(Edited to add: My dance card's pretty full, so I don't actually log on here much anymore. Thanks for stopping by!)

I live to make other people's lives more surreal!

My hair is green today. Tomorrow it may be turquoise. Or violet. Or blue.

I read. Continually. I listen to music, also continually. My taste is wildly eclectic and may frighten the sheltered. Same with movies, although I watch them less than continually. (That would be a lot of multitasking.)

I write, I'm published, I'm trying desperately to make some sort of living from it. This has been somewhat less than brilliantly successful thus far, but I'm too stubborn to give up and get a McJob. I've just gotten certified as an interpersonal communications coach, which should bring in a few simoleons.

I like things. I'm amusing to talk to, provided you enjoy strange people, bizarre humor, and big words. I smell pretty good. I only scare small children sometimes. I am an ethical non-monogamist in a relationship with interregnum. There, that will undoubtedly scare off 3/4 of you.

I also travel a lot. A LOT. This means that I am frequently not in town.

I have decided that Conan (as in The Destroyer, not the TV personality) is my spirit animal.

Coaching. Writing. Dancing. Traveling. Reading. Cooking. Learning things. Being fabulous, nocturnal and pragmatic in equal quantities.

I have packed a lot of fun things into my life. I did this on purpose because I like it. Therefore I am much more likely to want you to come join me in doing fun things than to want to sit on your couch watching television.

Things. Stuff. Tasks. Solving all the world's problems. Alarming the mentally conservative. Ranting.

My friends universally have voted me Most Likely to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

I am the Cat Whisperer.

Pronouncing "Einstürzende Neubaten".

My chromatically advantaged hair, my clever commentary. Apparently, my eyes. My unbelievably fabulous footwear. Seriously, my boots aren't just fierce. They're *ferocious*.

I am strange, charmed, up, down, top and infrequently bottom. :)

I'm pretty sure that if you can pick a favorite, you haven't experienced enough of whatever it is.

Generally I like horror, police procedurals, sf/f, and comics. That covers the first two. Yes, I am a huge nerd.

Musically I lean toward things that go boom. Industrial music, EBM, oontz, whatever you like to call it. I am one of those dreary souls that actually likes a little bit of a lot of genres, though, so my playlists are as likely to contain Cake as :wumpscut:, with John Denver and Bjork immediately afterward. Or Eminem mashed up with the Bosstones.

Foods? I dislike Indian food, that's about it. Although it has been determined that chupacabra sushi is the ultimate aphrodisiac. In fact, take me to any restaurant that serves mythological creatures and you're *in*.

Also, sacred cows make the BEST cheeseburgers.

My vocabulary. A book. Music. Glasses or contacts. Dignity. The use of my limbs.

The other six things would be unsweetened iced tea, dancing, the company of people who do not suck, sex, my sense of enlightened self-interest, and travel.

World domination. And sex. And how the two fit together. I live in the intersection of that Venn diagram.

I have an efficiency fetish. Also a communication fetish. So I like to think of ways to combine the two to greatest effect.

Trying to convince people to go dancing with me. And usually failing. Plan B is generally a movie and dinner with friends or karaoke. (Oh, don't sneer. Karaoke is fun.)

Just so you know, the dancing in question is generally done at industrial clubs. I like other types, but that's my favorite. The people at goth clubs usually understand the concept of personal space - I don't get trod on by drunk, screeching asscacti or groped by meatheads in beer hats.

Meeting people makes me nervous. And my Marxist feminist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard. (Note: may not actually be Marxist.)

I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear other people's.

You want to get (insert beverage here) and sit around having strange conversations. Or go on a random road trip. Or attend a concert. Or whatever. Whatever's fine too.

If you have actually read all the words accompanying the brightly colored pictures above. No, really. ALL OF THEM. No, REALLY read them.

If you can handle my abovementioned fetishes for communication and efficiency.

If you have chromatophores. Seriously, how awesome would that be?