OkCupid | fantasy_carl / 32 / M / Atlanta, Georgia

My self-summary

My name is Carl. I am a human. I live at home with my 13 cats. Their names are Listless, Chasity Belt, Virus, Rabbit, Borat, Napoleonic, Dancer, Jiggles, Jesus, Athena, Aphrodite, Filbert,and Poltergeist. I only wear white underwear and collect urine samples frequently. I have a huge collection of celeb urine samples that I've bought off eBay.

I grew up in the red scare and believe that sputnik still circles the earth. I am looking for someone to come live with me in my fully stocked basement against the inevitable apocalypse. I currently have 758,000,028 can foods stocked in my basement, which I am still adding to constantly (this includes all the cat food for my 13 cats to eat for 700 years, I'm not lying. We are totally prepared). I am actively seeking a partner to help me continue the human race when the Mayan prophecies come to pass.

Please comment if interested.

I am carl, prepared, and a human

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What I’m doing with my life

I am currently in the process of finishing my video game. I have been working on it for 13 years. It is almost complete. I have to just add some more evil villains and a few more forest fires. I love my cats.

More importantly, I am almost complete with my life works. One book on the Apocalypse of the human race as well as my autobiography called "Simply Carl: My Life in the Post-Apocalyptic Feline World" (it explains in it why I am working so hard to preserve the feline race because I hold thee same beliefs that the ancient Egyptians observed).

For spare money (on account of the fact that my revenue is mostly scarce) I often donate to the sperm banks to ensure my seed continues to carry and sell my urine on eBay (for future generations to experience my genius and Nostradamus-like predictions). Well, not everybody finds my urine usable in this way, so I have supplemented my income and urine samples in a website called http://www.pretestedurine.com/. Please check it out, support my habit.

I am currently in the process of finishing my video game. I have been working on it for 13 years. It is almost complete. I have to just add some more evil villains and a few more forest fires. I love my cats.

More importantly, I am almost complete with my life works. One book on the Apocalypse of the human race as well as my autobiography called "Simply Carl: My Life in the Post-Apocalyptic Feline World" (it explains in it why I am working so hard to preserve the feline race because I hold thee same beliefs that the ancient Egyptians observed).

For spare money (on account of the fact that my revenue is mostly scarce) I often donate to the sperm banks to ensure my seed continues to carry and sell my urine on eBay (for future generations to experience my genius and Nostradamus-like predictions). Well, not everybody finds my urine usable in this way, so I have supplemented my income and urine samples in a website called http://www.pretestedurine.com/. Please check it out, support my habit.

I am currently in the process of finishing my video game. I have been working on it for 13 years. It is almost complete. I have to just add some more evil villains and a few more forest fires. I love my cats.

More importantly, I am almost complete with my life works. One book on the Apocalypse of the human race as well as my autobiography called "Simply Carl: My Life in the Post-Apocalyptic Feline World" (it explains in it why I am working so hard to preserve the feline race because I hold thee same beliefs that the ancient Egyptians observed).

For spare money (on account of the fact that my revenue is mostly scarce) I often donate to the sperm banks to ensure my seed continues to carry and sell my urine on eBay (for future generations to experience my genius and Nostradamus-like predictions). Well, not everybody finds my urine usable in this way, so I have supplemented my income and urine samples in a website called http://www.pretestedurine.com/. Please check it out, support my habit.

-urinating
-feeding and preserving cats
-preparing for an apocolypse
-identifying celeb urine (i can do this by sight, smell or taste alone)
-playing patty-cake with the neighbor girl.
-intercourse (solely for creating an heir to the fantasy carl dynasty)
-video game creation
-chatting online
-stockpiling weapons, food, and cats.

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The first things people usually notice about me

I don't leave my house often, so I have been told by online dates and chat-room frequenters that I smell deliciously like cats. I am hoping to meet and have a first in-person date so that you can tell me what you notice about me (besides my huge intellect and splendid brain). I am waiting to have my first female encounter. I hope that I can find someone here, as nothing else has worked. Hopefully I can find someone that shares the same world views as me. It gets lonely in here sometimes, thinking about the end times when no one else does.

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Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Irrelevant.

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The six things I could never do without

I cannot pick just six! That would be like a mother choosing betwixt her children!

1. Listless
2. Chasity belt
3. Virus
4. Rabbit
5. Borat
6. Napoleonic
7. Dancer
8. Jiggles
9. Jesus
10. Athena
11. Aphrodite
12. Filbert
13. Poltergeist

The order is irrelevant in preferences of my felines, but rather the order in which they came to me.

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I spend a lot of time thinking about

end times, feline reproduction, urine, feces, video game villains.

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On a typical Friday night I am

Playing with my cats. Ordering groceries offline to be delivered to me. Urinating into a cup for my upcoming weeks of urine sales. I play video games and stroke my kitties. Sometimes I play with Samantha, the neighbor girl, until dark.

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The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I've had sexual thoughts about only one of my cats. (Listless.)

Also I suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).