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folk

32 M London, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Feb 21, 2006
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Okay), Russian (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
[Note: Apologies for the lack of paragraphs. Bad OKCupid, no cookie for you.]

Hi. I'm John. I sing too much. ALSO. I AM GAY. PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO HIT ON ME IF YOU ARE FEMALE. Thank you.

I'm immensely musical. Not in that I play eighty-seven different instruments and can write a symphony in a weekend, but in that music is probably one of the most important things in my life. I sing in choirs, I listen to my eclectic -- even eccentric -- music collection, which ranges from Bach's Matthew Passion to S Club 7 to the Dell Vikings to the DJWEASL Lederhosen Mix of Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music. Liking music and enjoying getting to know music -- or at least being able to comfortably ignore my music without ignoring me -- is something of a prerequisite for getting to know me.

Also, as you may have guessed, I'm intelligent. I know this. Some people find me intimidating because I can use words like "erudite" or "verbose" in everyday conversation. I know this too, but I'm frankly unwilling to dumb myself down, because that wouldn't be me. You -- that's a second person plural You -- should be too, or at least need to be able to deal with me being clever, because I have issues with being able to think faster than people. You need to be able to talk properly (in terms of knowing how to construct sentences, how to communicate complex ideas and discuss nuances, not in terms of having a posh accent). You also need to type properly, because there are very few things which irritate me more than netspeak or texting abbreviations in an arena where length of message is not an issue. If you don't know the difference between it's and its, between their, there and they're, or between envy and jealousy -- and you don't have a reason not to know such as, well, being sixteen -- then I might not be the best person to talk to.

I'm entertaining. I have a wickedly dry sense of humour and especially enjoy banter. You really ought to have enough self-confidence to be able to banter right back with me. My best friend -- who I share a house with -- can see through the cleverness to someone who sounds like he's right even when he isn't. You (pl.) need to be able to deal with that too.

Other than that, you (pl.) should be comfortable with an extrovert who occasionally goes into introvert mode and has to have time away from groups of people to recharge. Some people recharge by going out with their friends. I have John Time -- I recharge by going home and having a bath or reading a book, catching up on my LiveJournal friends page and generally spending time not hearing anything except the occasional clicking of computer keyboard. This can also be a hugging, curled up in bed listening to music with a boyfriend sort of time, of course. As much as I enjoy running around London, going to concerts with friends and hanging around in large groups, I love small evenings in, with only a couple of other people, getting to know them better. I'm currently writing about four novels, none of which are in particular states of completion -- one's a gay spy novel set in an alternate present, one's an epic fantasy arc, one's a retelling of a Scottish folksong, and the other's the story of a group of people travelling through Asia. Yes, I am a giant geek.

I suppose I should define this nebulous "you". But first, me -- because this really IS all about me. I've just moved to London for the first time in the ten years I've lived in the UK (I'm an exbrat -- an expat kid) and I'm looking for my urban tribe. "What, John, is an urban tribe," you might ask. (You might also ask, "bitch, are you for real? I know what an urban tribe is." In this case, please read on ahead and have a gold star for effort.) What I mean by "urban tribe" is a somewhat fluid group of people who enjoy similar things who tend to do those things together. I don't mean that everyone has to do everything together, but those who share an interest get together to pursue it. Essentially, I'm looking for a group of extended friends -- friends and friends of friends -- to go to classical concerts with, to laze around in parks with, to stay in with and go out with, to explore the countryside with, to spend weekends in Cornwall with, that sort of thing. (Oh, also -- I don't have issues with final prepositions.)

I'm something of a contradiction. I like nice things but I'm not dreadfully materialist. I like intelligence but I'm not a snob. I went to boarding school but most of my friends didn't. This profile comes across as abrasive but I'm really not.

