I'm back from the tropics, had fun, very tame fun, visited a lot of nice places and did some interesting things, bonded a little extra with my daughters and in general, enjoyed the week and a day.

I read a book that was on my daughter's reading list, but I skipped in my high school years, "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli. It is a novel about a commoner giving advice to a new Prince on how to rule his Kingdom using analogy through historical precedent. Why they give kids that type of thing to read in 10th grade amazes me. Got to admit, I liked it and can use some of the advice at work, but some of it conflicts with my current work ethic, like, the parts condoning murder and deceit. What is this world coming to when a boss can no longer cut off the head of a chicken to scare the monkeys? (Stole that line from Confucus.)

I pulled all the old cruiser tricks out of my hat like getting up at 6:30 am to lay out towels and personal items by the pool to reserve lounge chairs, (Machiavelli does condone this behavior, annexing territory by force then maintaining it with treaties with the neighboring chair hoarders taking turns overseeing the kingdom.) But, kingdoms like these cannot be maintained for long, eventually the day ends, and the chairs get put away. New strategies need to be developed daily as others new to the pool area protocols learn to get up early as well. Bribery, also condoned in The Prince, works well with the pool attendants if you approach them properly. It must be done early and consistently, as well as with stealth; there must be sufficient gain percieved by the pool guys on the ship or else, you will get nowhere with them. You also must not over reach your grasp, taking more chairs then you need or, large, muscular women speaking slavic languages will embarrass you into giving up territory almost immediately. Always know your kingdom, be good to your subjects, the kids sleeping late while you are sitting in a cold, wet, chair waiting for the sun to warm the decks as you sit reading high school classics, drinking too much coffee watching the latecomers get yelled at by their wives for not getting them good lounge chairs.

 While we, the early risers,  all sit, nodding to each other, overlooking our kingdom of chairs for the day, watching our children enjoy the fruits of our labors, feeling, like,..."The Prince" we truely are for just a little while.

I've decided that I need a vacation. I'm booked, with my daughters, on a cruise out of NYC next week. I know a lot of people think that cruises are boring, not cool, for old timers sitting by the pool or staring out over the ocean covered in a blanket snorting O2. 

But, after a day with my blanky and a few green bottles of the gas, I will be partying with the rest, kayaking and four wheeling in Turks, maybe deep sea fishing in the Bahamas, hitting the casinos, playing ships games, dancing till dawn after the mid-nite buffet,  probably making out with some ice sculpture, seriously breaking the cruise director's shoes when they try and get you to participate in some lame but usually fun if you will indulge, event, playing Bingo (yes, it is fun! and you win money! and if you see an attractive woman alone in the hall, you KNOW she is looking for something to do!), and meeting new interesting people, who are burned to a crisp from hanging out by the pool, as well. Seriously, I have been on over a dozen cruises, all have been great and not what most people think. I've never had a bad time (...well except that time in Mexico when I had to bribe this gold toothed federale to stay out of jail for ....ok, too much information...) or was bored.

At the least, you get to see many places without packing and unpacking, over and over, while your hotel moves to a new locale over-night! (Where else can you shoot  clays off the back of a boat and if you happen to hit a seagull, you get applause. One time it got so crazy, the shotgun guys were waiting for the golf guys to hit their balls off the stern and taking bets on who could blow up the most golf balls. That lasted about two minutes till ship's security was called gave us a tongue lashing while chuckling under their breath, and took away the toys for the rest of the cruise. (A lady who was way too tan and had hair that never moved even in 20 knot winds, snorting my leftover O2 ratted us out.)

Or climb a rock wall, then, when you get to the top, a cute waitess with a Mohita is staring down waiting for you. (Do they make virgin Mohitas and are they worth it? I'll stick with my diet coke, and I'll keep the waitress too..)

Sunsets at sea are magical. There is a green flash just as the sun disappears over the horizon, very had to catch, ( ok, I like nerdy things...and the sun burns little spots in your vision as you are staring trying to catch it...)

By the end of the cruise, when we pull into NYC harbor, I will be back under my blanky, passed out, re-connected to my O2, hopefully with a smile on my face.