eat it all clandestine like in the middle of the night or in the bathroom. motherhood is neat.
5. Old fashioned words and expressions, like "now you're cookin' with gas!" or "well bully for you!" also, as i have mentioned, i kinda have a thing for grammar. it borders on fetishist... oh baby, tell me a sentence that doesn't end in a preposition... ::panties drop::
6. Sex. I'm a human being. Humans are sexual creatures. It's part of our evolutionary, psychological, and physiological makeup to need sex. It ensures the survival of the species, and well, fuck. we've got way too many humans on earth as it is. it's just fun, okay? i don't need a reason. get off my back. (EDIT: Sex is fun, but it's even more fun when it's with someone you care about. I would much rather have sex with someone I had an emotional connection to than someone I just met in a bar a few hours ago. Do I really even need to point that out??)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why people do the things they do the way they do them. Human psychology. Medicine, art, history, lots of stuff.

science! new discoveries! water on the moon?? life on mars?? mapping the human genome?! wtf is the human genome?! who gives a shit, it's knowledge! the greatest quest of man! grab a fucking microscope, bitches!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
singing the national anthem at cockfights
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i never shave my legs. not because i'm a hippie, but because i don't have to. i do it MAYBE 2-3 times a year, and you would never know. I have also never plucked/waxed my eyebrows.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually DO have time for that.

If you think I'm truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

If you made it to the end of this profile and aren't thinking "damn, this bitch is long winded." i can be loquacious at times, sue me.