I'm going to copy this paragraph here at the top, because it seems to get missed or ignored a lot:

I'm not seeking boys, and am highly unlikely to respond to overtures from males via this venue. *IF* you make it clear that you are seeking a friendship and not sex, and our match score is over 80%, I may respond. (All of my real-life friends of both genders with okcupid profiles score over 80% match, so it's not a bad baseline.)

Now, back to our regularly scheduled profile:

I'm average/petite build with hourglass curves and pale skin. My hair is light brown, slightly wavy, and usually hip-length. I'm still told that I look younger than my age, though I suspect the gap is narrowing. I am an anti-fashionista; I go for classic styles and never compromise comfort for looks. I'm unmistakably femme but despise pastels and lace. I don't do piercings, tattoos, nail polish, or hair chemicals (but that doesn't mean I dislike them on other people).

I'm not overweight only by virtue of metabolic luck, because I don't get much exercise. I'm hopelessly non-athletic; I will actually flinch from balls. As a teenager, I developed kneecap alignment problems that soon made stairs and bicycles off-limits. Two years ago I had major surgery to try and correct this problem, but it failed to make much difference. I doubt I'd be 'sporty' in any case; I don't even like to watch sports unless, like figure skating, it doubles as art.

I'm also a foodie and not given to curbing my caloric intake, though my natural diet is more healthy than most. I eat low on the food chain: vegetarian plus seafood. Strangely, I seem to be losing my affinity for sweets as I get older. I have been a cocktail connoisseur as well but my body has begun strongly suggesting that I cut back on the alcohol. I have never smoked, and in fact hate to be near the stuff.

I was a total bookworm as a kid and read voraciously throughout my twenties. In recent years, my patience for less-than-excellent fiction writing has dwindled to almost nothing, so I only occasionally read novels for pleasure. I do read a lot of nonfiction. I'm far less exacting with movies, so find more entertainment there. Can't stand comedy television but love smartly-written series dramas. I enjoy board games and computer games, but my favorite social pastime is just plain old conversation, usually in a restaurant over dinner. (Did I mention I like food?) I've never been a nightclub sort of girl, and I prefer small parties -- large ones make me anxious unless I am already friendly with many of the attendees. I like some music, but unlike most people I know, don't need or want a constant soundtrack. I find silence comfortable. Conversely, however, I like to sing (and mercifully do not suck at it).

I tend to have a handful or two of close friends that I value immensely. I don't maintain superficial friendships or casual acquaintances beyond those required at work. I am impatient with small talk. People who aren't accustomed to opening up will often do so with me. I'm funnier in person, and I laugh a lot. I'm capable of unusually fast processing, both logically and emotionally. This gets me into trouble sometimes -- for example, it seems to make me an infuriating opponent in an argument.

I have an exacting sense of justice. I'm firmly agnostic, with a scientific outlook rather than a mystical one. Being a deeply emotional person, for a long time I was the very epitome of 'follow-your-heart.' From years of painful experience I determined that emotionally-based decisions are likely to be poor ones, so I'm much more cautious, deliberate, and logical in my choices now. I used to fall in love at the bat of an eyelash, but those days are well behind me. Now it seems that a strong friendship is a prerequisite for anything romantic.

I was badly abused as a child. Perhaps not coincidentally, I am clinically depressed (on antidepressants, likely for life), socially anxious, and highly sensitive. I left home at sixteen, and am long-estranged from my entire family-of-origin except my father's sister. Long-term friends affirm that I have become much more mellow and less anxious in recent years, but I will probably always be a little more emotionally intense than most.

Also not coincidentally, I have a difficult relationship with my own body: I carry it around because I must, and care for it as necessary, but it feels like an obligatory accessory rather than part of myself. I am often conflicted about receiving physical compliments; I'd rather be appreciated for my mind.

On the other hand, I adore deep massages. Really deep.

I'm bisexual, with a slight preference for women (about a Kinsey 4). My relationship history, however, is weighted towards men; I was in my late twenties before I felt brave enough to pursue romantic relationships with women, and I'm still more shy with them.

I've had a polyamorous outlook since my early teens, before there was a word for it ... in fact, even before I actually began having romantic relationships. I've never made a monogamous commitment, nor can I imagine doing so. After some fifteen years of high relationship turnover, I finally found one good and stable partner (ptotem). Next winter will mark nine years together, eight of them cohabitating. I've had a couple of other sweethearts during that time, but none for a few years now.

I don't have any specific relationship geometry in mind; I believe in taking things as they come. That said, however, I suspect that if I am to have another significant relationship at this point in my life, it will need to be one that intersects to a moderate degree with my existing one. I simply am too busy to maintain two wholly separate relationships. This doesn't mean you have to be romantically involved with my other partner, just willing to come over and have dinner with both of us and the kids, or hang out and talk to me while I do housework, or something. My partner and I don't have 'veto power' over each other's relationships, but the ability to be genuinely friendly with him is pretty important.

