Hello, people of the internet. I'm Darren, and I am a self-proclaimed film geek. I also consider myself to be somewhat of a gamer. This is my lazy, first draft self-summary, and hopefully I will come up with something far superior in the near future.

Right now I've got a multi-step plan going on:
STEP 1: Get driver's license. I'm pretty damn close to finishing this one, I swear.
STEP 2: Find a job in the shitty economy that doesn't make me want to kill myself.
STEP 3: Make money.
STEP 4: Save money.
STEP 5: Use money to fund an education at the New York Film Academy in NYC.

As you can probably tell, this could take a while. No, WILL take a while. Fortunately, I've never been so excited for the prospects of my own education in my life. I'm really excited for this thing, and I don't care how crazy it is. I know if I don't at least try, I'll hate myself forever, live a life of regret, and later, die of cancer (if you get that reference, you are beyond amazing).

Well, I've had certain people tell me that I'm a good writer, but I've others tell me otherwise. To be fair though, those people were dicks. I don't know, though. I suppose I'm good at recommending things to people. I'm good at amassing an almost depressingly trivial knowledge of film. Just as depressing, if not more so, I am very good at "Rock Band" and "Guitar Hero". Make fun of me all you want, but I find those games to be a hell of a lot of fun, so I play them a lot. Skill is just a side effect at that point.

I don't know, you'd have to ask them. Usually, when I look in the mirror, it's that I should probably shave. Meh. Maybe tomorrow.

Okay, now we're talking.

BOOKS: I do enjoy a good comic book/graphic novel. If you really care about the distinction.... I don't. Some favorites - Watchmen (required, I think), V for Vendetta, Box Office Poison, Maus, The Walking Dead, Scott Pilgrim. I also really enjoyed reading some of the Marvel Civil War stuff from a few years back. As for "legitimate" literature, Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Lord of the Flies, Dawn, The Gum Thief, the works of John Hodgman.

MOVIES: I'd say the movies that I would say I identify most with, like if you wanted to know something about me by watching movies I had absolutely nothing to do with, WHICH IS A TOTALLY LEGITIMATE WAY OF GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE, I would say watch Rushmore, Adaptation, and Art School Confidential. Maybe a little King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters thrown in there too. Really though, I love all sorts of movies. If it's a shining example of it's genre, I will give it a chance. If you don't know what genre it is, I will absolutely give it a chance. If it's written by Charlie Kaufman, I will go out of my way to see it.

MUSIC: I'll just say that I think Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is the best album I've ever heard. I like most other folk stuff, as well as the occasional film score. Frequent plays on the iPod include Weezer, Arcade Fire, Laura Marling, Queens of the Stone Age, The Pixies, and Bob Dylan.

FOOD: I... I like food? I don't know, what am I supposed to say? I guess in the past few years I've become sort of enamored with sushi, but I also enjoy pizza and burgers and all that shit.

-A sense of humor. Life is depressing enough without being able to laugh at how depressing it is.

-People to talk to occasionally. Human interaction, while often nearly unbearably awkward, does tend to help put your personal experience in perspective.

-Technology. That's right, I'm a sad, little member of modern society. In literal terms, of course I could live without it. Oh, and to clear it up I suppose I should narrow it down to petty, materialistic electronics. Yeah, I'm a terrible human being. Sorry.

-Fictional violence. We all have primal, violent urges, whether we want to admit it or not. In the olden days, we satiated that with gladiatorial contests. Now, we have M-Rated video games and R-Rated films. Luckily, that's all fake. I'm not saying without fake violence I'd go postal or anything, but there is something satisfying about seeing Jason Statham hack off a guy's hand with a meat cleaver shouting "HOW FUCKIN' AWESOME WAS THAT?!"

-Lost. You know, the TV show. I've been sticking with it for way too long not to know what the hell it's leading towards.

-A sixth thing for this list.

It's sort of sad, but I really do spend a lot of time thinking about movies. Especially for about the first week after I've seen a particularly phenomenal one. I remember I got something like four hours of sleep the night after I saw Children of Men because I was so awestruck that I just couldn't shut my stupid brain up. Also sex. I can't help it, I'm human.

Hanging out with friends, possibly going to a movie, possibly hanging out and playing Magic. Yeah, that's right. What of it?

If not, then at home playing video games.

I've never been in a relationship. I guess I've just never really met any girls I've been particularly interested in, romantically. At least not single ones. I guess I just figured I'd never want to date anyone I didn't think I would really get along with. Hence my presence here.

You've made it this far.