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28 F Norristown, PA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 2
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Full figured
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Tagalog (Okay), Yiddish (Fluently), Ancient Greek (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Disclaimer: While I AM open to the idea of a fwb relationship, it's not specifically what I am looking for. If it started out as fwb with the potential to turn into something else, that would be better, but honestly, even though there are biological needs that we all need fulfilled, at this point in my life, I feel I am more interested in a bf/gf type relationship, even a very casual one. OK... so now that that's out of the way...

INFP, 1.5-2ish on the Kinsey scale (I've been told.) I have a 3-year-old daughter. I have 4 tattoos and fully intend to get a lot more. I'm passionate about the things I care about and believe in, but not to the point of being fanatical. I lean pretty far to the left but not so far that I'm falling over. I'm claustrophobic but only in my feet. I absolutely positively cannot touch, look at, listen to, or be within reaching distance of cotton balls. I watch tv with the captions on. I have a minor obsession with fran drescher, and I'm a childhood cancer survivor (osteosarcoma, for you medical nerds out there.)

There is hardly anything that would genuinely offend me (humor-wise.) Jon Stewart, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, My sense of humor is crude and offensive to some. Ironically I'm having trouble being funny in this profile. Go figure. But I am funny, I swear.

I am a firm believer in "show respect to know respect." If you don't respect other people, they aren't going to respect you. Even if we ended up in a LTR, I would hope we could end things on a respectful term- the whole "you're a cool person, but we just aren't right for each other" thing.

I am extremely people pleasing, somewhat overly apologetic, but only when I really did something wrong. And if I really was wrong, I will be the first to admit it.

I like to DISCUSS, which some people take as arguing, but it's not. I respect all (intelligent) opinions, but love playing devil's advocate, and that can sometimes make me come across as argumentative for the sake of arguing, but it's more because I enjoy intelligent conversation. Some of my exes have said that talking to me is exhausting, but that was because they assumed I was arguing and they just wanted someone to tell them "yes dear, you're right" instead of making them think.

I'm putting this here so no one thinks i'm trying to hide anything. i'm a big girl. not quite "bbw", but i do jiggle when i exercise (which I do fairly regularly, but i'm not a fanatic about it.) If this is a problem for you, please don't bother contacting me. And please don't ask me to do the truffle shuffle, I'm not that coordinated.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently between full time jobs but work part time as an activities assistant at an assisted living facility (not exactly a nursing home but kinda...) It's pretty awesome, I get to play games, read and discuss current event topics, chit chat with some pretty interesting folks, go on "field trips", do cooking classes, or if there's downtime I can just sit and relax a little. Normally I'm a full time daycare/preschool teacher but I recently left that field due to A) making virtually no money, B) no benefits, and C) very little respect. As much as I loved the kids, I have to be able to support myself and my daughter. I FINALLY finished college and will have my diploma in January. It's just an associates in General Studies right now, but that's just a stepping stone to further education in my eyes. Oh, and taking care of babygirl is pretty time consuming, too.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
being a mom. not to toot my own horn or anything, but i think i'm probably like, the greatest mother to ever live. true story. in general, i think i'm just pretty awesome with all kids. unless of course they're assholes, which some kids are.

multitasking while driving. i can seriously do just about anything behind the wheel. once, i loaded a pez dispenser on my way to work. i should have gotten a freaking medal for that shit.

i suck at lying, but i'm awesome at spinning the truth in just the right way, which is actually kind of better than being good at lying.

spelling and grammar. Pet peeves: "their/they're/there", "to/two/too", "your/you're", or, god forbid, "ARE/OUR" (not even homonyms!!!) Also, it's "should HAVE", not "should OF." (i'm not really a bitch, i swear, lol. And yes i know i haven't used perfect grammar or punctuation in this profile, but it's mostly intentional...)

Somehow, I am able to climb into a perfectly made bed, toss and turn all night, without messing it up. When I wake up and get out of bed in the morning, the bed is still pretty much the way it was before I got in. I don't know how I do this, but it annoys me that other people can't, lol.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Red hair, green eyes, tattoos, probably my pain-in-the-ass attitude.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: i love classic literature, stuff like the divine comedy, canterbury tales, etc... i am currently reading my 3 year old the original "Peter Pan" by J.M Barrie (NOT W. Disney), the original Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne (NOT W. Disney), and The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (incidentally, The Little Prince holds my most honest and real philosophies on life and the ways of the world.) the lovely bones, ROOM by emma donoghue, graphic novels, ANYTHING by neil gaiman but especially Stardust and "Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch." If you have read this last book, and loved it, you just got about 10,000 bonus points. and david wong. i have been trying to read "house of leaves" by mark danielewski for YEARS but i simply CAN NOT get myself into it. if you have read it, help me!

