10/12/09 - wow, it really feels like it's just the same ambivalent handful of dudes endlessly circling... why do the same tiresome men check my profile again and again and again? i'd be mortified to look at the same dude's profile even 3 times but maybe i just have a lower embarrassment threshold or something.
honestly, i haven't met anyone decent off this site in over 6 months. may be time to pack it in...

fuck it, here goes nothing:
half-assed dog paddler through the brackish fluids of human irrelevance. i collect phallic symbols, stinging rejections, and ballerina figurines. looking to meet fellow mutants, contrarians, dirtbag musicians, anger-frothing comedians, weirdo fringe-dwellers who choose to create rather than consume. if you're a business or sports or conservative or religious or mainstream sausage-brained zombie, please scatter off. time to feed my raccoons!

p.s. listen up folks, i prefer YOUNGER MEN - y'know foxy, THIRTYISH material. i'm pathologically immature and not into dating my father! cripes! having said that, please don't be too young either (let's say under 30) - not into cavorting with someone i could have spawned! yuck! and no dudes with kids. dogs, kitties, goats - no problem, but children, YOUR children don't interest me. and no icky married men!!!
if you're paunchy or have that old, deflated look or think that Dylan and the Beatles are the pinnacle of musical achievement than i'm for sure, not interested. some women have a Daddy complex - NOT ME.

p.p.s. please try and live in New York City. not Jersey, not Long Island, not Pittsburgh, or Iran or Croatia!!! I'm not debasing myself for penpals! i'm also not a big fan of instant messaging - i find it intrusive. but if you want me to bite, you're gonna need to come up with something more provocative than "Hi" or "Hey" or some other monosyllabic twaddle.

this may sound harsh but if you've messaged me and i've not responded, it doesn't mean i'm playing hard to get or just too busy to plow through some alleged "mountain" of messages. it means i'm NOT INTERESTED for whatever reason i damn please. if i write to someone and they don't respond, i quietly move along, no explanation necessary. attraction is a subtle and irrational thing...

i would also like to add that in person, i'm actually not such a BRAYING LUNATIC - i think that 2 years of online "dating" has caused at least my online persona to calcify into an ENRAGED SCHTICK. i assure you gentlemen, much of this is done for comedy's sake...

loitering, bruxism, benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, staring emptily into the middle distance, assorted squanderings

my chirping nimbus of fruit bats.

if you're a bit too myopically focused on stereotypical nerd-fare (ie. comic books, graphic novels, superhero nonsense, gaming, sci-fi, animation), we probably won't have much to talk about.

here's some of what i'm into (like it matters) -

Jimmy McDonough's "The Ghastly One: The Sex-Gore Netherworld of Andy Milligan" - my absolute favorite book of the past few years. anything by E.M. Cioran, Robert Walser, Witold Gombrowicz, Hakim Bey, Bruce Benderson, Flannery O'Connor, Caroline Blackwood, Brian Evenson, John Gilmore, Gary Indiana, Samuel Beckett, Brion Gysin, Edgar Allan Poe, Anna Kavan, Ryszard Kapuscinski, Mary Robison, Janet Frame, Richard Hughes, Matthew Stokoe, Lawrence Weschler, Derrick Jensen.
Recent favorites include Matthew Stokoe's "High Life," Dennis Cooper's "The Sluts,"and Unica Zurn's "Dark Spring." Grim, sleazy, yet intelligent - that's my bag!

Sonny Sharrock, Slayer, Albert Ayler, Miles Davis (preferably '70's, electric),Black Flag, Rush, Noxagt, This Heat, Minutemen, Magma, Supersilent, Hank Williams Sr., Louvin Brothers, Brothers Johnson, Iron Maiden, Krallice, Amon Duul II, Om,Khanate, X, Steely Dan, Thin Lizzy, Born Against, Breadwinner, Public Image Limited, Earth, Prurient, Ocrilim, Wolves in the Throne Room, Jandek, Burning Witch, Low, Thrones, Xasthur, Void, Orthodox, Meat Puppets, Captain Beefheart,C.O.C., Man is the Bastard, Guapo, Oxbow, Tony Orlando and Dawn.

Tsai Ming-Liang's "I Don't Want To Sleep Alone," George Romero's "Martin," Carlos Reygadas' "Silent Light," Josef Von Sternberg's "The Scarlet Empress," Curtis Harrington's "Night Tide," Sam Fuller's "White Dog," Richard Blackburn's "Lemora," Antonioni's "La Notte," Andy Milligan's "Fleshpot on 42nd Street, Bruno Dumont's "Humanite," Doris Wishman's "Let Me Die A Woman," Matt Cimber's astonishing "The Witch Who Came From the Sea," Pascal Laugier's "Martyrs" - fucking unbelievable!

Editors

• blarghly

gigantic soul-sucking negativity vortex i use in lieu of air-conditioning.

fine-tuning my catastrophic stasis machine, laying on the floor with my rabbits

I'm not interested in attempting a monogamous relationship at this point. Spent 17 years in 3 consecutive long-term gigs and found the experiences occasionally comforting, but also sexually tiresome, socially isolating and a definite accelerant for sick, mutually-deflating co-dependent behaviors. If your jealous feelings are low-grade and mostly tolerable and you're into having this kind of freedom yourself, we maybe could hang. If not, i suggest you keep looking.

also, i find men who do yoga somewhat repulsive.

you like going to shows (metal, experimental, free jazz, shit that defies neat categorization). you have a broad and idiosyncratic taste in film - everything from '70's exploitation nonsense to subtitled arthouse fare to crackly, black and white Hollywood classics. you like good cheap ethnic grub and can tolerate my 20 year vegetarian ways. you enjoy an occasional derangement of the senses. you have the overwhelming psychic need to engage in some outdoorsy hijinx. you are sharp, surreal, intense, fit, silly and mildly dominant. too straight-laced, nebbishy, introverted, "spiritual," teetotalling, indifferent to animals, xenophobic, house-bound, beer-bellied, hairy, sexually passive or outwardly conventional (pleated slacks = geyser of vomit) - i implore you to move along, bub!]
and please, have some substantial relationship experience under your belt (!) - i'm not interested in literal or figurative virgins.

NO SUITS, NO SQUARES, NO SANDALS, NO SIMPS, NO SCHLUBS, NO SOCIOPATHS!