Let me 'splain… No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

'Allo! I'm Mike...or Gimpy if you're daring ;) I respond equally to either name :D First off, I'm gonna throw this in here just because I wanna be an attention whore :D

This is the real me

AND..

Since I seem to be looked at on here by more men-folk than women these days since I started listing myself as bisexual :
I lean more towards hetero-flexible than truly bisexual. On the Kinsey scale I'm like a one, maybe a two. Learning from personal experience I have found the majority of men to be over-sexually predatorial in their mating ritual attempts and this characteristic is an instant turn-off for me. Thus I am extremely picky in my attraction to men. NEWSFLASH GUYS: Complimentative flirting is painfully obvious, unoriginal, and makes you look like a douche with an agenda. Try talking to me like I'm a respectable person and not some shiny object to be won. If you think you can deal with that, by all means send me a message and we'll see what happens...I just wanted to give all you guys a fair heads-up. If you're curious about what I'm attracted to in the same sex...Skinny, hairless (as in excess body hair), nerd/geek boy types seem to do it for me the most often. In terms of 'gender identification' I like guys who portray an even blend of masculine and feminine. An example of this in pop culture, to me anyway, is the actor Alan Cumming. I would do naughty naughty things to that man if I had the chance :P Lastly, as a general rule, MEN: if you are old enough to be my father (45 yrs or older) please assume I am not interested unless I message you first. (Unless you're rich and wanna be my sugar daddy...just kidding...maybe...)

AND...

For those who like to take stock in such things as Myers-Briggs, I am ENTP.

Now then, on with the show!...err...profile...

I am a geek and I mean that quite sincerely. I am the quintessential fanboy, roleplaying, renn-faire, SCA, nerd-loving geeky / goth / burner type. If that is the type of guy you tend to gravitate toward then we probably will get along just fine :D *

*Addendum to above: Apparently some people's mental image of people such as myself is Peter Pan complexed, immature, man-children. I can assure you that while that stereotype can be true, it does not pertain to me. I am a fully capable, self-sufficient, mature, responsible adult when it is called for.

I read comics, I read/watch/follow sci-fi/fantasy books/movies/TV shows, I roleplay (I'm talking D&D table-top type, not that video game BS), I attend sci-fi/fantasy conventions (most frequently DragonCon and Frolicon), I spend hours reading Wikipedia for fun, I attend the local renaissance faire whenever possible and other out of state renn-faire's when feasible...There are few geeky/nerdy subjects for which I don't have at least some kind of response/opinion for....

While the identifier term 'Bi Poly Pagan Geek' doesn't completely accurately describe me, at the same time it isn't that far off the mark either.

Also of note is my very particular sense of humor. In my opinion anything and everything can and will, at least be attempted by me, to be made funny if given proper context. An example of this is that upon meeting me in real life I am quite obviously disabled/a cripple (this is caused by a birth defect called Spina Bifida. Please Google it if you're curious and I will answer any remaining questions you may have no matter how odd or personal, I promise)...and probably wearing a shirt that says "I'm Just In It For The Parking"...This is my sense of humor...If you are easily offended by such brands of humor then I will probably offend you at some point...fair warning...

On the sexual/adult oriented side of things I have interests in naturism/nudism and have been a part of the bdsm community to some degree for several years (I am a switch if you're curious). Not that one has anything to do with the other, I just needed somewhere to put both subjects lol. I am on fetlife under the username -Gimpy- (hyphens included) if you would like to connect there instead.

Still interested? lol

Currently I am in a committed relationship with, and completely and madly head over heels for, my darling Kiarapanther. However, we both identify as poly ( or polyamorous). In poly-speak she is my primary, and I have no inclinations for that to change. That being said, I am open to new 'Secondary-significant-others','Other-significant-others', various Triad-type configurations, or any other kinds of relationships, be they intimate or friendly, that divine providence wishes to come my way :D

To be clear: I do not cheat and do not advocate anyone else cheating in their respective relationships. For me to be in an intimate relationship with anyone it's necessary that all parties that are also intimately involved by connection are aware and ok with what's going on.

Trying to squeeze as much fun out of it before the inevitable worm buffet invitation.

