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31 M Oxford, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly vegetarian
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a fourth-year PhD student, in history of art. My thesis is on Constructivism between the 1950s and 1970s, and I'm happy to tell you more about that if it interests you, though equally quite happy not to if it doesn't!

Politics are important to me, I would call myself libertarian communist or anarchist. That includes trying to be anti-racist, feminist, queer-friendly, and green. Recently that's been manifesting itself more in theory than in activism, as I really have my head down trying to complete at the moment.

Being a student I'm relatively poor for somebody of my age and education, and while I'm fairly sure that will improve at some point, I couldn't say when, as employment prospects for humanities academics aren't great these days! So if you're looking for someone with a good steady income, who isn't likely to move to another city or emigrate in search of a job when the time comes, then I'm probably not the person for you! On the other hand, if you think that sounds romantic and exciting, well great! :-P

As far as sex and gender goes, I'm only really attracted to women, but "straight" might be a slight misnomer, in that I'm curious to experiment with kink, and open-minded about alternative relationship arrangements that might help with that. I'm not totally averse to having a monogamous long-term relationship, (it could be nice!), but I wouldn't really want to settle down with somebody who is hoping to start a family in the next few years (my poverty is also a factor there!)...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I took up running (well, jogging) a couple of months ago. I've surprised myself that I'm almost enjoying it now!

I'm trying to finish my PhD by mid-October! (Full disclosure: I'll most likely be living with my parents for the final year of my PhD. Times are tight!). NB although I'm based in Oxford, I'm not *at* Oxford or Brookes.

My PhD has coincided with the general mess in higher education brought on by the (terrible) Con-Dem coalition response to the economic crisis, so I guess my life has been a kind of microcosm of that crisis for a while, and it's been fairly stressful. I mean, I'm sure it has affected everybody one way or another.

On the upside, I have been lucky enough to get research funding to travel to conferences and visit museums and archives in interesting places. Next trip now lined up for November is the Venice architecture biennale.

I have a fairly typical student lifestyle in that I keep my own hours; the time-cycle is a bit longer than for an undergrad or masters student though, in that I only submit work for feedback every few weeks. So on the one hand, my sense of time doesn't mesh very simply with people with proper jobs, on the other hand, I have a fair bit of flexibility, which is nice.

I follow (extra-parliamentary, national and international) politics avidly and I used to go on quite a lot of demos, maybe one every few months. I find I'm having to step back from this as final deadlines loom, though, but I intend to take it up again once I finish.

After the PhD things are quite up in the air. I think I will be reviewing my options, but the possibilities on the cards at the moment are: a post-doctoral academic position; a non-academic but art-related research job in a gallery or museum; some kind of documentary film work; emigration! (Not all the options are mutually exclusive!). I'd like to live in Germany and/or France for a bit to learn the languages (I'm teaching myself french very gradually), but I am also open to the possibility of moving to another English speaking country.

I harbour a sidelined ambition to be a filmmaker, and in the past I worked on some projects in that area. Hopefully after my PhD I'll be able to take it up again, at least as a serious hobby. The same goes for music. In the meantime I do really enjoy going to cinema and gigs.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I am good academically - at least up to masters level; it remains to be seen whether that translates to doctoral standard though! There's also definitely room for improvement as far as public speaking and presentations goes...

I'm a good listener. In large groups I'm often quite reserved and quiet, but I am fully "present", not off in my own dream world, it's just that for some reason I don't often see openings for myself to contribute to conversations, and I prefer just to listen. I tend to identify or sympathise with people fairly quickly, which takes a lot of energy in itself. I say more in small groups or one-on-one.

I'm quite reliable and dependable, and I'm good at keeping commitments and staying in touch with people. I used to think of lots of people as flakey, but coming to think maybe I am the exception to the rule here rather than vice versa, so more tolerant of flakiness now.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't honestly know, I would be interested to hear. My self-image probably isn't very close to how other people see me. I had a conversation a while ago where an acquaintance (who I hadn't thought of as particularly superficial) told me she judges potential boyfriends on their shoes... which is not something I'd ever considered. I do have a fairly nice red pair of trainers if you're interested!

