and you know why? Because it feels f*cking great...
I try to be subtle about it. But its not always easy...I still get those funny looks, (and they turn me on even more).

I also cant help taking the piss out of the world & everyone in it, incl myself. I don't discriminate - everybody funny!....& now you're funny too!

I am merely sticking my tongue out at you!!

I used to love writing about myself. But honestly - who give a flying fuck! And if its not about trying to get attention then why make it so public? Why do we want to be noticed so badly?

Besides, there's a whole world outside.

You just need to take yourself OUT of your comfort zone & grow! Change is good if you can afford to. Taking yrself out of yr comfort zone can be doing anything tho - it might actually be worth it.

Nothing will make you feel more alive and appreciative!

Get over yourselves & laugh!!!

Everybody funny! Now you're funny too!

;-P

Silly tests... :-P






Personality Disorder Quiz
created with QuizFarm.comYou scored as Borderline

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing injury to their own body. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. Borderlines think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Histronic

50%

Obsessive-Compulsive

50%

Borderline

50%

Schizotypal.

40%

Schizoid

35%

Dependant

25%

Avoidant

25%

Antisocial

20%

Paranoid

20%

Narcissistic

20%

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

If a man doesn't know what he wants, he generally doesn't want what he's got.

I used to relate.

Yep! And thats all folks!

Chow-chow!

OK. I can't be arsed wring a journal, funny that as I used to LOVE writing about myself! (As most young morons do) But I felt like putting something in here for a change! (I guess thats becos I'm onto the red wine & bored). But now I realise that, I actually dont have much I want to share at this moment. So instead, Ive copied, cut & pasted this really OLD email I found. Its kinda funny, so I thought Id put it in here...


This is a very old email I found when I first moved to NZ. I'd been stuck in NZ for over 5 months doing nothing but waiting on our permanant resident visa's to arrive before we (my family) could get a job, any job. So I never went out much as we had no money...

This was after I managed to get work & then later on, a car....1st time in months & months I had a car to drive!:



The email:

THE FREEDOM!! Aw man!! I soooo missed driving!!! its been soo long! That was me for those saturdays - I just didnt come home till late. This last Saturday, I was feeling somewhat frustrated. Everyone was at work & I had work off. So I went for another journey to wherever. Hooked up with 2 very cool friends! A box of ciggies & a "good" box of red wine, Mr Blenheimer - lets just call him Blen. We landed up at Long Bay's reserve (- a good place to get properly aquatinted.) And guys! NZ is soo bloody scenic! Its just soo pretty here! Theres so much countryside - the land is so untouched. And theres no litter what-so-ever!! Its like going back in time to a prehistoric period (all the tree-ferns). Its still all wild here!

Abandon all sense-of-self & be swept away with the mountains, the waves crashing & the tall, beautiful trees. And, wouldnt you know it! Mr Blen, the ciggies & I got along so well!


Later: Picked up mom from work. Id suggested we go to a pub - on me. Mom keen, but only if I had ciggies - which I did. So off we go. Had a quartz of beer. Feeling rather tipsy now. Picked up bro from work & made him take us somewhere else! Bro not pleased! But he bought us each a cocktail (just to shut us up no doubt..) Got home & just passed out. Missed the rugby tho. I'd wanted to watch it (believe it or not). App. NZ kicked Oz's butt!! Hahaaa!! Hate the Ozzies man!! Go NZ!!! I still cant believe SA lost against NZ!! Whatthehell man!! Bloody hell!


Got a drunken call later that night from Tash who was asking me to save her from Brendon as hes "acting like a grown-up". She was at some pub….& not too happy. But I was feeling like shit (beer & wine DO NOT mix!!) So we left it. And I went back to sleep.


Um ya. Thats it really.

I have other news - like: Being a model for some major hair competition! I had a complete makeover for NOTHING!!! Someone gave me a number to call - so I did. This well-known hairdresser dude had seen me in the mall & thought I would make a good model for this comp. It was at the Carlton Hotel!! It was quite an event!! (Unfortunately we never won.) But who cares! I got a free haircolouring, haircut & a make-over for nothing!! And! Since I was his model - I get the next 2 hair cuts for free!! (This partic. hair salon is real expensive!!!) How cool is that man!!??

OK! Thats it!

Later ye all!!

RUTHLESS

"….CATCH YA ON THE FLIPSIDE…"

OH! U know whats funny!! The NZ govt is trying to tax the NZ farmers here on the cow-gas. The emissions the cows let-off help to destroy the ozone. App., the cows fart soo much its effecting the ozone! So the govt wants to use the new gas-tax to help with research that will produce better feeding for the cows so that they'll fart less! However: the farmers arent too happy with this as the tax is quite high!! How funny is that!!! Theres now a huge fight over this going on now…..hahaaa!! That kills me!