Movies: Gonna have to come back to this one... harry potter, trainspotting, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, wes anderson, waking life, wristcutters: a love story, cloverfield, the little mermaid, the charlie brown christmas movie, the south park movie, hedwig and the angry inch, nightmare before christmas, hocus pocus (CLASSIC!), who framed roger rabbit?, am i seriously supposed to list every single movie that i like here?

Shows: Since deciding to just get netflix instead of cable, i have watched the entire series of "LOST" in approximately 3 weeks. Supernatural, The Walking Dead, Angel, Charmed, Scrubs, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, King of the Hill, The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy (and pretty much anything Seth McFarlane is involved in and I hate myself for it), Adult Swim in general, Rocko's Modern Life, old school nickelodeon... ironically, as much as i hate, detest, and loathe tim and eric, i tend to get along famously with people who think they are hilarious. it's not that i "just don't get their humor", which has been suggested to me on several occasions. oh i get it. it's just not funny. but if you like them, then we would probably get along. just don't mention them to me, lol. Also, due to netflix, i am just now starting to get into "Breaking Bad." i could have gone the rest of my life without seeing "Hal's" saggy ass.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
let's see... i could go literal and pseudo-witty and say "water, sunlight, oxygen, food, shelter, clothing", or i could go sappy and sentimental and say "as long as i have my daughter, i dont need the other 5." either of those answers would be correct, but they're both pretty boring, and i don't think you came here to read boring profiles. so let's try to make this interesting, shall we?

1. My iphone/internet connection. i have a truly sick addiction.
2. a really good, decent vacuum cleaner. it totally grosses me out to think about the microscopic animals living in the carpet. That goes for bedsheets too, so clean bedsheets are always always ALWAYS a must.
3. Science/Knowledge/Learning. I may not be particularly gifted at science myself, but the way some people revere god and look to him with awe, that is how i view science. even the slightest, most seemingly minute scientific discovery makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and the neurons in my brain bounce around inside my skull like superballs.
4. Some kind of junk food hidden in the house. when i go grocery shopping, i do my best to steer clear of the cookie/potato chip/ice cream aisles, but i will usually allow myself to pick ONE sweet or salty junk food to hide in the cabinets where babygirl won't know it's there, and then eat it all clandestine like in the middle of the night or in the bathroom. motherhood is neat.
5. Old fashioned words and expressions, like "now you're cookin' with gas!" or "well bully for you!" also, as i have mentioned, i kinda have a thing for grammar. it borders on fetishist... oh baby, tell me a sentence that doesn't end in a preposition... ::panties drop::
6. Sex. I'm a human being. Humans are sexual creatures. It's part of our evolutionary, psychological, and physiological makeup to need sex. It ensures the survival of the species, and well, fuck. we've got way too many humans on earth as it is. it's just fun, okay? i don't need a reason. get off my back.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why exactly didn't she have time for that?

Why people do the things they do the way they do them. Human psychology. Medicine, art, history, lots of stuff.

Internet memes and my apparent obsession with them. i guess they would be #7 above.

science! new discoveries! water on the moon?? life on mars?? using transparent animals to literally WATCH the pathways through which cancer metastasizes?? mapping the human genome?! wtf is the human genome?! who gives a shit, it's knowledge! the greatest quest of man! grab a fucking microscope, bitches!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
singing the national anthem at cockfights
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i never shave my legs. not because i'm a hippie, but because i don't have to. i do it MAYBE 2-3 times a year, and you would never know. I have also never plucked/waxed my eyebrows. I used to get made fun of for not having eyebrows (they're just so light and thin that it looks like I don't have any.) please, please, PLEASE... do NOT ask me "does the carpet match the drapes? har har har." it wasn't funny the first time i heard it, when i didnt even understand what it meant (at like, age 11), and it's STILL not funny today, 10,000,000x later. also, "firecrotch" is not an appropriate pet name.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You actually DO have time for that.

If you think I'm truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous. And you get this reference.

If you made it to the end of this profile and aren't thinking "damn, this bitch is long winded." i can be loquacious at times, sue me.

i know some sections of my profile may seem contradictory... i am honestly just looking to meet some cool people that i can have fun with, maybe even start a relationship with. i'm not just looking for sex or romance, i genuinely am interested in platonic friendship as well.