Although I don't feel like I'm necessarily stable in knowing who I am right now (and really, who ever is?), this is what I've come up with...
I am not a geek. Or, more accurately, I'm the balding stuffy English professor in the tweed coat, not the hot Physics grad student with glasses. I'm pretty smart, and although I can understand and process Ideas really easily, my main interests don't lie in math and science.
Most of my friends talk about science, electronics, robotics, and engineering, The reason that I never make any contributions to the conversation is because while I have a passing interest in these subjects, support their importance, and like to hear the generalities about them and their new discoveries, my interests do not extend to the details. So sure, tell me about the Hadron Particle Accelerator (did I even get the name right?), but don't bother explaining to me the details of how it works. My eyes are going to glaze over. Instead, tell me about it and its general expected result and how cool that is and the significance, because chances are, I'm not paying enough attention outside of what you are telling me to draw any additional conclusions.
Balding Stuffy English Professor? Really? Ok, no. Maybe hot English Professor in a schoolgirl inspired outfit. If you actually want to have a conversation with me, it's best if you leave the hard and detailed sciences behind. My interests can be summed up into the categories of literature, characterization, nature, and cooking.
I want to hear the book you're reading or one that we've both read. We can discuss the plot points, characters, themes, symbolism, and what the author was trying to do. Although I've read some of the classics, I haven't read all of them or even most of them, and I find common modern literature, or what people are currently reading, to be more interesting than Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice anyway, since the themes that come up in modern literature say more about our current concerns than the novels of the past, unless you want to do a
comparison. Now that could be fun. Oops, damn it, getting off track.
I'm interested in people, so discussions about the psychology or sociology behind human behavior (ie, what makes people tick and tock), is really a good place to go. I don't know the vocabulary and I'm not an expert on these subjects, but I watch people all the time and like to discuss the reasons behind their behavior. I like to know why people are making the decisions they are making and what happened in their past that makes them think that way. I even want to know if it's a chemical in their brain and what the chemical is called, but
I'm more interested in what that chemical makes a specific person do than how it works in general. Include in this the factors in the world today or the factors in our near past that have lead up to a societal change, and you've got me hooked. I may disagree, but I'm hooked into the conversation and likely won't start playing Sudoku on my phone.
In the same vein, I want to hear about people's lives. Tell me about your vacation and yes, show me the slideshow. I want to know. I want to know about you, what makes you tick, why you make the decisions you do, who your pets are and why you named them that. Tell me!
I love nature. Rocks, streams, and mountains specifically, but also beaches and deserts on a more general level. I like natural science. For example, what makes a hurricane or tornado form or what causes lightning, or what causes this animal to act this way. In eighth grade, I loved Oceanography (and not just because i had a crush on my teacher), and I took it again in college because of that. Just, wow. Tides, winds, weather. I like to be out in nature (when its not too hot or too cold) and I like to learn about it and I like to discuss it. There's both science and emotion to an excursion into the natural world, and both have value.
And then there's cooking, which I love to do. Tell me about your favorite recipe or something that you'd like to try. I'd probably love to try it with you and I'd probably love to make it for you.
Obviously this isn't an all-inclusive list, and if I'm feeling particularly introverted on any particular day, then I may not open up anyway, but these are the general subjects that will pull me into a conversation, if you're so inclined.
I'm an expert on me, but don't really like to talk about my life or feelings. I wouldn't say I'm a private person, but I would say that I don't really like to talk about myself all that much. I don't want to talk about the minutiae of my daily life, unless something really interesting happened, and then I may even want to keep that to myself. I tend to process things slowly in the back of my mind and it can take me hours or even days to come to a conclusion on how I feel about something.
Generally, and there are obviously exceptions to this or no one would know anything about me, I don't really want to talk about my past, unless it's about the time after I got married. I don't really want to talk about my childhood, or how something makes me feel, or my submission, or my ideal relationship dynamic, or the specifics of my sex life. I'll write about them in livejournal and in chat sometimes, but I don't want to talk about how things relate to me personally.
I am polyamorous. I wasn't for awhile, but I am now. I have three partners. I love them all very very much.
I am a brat. But not a destructive one. When I toss the sugar packets at you, I'm just trying to make you pay attention to me. Also, I like you...
I am also a flirt. Did I mention that I LIKE you? But, for the most part, my flirting is all in fun and is not intended to lead anywhere.
I like to cuddle. This one is NEW! I used to hate to cuddle, and while I still can't really sleep touching someone or with someone too close to me, I do in fact enjoy sitting on the couch, laying against someone or having them lay against me. I like to be petted and lightly tickled. I like long hugs and being between people, as long as I'm not tense about something else, feeling threatened, having a flare-up, or... trying to sleep. ;) Touch me, rub my back, pet my hair, tickle my feet, lean against me or offer to let me lean against you. I'll likely take you up on it.
Confidence, for the first time ever, I have it. It took me a long time, down a bumpy painful road, but for the first time ever, I feel comfortable and confident in my own skin. I still have things
I'm working on, but that's fine and hopefully will never stop. I feel like I can say who I am, what I need, and what I'm interested in without apologizing for it. Finally. I guess it's never too late.
Whew! Jessie, you talk too much! Yeah, I know, at least in written form. Any questions, comments, or general observations? Message me. I'm looking for friends, not lovers.
Welcome to the new, ever-evolving me...
Now for some specifics...
- I'm married to a wonderful man, since 1999.
- I'm a bit introverted, but my new found confidence is in direct competition with that.
- I'm not a jealous person,
- I don't get easily emotionally involved in much of anything, and quite honestly, there's not a whole lot of stuff out there that I give a shit about. Sure, you can find stuff (animals, BDSM,civil liberties), and I'm ok at small talk and discussing unimportant things, but I don't have strong opinions on much of anything, except the base idea that people should pretty much be able to do what they wants as long as they aren't non-consensually hurting other people. I do like to shut up and listen though and would often prefer to do just that.
- I rant at other drivers out loud, for fun, because they can't hear me and I know it.
- I swear a lot.
- I have arthritis.
- I'm easily amused.
- I've cut my hair. It used to be below my ass. Now it's not. I'm growing it out again, though. Probably to just past my shoulders.
- I'm in a D/s relationship with my husband. I'm the 's'.
By trade, I'm a technical writer, but to be honest, my job is the thing that is the least important to me. My family and friends are loads more valued, while the job is just the way to pay the bills.
I've lived in Florida in the Tampa Bay area for most of my life, since I was 7. Before that, I lived in Michigan, and my father's family still inhabits that state.
For fun, I go to some science fiction conventions, DragonCon, NecronomiCon (in Tampa). I also like to travel, although I haven't been many places as of yet. I'm interested in both table top gaming and computer gaming. I play World of Warcraft most often.
I LOVE the Smoky Mountains and given a more northern location with more mountains, lakes, and tress, would probably spend a lot more time outdoors...
I am a redhead, smart, and nice