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fatalcumshot

26 M Mahopac, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:35pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, Other
Height
3′ 0″ (0.91m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Often
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Rather not say
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Dislikes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), C++ (Fluently), Korean (Fluently), Khmer (Fluently), Yiddish (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Since blackpeoplemeet.com didn't work out...

Yes, I realize my name is unappealing and if I could change it I would make it NotLikelyToSurvivePassionBlast.

I'm a guitarist and a computer scientist. I like cars, video games, art and cooking. I try to modify anything I can.

I'm not sure why there is an increasingly vast amount of men viewing my profile. I changed my orientation to bi so I could justify it but, no, I don't like men (just penis in my butt no homo) ((that's not true either))

I believe in abstinence before marriage. JUST KIDDING! I like barbecue ribs, but I'm a not big fan of the Tai Pei chinese food that comes in that little container that you microwave for five minutes. There is not enough chicken and rice in the box; clearly, it does not match what is pictured. Also, the sauce is a little off. I just had some and I regret it. I'll never make that mistake again. Actually, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. You might wanna give it a chance, but I don't recommend it.

I am human, alive, and warm-blooded
What I’m doing with my life
Never eating Tai Pei again. Eating everything else except: corndogs, Quarter Pounders (without cheese), Quarter Pounders (with cheese), lime jello with bacon bits, steak, Skittles, Sunny D, donuts, pretzel-flavored Goldfish, haggis, tacos, nachos, Caesar salads (with cheese), Caesar salads (without cheese), ravioli, Special K, Tums, metal, other humans, giraffes that stand on elephants in effort to reach the higher leaves, and hummus (with and without cheese).

Stuff. Thaaangs.
I’m really good at
Making a list of foods I'm not gonna eat

Making a list of foods I'm not gonna eat (without cheese)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- The Lord of The Rings. Any book without porcupines.

Movies-The Lord of the Rings. I hate 2 minute battle scenes because I feel the suspense gets wasted too quickly. I also don't like movies with porcupines them in them.

Music-I hate rappers who sing about porcupines.

Food-Tai Pei... and The Lord of the Rings
The six things I could never do without
1. Tai Pei.
2. Porcupine remover.
3. My Lord of the Rings cosplay outfit. (I like to dress up as the princess)
4. Roller skates.
5. Sperm whales
6. A tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, for eating and getting out of tight spaces.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
BOOBIES! lampshades, conversations, imagining im in an epic matrix style fight and winning but sometimes losing.
On a typical Friday night I am
thinking about what real naked girls look like and if they match what ive seen on the internet
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
-'I Need A Hero' comes on in your brain jukebox when doing something epic, yes this includes eating a life threatening burger or catching pokemon
-you're a nurse, I'm opposed to health insurance
-you can do backflips
-you're black or indian
-you're the Joker, I'm sorry for punching you when you tried to kill me, call me
-you play on steam
-you realize this profile is mostly sarcastic or if you relate to it on a serious level
-you have quick and and funny comebacks
-'you're lookin good enough for a poke'

-you express time in terms of songs e.g
me: "It took me 8 tool songs to get here."
you: "mid album or end album songs?"
me: "end album"
you: "Holy shit dude, you live further than I thought."
me: "yea man"
you: "so what do you wanna do"
me: "i dont care its up to you"
you: "hm"
...
you: "wanna go fuck around in walmart?"
me: "meh"
you: "uhhhh"
me: "actually im gonna go back home and pet my dog"
you: "you dont have a dog..."
me: "i meant cactus"
you: "you dont have that either..."
me: O_o
you: :I
me: "Im gonna go pet my cactus"

-and/or [insert any reason you want here]

-MILFS, MILFS, MILFS, MILFS, MILFS

You should NOT message me if:

-one of the main selling points about you is that 'you love to laugh'. Really? Because I thought you loved to cry.
-you wrote 'then it wouldn't be private' in your most private thing you are WILLING to admit
-you're 'X years young'
-you're shorter than 4 feet, if there was a biggest fear section here it would read: adults under 4 feet who chase you
-you have facial hair, herpes or a scrotum
-you have facial hair and herpes on your scrotum
-we are a 90%+ match, I answered my match questions in the worst possible way so that would make you a horrible person
-even 40% would make you pretty horrible but I can deal with it
-you're not ok with the fact that I only eat things with parents, parents who dearly loved their delicious offspring
-you're a crazy cat lady
-my inbox is full