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45 • Palo Alto, CA • Woman
I’m looking for
- Ages 18–99
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last online
- Today – 8:30am
- 5′ 4″ (1.63m)
- Body type
- Mostly anything
- Agnosticism, and laughing about it
- Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
- Graduated from university
- Has kids
- Has dogs and has cats
- English, Spanish (Okay), French (Poorly)
Hello! I'm a suburban, middle aged housewife. Sorta. :)
Please see bullet point number 5 in heading number 9. Or maybe point number 6. Or something like that.
Current top-rated reader responses to my current profile "make-under (ie. message hall of fame)":
Best of: "Your profile read like a weird book that I couldn't put down. Wanted to see how it ended , but strangely didn't want it to end!"
"...(your profile) looks like it was made by a garbageman."
"... it has that sort of "burned out" patina to it."
"Just want ya to know your a cutie but a bit scary..."
"LMAO. .....you are one f _ _k _d up b _ t _ h, but I still think you're a cutie......in a twisted sorta way."
The most recent winner: "I'd say let's grab coffee, but I can already tell that you're a psycho-bitch from hell. Good luck in your search though."
And a sweet one: "The first 1/3 of your profile had me laughing. It's so important, I printed it out and laminated it :-P" :) :) :)
And one from the vault: "OMG! Your so fucked up I think it's love at first bite! I wanna bite ur left tit!"
"SNED NUDES" --- the funniest OKC user on the planet... Oh, manure!! Now I want to change my Okc profile name to "snednudes"!!!!!!
My target clients would be eccentric hi-tech gazzillionaires and their stressed out spouses. However, I believe that *everyone* should have emotional support accessible to them.
Singing in the right key. Trust me. :)
Moving rhythmically to music.
Analyzing the shit out of everything. Ask anyone who knows me. :)
Movies: Funny stuff and costume stuff.
Shows: string quartets at bars/cafes, and wandering violinists.
Music: World beat stuff. Julie Andrews.
Food: Everything except stinky cheese and fishy fish. And durian.
Colors: Blue and silver. Way totally not beige.
Trees: Those fruit trees where each branch has a different varietal of fruit on each branch. That shit is indistinguishable from magic.
Totem animals: Giant squid, cuttlefish and seahorses (cause they're so cute!)
Prime numbers: 7 and 41. Shit. That last one wasn't a prime number. I like it anyway. Who made these questions, anyway?
UPDATE: A friend just mentioned to me that 41 *is* a prime number. I'm humbled.
3. Dark roast coffee.
4. Red wine/chardonnay.
6. Weird stuff.
7. My "collection."
Relationships. Ad nauseam.
How you can decant Franzia into a fancy wine bottle and most people won't know the difference...
... how too much harp music can be really irritating. I mean, you might expect that from something like bagpipes, but harps? However, trust me on this one. Or find out for yourself. The jury is still out on handbells... they're on probation.
... whether or not skulls *really* make good chalices, or if it's all just hype.
... how whether or not someone asks you, "Do you like NPR?" is just about the most specific psych eval question there is out there
I really need to rewrite this whole damn thing... I'll get to that any minute, I swear...
"Sned nudes" are the two funniest words on the planet, when placed in that order, with that spelling
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