I'd also like to find someone special. A friend of mine in Beijing once said that my palm says I'm frighteningly monogamous. This is probably true, but not in the stalkery Othello sort of way. Rather, I can live with only one outlet for sexual intimacy, and if you can too -- and if you can deal with me in all my craziness -- then I'd love to get to know you. I've had two serious boyfriends in the past, both of whom I was attracted to primarily by intellect. One was wonderful at the kissing banter (seriously, it was almost as snappy as a Buffy episode), and the other was wonderfully clever and spoke seven languages and shared a lot of musical interests with me. Physical appearance, age, hairline, fashion style, height, width -- in all honesty, none of that concerns me. I don't pick my friends or boyfriends by beauty pageant. That said, I doubt I'd ever go out with anybody old enough to be my father, although I have several friends who are technically old enough to be their own parents, let alone mine.

Here's a list of somewhat unusual things that I have a passion for. If you share the interest, message me and strike up a conversation. I love waffling on about things I love, namely, in no particular order: countertenors, slash fiction, Bach's St Matthew Passion, Leonard Cohen's song 'Hallelujah' as sung by Rufus Wainwright, Rufus Wainwright in general, Weebl's webtoons, Nanny Ogg, Peg Kerr's book 'The Wild Swans', Stephen Fry's book 'The Liar', Susan Cooper's 'The Dark is Rising' sequence, the movie Latter Days, amusing chick flicks like Legally Blonde and Bring It On, cities, the film 'The Fifth Element', and a whole crapload of other stuff that I'll omit because otherwise someone will bludgeon me with something heavy.

This has probably gone on enough -- it might be a candidate for a first year university essay by now. You (singular!) have probably formed an opinion of me by now, so if you want to get to know me further, or if you happen to have a group of friends that you think might enjoy getting to know me -- and I might enjoy getting to know them -- then let me know. If you've got this far without stumbling over the big words or clicking "back", then you're probably someone I'd like to get to know.



I am intellectual, international, and musical

What I’m doing with my life
Well, that's the big question, isn't it? I graduated in July 2003, spent the summer organising the world's first Harry Potter conference, having my gallbladder extracted and interning in the corporate diversity section of an international nonprofit. I've just returned from the 2003-04 academic year teaching in Beijing. Which was nice.
I’m really good at
In no particular order (in fact, I've mixed them up from the order I thought of them in): making people laugh, singing tenor, writing, caring for my friends, travelling, getting to know new places, languages, playing tour guide, making mix CDs, and talking intelligently about a wide number of things which you might not automatically suspect.
The first things people usually notice about me
The fact that I'm taller than them. I tend to loom over people. Perhaps this is because all my friends are short. Actually, that's only after they see me. They usually hear me coming, because I tend to sing a lot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Has to be /The Return of the King/, although I particularly enjoyed /To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar/, which for some reason I'd not seen before. I have a strange fondness for /Legally Blonde/, which I've rewatched, and there are a number of good movies which, given that I lived in China where thoroughly legal DVDs are particularly inexpensive, I'm not listing.
The six things I could never do without
Hmm. Moving to Beijing with two suitcases of entirely replaceable belongings has shown me that there's no particular thing that is utterly necessary for me other than my stuffed bear, who marks "Home" for me, wherever I am. To answer the question, I wouldn't want to give up music, a computer with Internet access, my six senses, the ability to travel, somewhere to call home or my friends.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Actually, I already have an Evil Twin whose brain is fairly interchangeable with my own, which is at times amusing and at times totally fucking weirdly coincidental. I wouldn't like to trade brains with anybody unless I could remember and learn from the experience, in which case it would probably be Andreas Scholl, who is my favorite countertenor (bonus points if you know that a countertenor is a male singer who can sing alto in the falsetto range of his voice, like the guy who sings the high notes for the Beach Boys).
On a typical Friday night I am
Either online chatting to my friends, out with local friends for dinner or clubbing, rehearsing or singing. I don't hold Friday night in any sort of reverence or consider it the highlight of my week. The highlight of my week is usually a singing rehearsal because I adore singing (and if you haven't guessed that by now, click on to the next person, please) and the sort of person who it attracts. Many of my best friends have come from choral connections.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm ridiculously low in self-confidence when it comes to thinking that people will consider me physically attractive. It's somewhat oxymoronic, because I certainly don't consider physical attractiveness as the most important thing in whether I have feelings for a person.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 23–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You've got this far. No, seriously. Make with the messaging.