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flazzard

45 F Citrus Heights, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:10pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Okay), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Hello! I'm a suburban, middle aged housewife. Sorta. :)

Please see bullet point number 5 in heading number 9. Or maybe point number 6. Or something like that.

Current top-rated reader responses to my current profile "make-under:"

"...(your profile) looks like it was made by a garbageman."

"... it has that sort of "burned out" patina to it."

"Just want ya to know your a cutie but a bit scary..."

"LMAO. .....you are one f _ _k _d up b _ t _ h, but I still think you're a cutie......in a twisted sorta way."

The most recent winner: "I'd say let's grab coffee, but I can already tell that you're a psycho-bitch from hell. Good luck in your search though."

lolol! :)
What I’m doing with my life
I am going to school to study counseling psychology, and I'm loving it! I commute from the Sacramento area to the bay area to do it. When I'm in the bay area, I'm going to school and playing with bay area family and friends. When I'm in the Sacramento area, I'm playing with my teens and local friends, and doing homework. Whooo!

My target clients would be eccentric hi-tech gazzillionaires and their stressed out spouses. However, I believe that *everyone* should have emotional support accessible to them.
I’m really good at
Playing Iron Chef: Leftovers!

Singing in the right key. Trust me. :)

Moving rhythmically to music.

Analyzing the shit out of everything. Ask anyone who knows me. :)

That game where you move little jewels around and they crash into each other and explode and give you tons of points. I like the foley.
The first things people usually notice about me
... are that I'm a total spaz.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Victorian Literature and the classics.

Movies: Funny stuff and costume stuff.

Shows: string quartets at bars/cafes, and wandering violinists.

Music: World beat stuff. Julie Andrews.

Food: Everything except stinky cheese and fishy fish. And durian.

Colors: Blue and silver. Way totally not beige.

Trees: Those fruit trees where each branch has a different varietal of fruit on each branch. That shit is indistinguishable from magic.

Totem animals: Giant squid, cuttlefish and seahorses (cause they're so cute!)

Prime numbers: 7 and 41. Shit. That last one wasn't a prime number. I like it anyway. Who made these questions, anyway?

UPDATE: A friend just mentioned to me that 41 *is* a prime number. I'm humbled.
The six things I could never do without
1. My friends.
3. Dark roast coffee.
4. Red wine/chardonnay.
5. Shoes.
6. Weird stuff.
7. My "collection."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I analyze the shit out of everything, and my friends still love me.

Relationships. Ad nauseam.

How you can decant Franzia into a fancy wine bottle and most people won't know the difference...
On a typical Friday night I am
Either hanging out with my posse of raven-haired and otherwise-haired friends in the bay area, or hanging with the teens and Sac friends in the Sac area.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It's not a private thing. It's private things:

1. See the caption of my profile photo.
2. Contrary to appearance (see profile photo) my eyes are not, in fact, sunglasses. They are blue-green.
3. The cocktail I'm drinking in my profile photo is *not* a martini, even though it's in a martini glass. I don't care for martinis. It's a bloody Mary. I love those. I like the name, and the flavor.
4. The garnishes in my beverage are: a. green olives and b. cocktail weenies that have had raw spaghetti shoved through them and then been cooked, so it looks like a weird monster thing. We call them "hairy wieners." The name of the drink is "A Hairy Wiener in a Bloody Mary."
5. For a more accurate representation of what my head looks like, look at the non profile photo posted here.
6. If you think I'm here to "help you out" with your boner/whatnot... my temptation is to shove raw spaghetti through *your* cocktail weenie. I don't ask you to help me out by paying my rent. Think about what you're asking for.
7. I think they really need an "other" for relationship status.

Also... is it wrong that I sometimes wanna edit/update my profile when I'm procrastinating doing my homework? Focus, Flazz!!!!!!!

This might be my favorite section of OKC profiles. It's so meta.

In addition to "favorite food, movie, blah blah..." they should have favorite color/tree/totem animal/prime number... just sayin'

I secretly like saying, "I secretly..."

Vanilla is the new spumoni.

My profile is getting sillier and sillier.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You think that the best reasons to date are not resumes, or even how you're treated, but how you feel about yourself while in the relationship.