I'm a curious, grounded, comma-utilizing, analytical, and endearingly awkward bloke. My best friend described me as a pretentious environmental economist. I have a wry sense of humor that probably comes on slow because deadpan is my jam.

I'm sort of like serious and ridiculous jumbled together.

I moved to Portland a few years ago and am taking some gap years to enjoy life. I'm stuffing just enough money in my mattress so that I can do something new at the drop of a hat, whatever and whenever that may be. I battle the continued complacency of being underemployed in a job with benefits.

I enjoy coffee, happy hours, analyzing my surroundings, undermining my friends, having slow mornings, lampooning bureaucracy, planning to have no plans, riding my bike, playing games, deep couches, reading glasses, ping-pong, playing ultimate frisbee poorly, rationalizing the irrational, drinking cheap wine from the bottle, snowboarding, sleeping in busy spaces, and the occasional David Guetta dance partay.

I enjoy dorking out about things more than most people (apparently it's dorky to say words like "vector" in everyday talk, who knew?), but I grew up athletic and competitive. This, and having a liberal arts degree essentially makes me alright at everything but a master at nothing. A Reddit first world problem also sums me up well: I'm too nerdy to date normal girls and too normal to date nerdy girls. Fantastic.

It needs to be noted that I was forced to opt into a "man covenant" in September before I knew what I was actually consenting to. Unless something drastic happens, I guess I can't cut my hair for a year. I'm halfway there and I don't look homeless quite yet... This shouldn't be used to judge how great my friends actually are.

Strategizing , having a jittery leg, esprit de l'escalier, being a policy wonk, crushing you in board games, naturally being pretty good at all sports, snarking ridiculous things, and finding irony (it's well documented that girls on this website are condescending towards men who "are ironic." Piss off.). I've been called a sandbaggin' son of a bitch more than I can count (which is only to 19).

Probably my smile; it's genuine and I can't fake it to save my life. A tell-tale indicator I like what I'm doing or seeing.

I eat just about everything except sushi. I don't and will never understand. I love going out, it tastes better and also masks my ineptitude in the kitchen.

I tend to associate reading with learning, that's probably not the only reason I stick to non-fiction though.

I have music playing whenever possible, it tends to be punk, indie, alternative, or metal (maybe this could all be summed up as white people holding guitars?). As of late, I've settled on a sustainable balance between Kanye West and Arcade Fire, with a sprinking of the Shins and acid jazz in between. I'm tolerant of everything, but the lyrical zeitgeist of country music makes me surly with a quickness. Country might have you believing that metaphors are the deepest form of philosophizing. I'm one of about thirteen people left on this planet who still listens to music by the artist and not the genre or mix. Good artists tend to make great albums; their colleagues in the Pandora similar genre mix, not so much.

My brother has called me "critical of the medium of film," but I retort by saying that I don't have the time, money, or patience to watch garbage. I make rare exceptions for Fast and the Furious movies, but basically I'm down for anything that you make a good case for. I just don't ever think about going to movies. I think it's a universal law that you have no idea what's in theaters if you don't have cable. Some favorites would be the Big Lebowski, Dexter, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, and Mad Men. The Wire is on deck for me.

Coffee and an issue of the Atlantic
A handful of dependable friends
A toothbrush
A place to call home, doesn't matter where
Silence every now and again
A rooftop that I can drink wine on that I won't fall off after enjoying a fair share

Why everyone seems to embellish OkCupid statistics when this information is all we have to form a snap judgement?
When the word "app" will die a fiery death
What other men imagine when they watch truck commercials during NFL games
If it's ethical to use my great grandma to get Irish citizenship
If I am more hypocritical than the average bear
Why everyone loves Facebook so much
Why I refuse to drink decaf coffee outright
If I would be a fascist if someone handed me absolute power
If Ke$ha comes up with her own lyrics or if there is an algorithm in a studio that does it for her

Generally doing something more exciting than counting matches and less exciting than going to the moon... My roommate tries to convince me to go to Chinatown almost every weekend, you might see me there on a non-typical Friday night.

Coldplay makes me happy on just about every occasion.

Do you really need affirmation to pull the trigger? I thought this whole operation thrived on emotions and impulse...