Ambitious, but a face-palm type.

I'm a writer and performer, so...I write things - essays, scripts, sketches, stuff for websites, you name it, and I perform things. I wrote a one woman musical, and I have been lucky enough to perform it for the past year - it's the thing I'm most proud of, and I am taking it to the Fringe Festival this summer. I used to have a clip of the show up on here, but I took it down. I also perform on a musical house team at an improv theater.

I teach seventeen year olds how to kick ass on standardized tests, and I actually enjoy it a whole lot. I work really hard, but I love it. Then I go for a run in Prospect Park, or drink a good (or bad) glass of wine. I find the humor in everything (even...or especially? online dating), and my mission is to reveal truth through humor. I am LOVING the journey that I'm on. I love meeting new people, too. So let's meet in human form, yeah?

Freestyle rapping. I'm not kidding you. Making Sangria out of boxed wine. Rhyming. Using semicolons. Recognizing how my profile is grammatically incorrect. Remembering very insignificant details. Knowing the lyrics to pop songs from the 1990s and early 2000s. Figuring out alternate subway routes in times of MTA crisis!

That we've become friends. I get along with most people. I'm also incredibly expressive, and I frequently do this awkward dance. It's my signature thing.

Books - anything by David Sedaris or any other humorist/humor essayist. Classic satire. Essays. Anything by Oscar Wilde. Plays. I read McSweeney's a lot, The New Yorker, the Times...and New York magazine.

Movies - The Princess Bride, The Graduate, Wet Hot American Summer, Beauty and The Beast (it's my favorite Disney movie of all time), The Wizard of Oz, Reefer Madness (the musical, not the propaganda film...), Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Forgetting Sarah Marshall...many more.

TV - 30 Rock, The Office, Parks & Rec, How I Met Your Mother, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Modern Family, Portlandia, Episodes, Arrested Development. I'm nostalgic for the days of "Friends." I'LL ALSO ADMIT TO LIKING GIRLS.

Music - Probably everything, but not everything at the same time. I will listen to anything, but I am nostalgic for the 90s (i.e.: Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette), I really love anything with a piano (Ben Folds), and I do like working out to power pop.

Podcasts like Moth. I LOVE the storytelling scene. I guess this doesn't fit in anywhere here, but I'll put it in anyway.

Food - If I can eat it, I will probably love it, or at least try it. I LOVE exploring new foods. I like trying new beers and cocktails, too. I, however, am known to eat peanut butter and hummus out of their respective jars.

I drink whiskey. Neat.

1. Coffee
2. Writing
3. Theater/music/comedy (technically 3 things, but I decided to put it all together. Live artistic performance things, I suppose.)
4. Running sneakers
5. Good wine
6. My metro card

WHERE IS THE FROZEN BANANA STAND NEXT?!? I KEEP MISSING IT!

I'm always thinking about my next project, my current project, things that excite me, confuse me, or have affected me in some way. I'm often thinking about products, events, and ideas to satirize....and how some sentences can be hilarious when you remove the Oxford comma.

What is an activity partner? Is it just a polite, discreet way to say "casual sex?" or is it like, "let's go bowling together, but full disclosure: we're NOT friends, we're just activity partners, bowling buddies together. Okay? Now let's bowl."

Other things, too.

Improv things, home with a glass of wine, working on a project, out with friends, happy hour-ing in various neighborhoods (mojitos! Guacamole!), seeing a show - it varies. Tuesday nights are where it's really at for me, though.

One time I accidentally ate bird food, and I sometimes go to Whole Foods just for the samples. I guess that's not that private.

I have a very weird relationship with this site (this is not the first incarnation of my profile). It consistently proves to be its namesake - you know, it's not called "AMAZING CUPID!" or anything.

You're a good person and like good conversation. You're creative and funny, and you appreciate the arts. You can challenge me and we can match wits.

You want to get drinks outside now that it's getting nice out.