On here, apparently the fact that I am now over 30 is a big deal, judging by a lot of peoples' "I'm looking for" section.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Reading for pleasure has taken a backseat as I have to do so much focused reading for work. But my favourite book is 'Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia' by Deleuze and Guattari. I also like continental philosophy in general, e.g. Nietzsche, Derrida, Serres etc. I don't seem to read novels these days (been halfway through one for about a year now); looking forward to getting back to that after the PhD. In the meantime, I think maybe I should start reading poetry, or going to poetry-readings, as a more "snack-size" form of literature! (I studied English as an undergraduate)

I like movies and watch a lot but I don't have a favourite. The thing I enjoyed most recently was rewatching "Cliffhanger" - I'd forgotten how good it was! I also enjoyed "Drive" and "Hanna".

I don't have a favourite TV shows but recently I most enjoyed "Utopia" and "Peaky Blinders" and "Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle". I don't have the time/inclination for the epic American box sets, sorry!

Music-wise, my first interest was '60s rock, particularly the Beatles. Then I liked alt-rock bands like REM, Radiohead, Manics, Pixies, Flaming Lips. In my late-teens, I really got into punk/post-punk/new wave/indie rock from the late '70s and early 80s. e.g. Talking Heads, Television, Patti Smith, Gang of Four, The Smiths, The Slits, X-Ray Spex. Kate Bush and Joni Mitchell also deserve a mention. But I don't really seek out much new rock music anymore, though I sometimes go to gigs or listen to things my friends recommend. I want to get more into classical and modern "art music" though. Enjoyed a Messiaen concert recently.

Foodwise, I'm vegetarian, and would like to eventually become a vegan, so any encouragement there would be appreciated! (I like cheese a bit too much). My favourite national cuisine(!) is probably Indian. I like burritos a lot too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm not attached to many objects, but, leaving aside basic bodily needs...

- I guess I would be kind of lost without my laptop, though I don't carry it around with me.

- Smart phone.

- Glasses or contact lenses... (though my short-sightedness is fairly mild).

- My bike. (Or Oyster when I'm in London).

- My library card(s).

- Books, whenever I'm travelling for more than 20 minutes, I like to have a book or three in my bag.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
For my work I think a lot about art and the history of art, naturally.

I'm quite analytical and self-critical about relationships and sexuality (doesn't necessarily reflect the amount I am involved in either myself!).

I always like reading modern continental philosophy; apart from the aforementioned art and sex, the other themes there that interest me are to do with economics and politics, and collective subjectivity (relation between classes, groups, movements, institutions, parties, leaders, etc). And also, more broadly, questions like what is "meaning"?, and how would it be possible to live ethically?, pretentious as that might sound.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I know it's a cliché but I don't think I really have a typical friday night. As a student, friday isn't such a big deal and I don't even necessarily remember what I've done on a friday as opposed to other nights of the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't like the way this question uses the word "admit" as though if something is private it must also be guilty, it's Kafka-esque... In fact the whole public-private distinction grates on me. I deliberately put the sex stuff in the other sections. You'll also find info there about my lack of religion, personal finances, etc etc :-P
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you think we could get along, and/or if you find me attractive!

I'm not particularly bothered about travel distance. Obviously if you live more than an hour or so away then we couldn't date in a regular way. I make a slight exception for London - the journey is about two hours but I go there regularly. I'm also happy to travel to meet people further away occasionally, or say hello when I'm in the area. (I've had nice dates in Weymouth and Berlin before, for example).

Generally, though, I guess it's important that this section is headed, "You should message me if", rather than "I am seeking". If you like the look/sound of me then a message would be really appreciated. The gender ratio on this site isn't great, so non-spam messages are quite rare and always welcome!

NB - Apparently I am not receiving all the messages that are sent to me. If I seem to be ignoring a message from you, please try saying hello on the instant messaging/chat as an alternative.