I am more romantic than sexual. I am alternately tender and playful. I'm not comfortable with pain, either inflicting or receiving. I have some experience with power play, but only within the context of a deep emotional connection.

I never wanted or intended to become a parent, but my partner came as a package deal. His two daughters (now ten and sixteen) live with us half of each week, so here I am, with eight years of (step)parenting under my belt. I'm much better at it than I feared I would be -- it was a relief to learn that no, I am not at risk for perpetuating the types of abuse that I endured -- yet I seem to lack some 'natural' instincts and responses, and I still struggle with some of the effects living with children has on my life.

I find enneagrams to be the most interesting and accurate personality typing system: I'm a Reformer/One, with side orders of Helper/Two and Challenger/Eight. Meyers-Briggs never works for me because I'm jumping rope with the lines -- introverted or extroverted depending upon circumstances, for example.

This is a work in progress.

(Been playing around with the questions, fascinated by the 'more this' and 'less that' appellations. They seem generally accurate, except somehow the algorithm insists that I am 'less artistic.' Um, hello?)

I spent my early adult life pursuing a series of intense passions, without a lot of care for stability or security. I moved across the country multiple times on a whim, started small businesses of various sorts, and so on. A couple of years ago a switch flipped somewhere, and I lost my tolerance for that level of financial uncertainty. (I had lost it with regard to relationships a few years before that.) So my partner and I closed up the current wildly idealistic business venture, returned to corporate employment, and in two years had paid off some $30K of personal debt, bought a house, and begun shoveling money into savings and retirement funds. I mention this as illustrative both of my current mindset and how thoroughly I pursue a goal once I am set upon it.

In the long run ... well, there are at least two novels that I need to write, if only because no one else will. In the short term, I have more flexible priorities. I'm basically satisfied with my career as a graphic designer, and still feel lucky that I can (usually) make a decent living at something I don't hate.

Writing. (I have a lot of personal essays under my belt, a small assortment of published sf and fantasy stories and poems, and two shelved novel projects that I'll pick up again someday. I'm strong on character development, lyrical prose, and emotional punch. Ptotem and I are also in the deep-plotting and worldbuilding stage of a fantasy trilogy collaboration.)

Design. (I'm a highly skilled graphic generalist, which seems to be increasingly rare.)

Cooking. (One of the things I completely missed out on learning as a kid. Fifteen years of practice and experimentation later I can reliably improvise with confidence.)

Teaching myself nearly anything. (See everything listed above. I've been the Queen of Research since at least second grade, and since the advent of the Internet have been unstoppable. I have a reputation for being encyclopedic; I only hope I manage not to be insufferable about it.)

Communication. (...)

Alternatively, I suck at:

Dancing. (My brain-to-body signal is weak; I can learn the steps eventually but it takes me five times as long as anyone else.)

Knitting. (The only thing I can remember trying to teach myself at which I failed miserably. Need tutor.)

The hip-length hair.

What, I haven't gone on long enough already? You need another six pages?

Okay, a couple favorites of each:

movies: A Fish Called Wanda, The Incredibles

books: the whole Song of Ice and Fire series, George R.R. Martin

television: House M.D., Firefly

music: Suzanne Vega, Moxy Fruvous

indie music: Datri Bean, Gaia Consort

food: Indian, Thai, Mexican

Friendship. A calm, safe place.

(still thinking)

Why people do what they do.

Take your pick of the above. /wry

You're female, local to the Seattle area (or moving soon), and think I might be friend or sweetie material.

I'm not seeking boys, and am highly unlikely to respond to overtures from males via this venue. *IF* you make it clear that you are seeking a friendship and not sex, and our match score is over 80%, I may respond. (All of my real-life friends of both genders with okcupid profiles score over 80% match, so it's not a bad baseline.)

In both friends and sweeties I look for good communication skills and unusually high self-awareness; empathy and gentleness and consideration. I'm partial to artists and geeks. And femininity.

Also, having finally achieved mature functionality, I look for it early in potential partners. I spent much of my twenties 'picking up strays' -- choosing partners who were intelligent but emotionally and logistically dysfunctional and needed someone to take care of them. Unsurprisingly, that always ended badly for everyone; I'm now wise to that pattern and actively avoid it. (Just to be clear: not all of my exes fit this description, but many did.)

Finally: dishonesty is a dealbreaker. I'm uncomfortable with secrecy, and absolutely refuse to be duplicitous. I understand that not everyone has the option to be out in her workplace, but if you're not at least willing to be completely honest within all of your romantic and sexual relationships, stop reading now and move along. 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' sets off all my alarms.