Later ye all!!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: Ruffus
Birthday: Sept
Birthplace: Welkom
Current Location: Auckland
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5.4
Right Handed or Left Handed: left handed
Your Heritage: European
The Shoes You Wore Today: none - its summer ffs
Your Weakness: chocolate, caramel & a guy's abs...grrr
Your Fears: being stuck in heaven where there are only born again christians! AAAHH!!!Thats my hell.
Your Perfect Pizza: Any pizza from Organic Pizza Restaurant in Newmarket - Yummmmm!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get my ass on a plane & go travelling abroad!! YEAH!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: ....it could've been worse....
Thoughts First Waking Up: Ow this sunburn!!
Your Best Physical Feature: My eyes, ass, lips & smile
Your Bedtime: Lurve my bed & my trusty pillow!!..
Your Most Missed Memory: Believing I could actually fly & that I was on the wrong planet - I believed that
Pepsi or Coke: COKE
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Either - not phased
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate mofu!
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappa
Do you Smoke: when wasted
Do you Swear: FUCK NO!!
Do you Sing: ...I try...:(
Do you Shower Daily: FUCK YES!
Have you Been in Love: huh
Do you want to go to College: done that!
Do you want to get Married: huh
Do you belive in yourself: YE-ES!! WEEeeee! The world's my oyster!!
Do you get Motion Sickness: NOPE!
Do you think you are Attractive: With make-up on...lol!
Are you a Health Freak: um...? No...
Do you get along with your Parents: Yep! :)
Do you like Thunderstorms: Luv em
Do you play an Instrument: used to - the piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: HAHAHAHAHAA! Fuck off!
In the past month have you Smoked: yes - only with the alcohole
In the past month have you been on Drugs: ..um?....hehehehehehheheheheee!!
In the past month have you gone on a Date: NO!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: not yet...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no
Ever been Drunk: HAHAHAHAHAA Fuck off!
Ever been called a Tease: yes
Ever been Beaten up: no
Ever Shoplifted: no
How do you want to Die: in extreme agony & very slowly...wtf??
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A nature conservationist & artist
What country would you most like to Visit: Kenya? Egypt..? Thailand? Hell - there are soo many!!

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue
Favourite Hair Color: pitch black
Short or Long Hair: depends on the person
Height: 6 ft + ?
Weight: medium
Best Clothing Style: laid back ??
Number of Drugs I have taken: jeezuz - I lost count! (not that many actually!)
Number of CDs I own: enuff - heaps!
Number of Piercings: all closed up, none
Number of Tattoos: none...yet!!! I WILL get tho!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: its in the past - the time is NOW! Get over it!!

Not enough hrs in the day dammit. Just not enough... Time flies because its busy! Sometimes I keep up....

G'nightal! Im pooped once again!

Chow-chow! ;)

Allison, this is very difficult to say, because I care so deeply about you. The moments we've shared together have been some of the happiest of my life. But I've given it a lot of thought lately, and I think we should fuck other people.

Now, please don't misunderstand: These past seven months with you have been incredible. Before I met you, I never dreamed I was capable of fucking somebody so much. For years, the only person I truly fucked was myself. But meeting you, it just totally opened up my legs. And I know I opened up yours, too.

But it just wouldn't be fair to either of us if we didn't find out who else is out there that we're capable of fucking. As much as it hurts to say, to commit myself to fucking any one person at this stage in my life would be to sell myself short. I want to see who else is out there to fuck. And you should, too. After all, we both have so much head to give.

Remember, we're both young. If, after some time away from each other, we feel certain that we want to spend the rest of our sex lives together, we can. For now, though, I think the smart thing to do is to fuck other people. We both need to learn about ourselves, to find out what types of people we enjoy making time with.

I'm sure this is painful for you. You probably feel as though you'll never fuck again. But Allison, you're a lot stronger than you realize. You'll fuck again, I promise. I can't say when or where or whom, but one day, when you least expect it, when it's the last thing on your mind, you'll meet someone and be fucked right off your feet. I believe magic is in store for you. You will fuck again, and you'll fuck hard.

I wish I could, but I just can't close myself off to new people and experiences. It's a big world out there, full of lots of incredible breasts. And I want to come across lots of them before I settle down with any one set. I want to expand my horizons. Only by leaving my zone of safety can I discover all the different types of people I enjoy fucking.

Please don't think that I'm dumping you. I'll always be there for you. As I move forward with my life, I'll always feel you close to me, no matter who else I fuck. Sharing my semen with you was one of the most wonderful experiences in my life. Every day, I thank my lucky stars to have had you. Especially over the kitchen sink in your parents' house. And in the tool shed. Definitely the tool shed.

No, regardless of what the future brings, I will never forget all the fucks we shared. Special, special fucks. There were times when it felt like our genitals were one. Like we had merged into a single being, body and face. And that's the sort of true fuck, Allison, that nothing can ever erase.

It was great fucking, and it was fucking great.

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