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flazzard

45 Citrus Heights, CA Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Men who like women
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Nov 23
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Okay), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello! I'm a suburban, middle aged housewife. Sorta. :)

Please see bullet point number 5 in heading number 9. Or maybe point number 6. Or something like that.

Current top-rated reader responses to my current profile "make-under (ie. message hall of fame)":

Best of: "Your profile read like a weird book that I couldn't put down. Wanted to see how it ended , but strangely didn't want it to end!"

"...(your profile) looks like it was made by a garbageman."

"... it has that sort of "burned out" patina to it."

"Just want ya to know your a cutie but a bit scary..."

"LMAO. .....you are one f _ _k _d up b _ t _ h, but I still think you're a cutie......in a twisted sorta way."

The most recent winner: "I'd say let's grab coffee, but I can already tell that you're a psycho-bitch from hell. Good luck in your search though."

And a sweet one: "The first 1/3 of your profile had me laughing. It's so important, I printed it out and laminated it :-P" :) :) :)

And one from the vault: "OMG! Your so fucked up I think it's love at first bite! I wanna bite ur left tit!"

lolol! :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am going to school to study counseling psychology, and I'm loving it! I commute from the Sacramento area to the bay area to do it. When I'm in the bay area, I'm going to school and playing with bay area family and friends. When I'm in the Sacramento area, I'm playing with my teens and local friends, and doing homework. Whooo!

My target clients would be eccentric hi-tech gazzillionaires and their stressed out spouses. However, I believe that *everyone* should have emotional support accessible to them.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing Iron Chef: Leftovers!

Singing in the right key. Trust me. :)

Moving rhythmically to music.

Analyzing the shit out of everything. Ask anyone who knows me. :)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
... are that I'm a total spaz.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Victorian Literature and the classics.

Movies: Funny stuff and costume stuff.

Shows: string quartets at bars/cafes, and wandering violinists.

Music: World beat stuff. Julie Andrews.

Food: Everything except stinky cheese and fishy fish. And durian.

Colors: Blue and silver. Way totally not beige.

Trees: Those fruit trees where each branch has a different varietal of fruit on each branch. That shit is indistinguishable from magic.

Totem animals: Giant squid, cuttlefish and seahorses (cause they're so cute!)

Prime numbers: 7 and 41. Shit. That last one wasn't a prime number. I like it anyway. Who made these questions, anyway?

UPDATE: A friend just mentioned to me that 41 *is* a prime number. I'm humbled.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My friends.
3. Dark roast coffee.
4. Red wine/chardonnay.
5. Shoes.
6. Weird stuff.
7. My "collection."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I analyze the shit out of everything, and my friends still love me.

Relationships. Ad nauseam.

How you can decant Franzia into a fancy wine bottle and most people won't know the difference...

... how too much harp music can be really irritating. I mean, you might expect that from something like bagpipes, but harps? However, trust me on this one. Or find out for yourself.

... whether or not skulls *really* make good chalices, or if it's all just hype.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either hanging out with my posse of raven-haired and otherwise-haired friends in the bay area, or hanging with the teens and Sac friends in the Sac area. Or commuting between the two locations.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My profile here is kinda weird.

I really need to rewrite this whole damn thing... I'll get to that any minute, I swear...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think that the best reasons to date are not resumes, or even how you're treated, but how you feel about yourself while in the relationship.