Also, Since this space is commonly used to reference occupational type activities then it's probably appropriate to say here that necessity dictates that I be unemployed, at least for the foreseeable future. This is because, long story short, by being unemployed I qualify for Medicare and thus have a stable medical insurance for the entirety of my life, a very necessary thing for a disabled person such as myself. If I were to receive a taxable income I would render myself ineligible for Medicare and be subjected to any insurance my employer might provide, if any; if I could even get coverage considering my pre-existing crippled condition. The safer situation for my maintained well-being and stable health is to remain unemployed and receive Medicare. I also receive Social Security money so I do have a form of, albeit modest, income. If this is a dealbreaker situation for you, as I understand for some people that it might be, then I will now bid you good luck on your continued search for whatever it is you are looking for...

Listening to someone and being able to not butt-in and talk about myself in the process...seriously, talking about myself makes me feel extremely egotistical and that characteristic bugs the crap outta me. I'd much rather listen to someone else talk about themselves. Even just writing all this has made me feel self-consciously annoyed with myself...ok, enough of my neurosis....

< Rain Man > The crutches...yea, yea definitely,definitely the crutches...< /Rain Man >

((Actually I noticed his smile first. He has a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh - Kiarapanther))

In all seriousness, it's probably that there's a rather fun-sized (read:short) guy on crutches wearing a kilt and a cowboy hat standing near them...I mean, how often do you get to see that? We're a dying breed I tell ya...

BTW - Just a small aside to all you lovely ladies out there who think that people notice your 'eyes' or your 'smile' first. Please, don't delude yourself. If the person looking is a straight or bi male he noticed your boobs or your butt first. He may have noticed your eyes or smile a split second later but firsties always belongs to your goodies. Any man who says otherwise is either a liar or homosexual (In which case he noticed your male friend's 'package' first). This doesn't mean we're all over-sexed pigs. It's just an instinctual drive to propagate the species. It's SCIENCE :D

(Work in progress re-write)

I tend to be a fan more of genre's and sub-genre's rather than specific bands, movies, etr...So I am gonna start making these lists as such for the sake of brevity.

Music: Rock (Classic, Hard, Soft, Pop, etr), Metal (all kinds), Pop, Adult Contemporary, Oldies, Country (Modern, Classic), Classic Rap, Classic R&B, Classical, Comedy, Punk (Real, a.k.a. only before 1980), New Wave, Folk, Filk.

Movies: Comedy, Action, Action Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Drama, Dramedy, Black Comedy, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Historical Drama, Spoof, Art-House, Foreign, Animated,Comic-Book, Musical/Broadway, Porn.

Television: Sitcoms, Medical/Historical/Law Enforcement Drama, Sci-Fi/Fantasy.

Books: Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Mystery, Classic American Literature, Classic British Literature, Historical Non-Fiction.

Food: Yes Please?

Ok..time to get serious..like that'll ever happen :P...6 things eh?...

1) Heart..figuratively and literally.

2) Brains..I think therefore I am and all that jazz...plus, I'm a zombie:P

3) Courage to live life....ok, anyone else notice the Wizard of Oz motif going on? creepy....

4) The crutches, kinda need em or else I fall down go 'boom'.

5) Friends telling me "Don't do it, it's a bad idea".

6) My best friend sitting in jail right next to me saying "Well, that was really stupid!"

Why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight....can anyone help me out with that one?

(Small note of interest: I have had this question here since the inception of this profile several years ago and to date only two people have ever messaged me with any kind of answer or even a reference to this question. Does anyone even bother reading this far?)

Typical friday? that's not interesting at all. I think that should be changed to an atypical friday, but maybe thats just me..anyway..hmmn..probably some random adventure like getting lost or karaoke or picking the lint out of my belly button...;D

Because of my extroverted nature privacy doesn't really exist in terms of myself. I really have nothing about myself or my life that I would label as something I *want* to keep hidden from anyone, just things that due to circumstance *are* kept hidden. The only thing keeping someone from knowing pretty much anything and everything about me is their lack of asking the questions...

Having said that I would like to admit to this...this isn't really 'private' information per se, just information that isn't particularly obvious...

Despite being extremely extroverted day-to-day (I have little to no problem making a spectacle of myself in most given situations)...To this day I am painfully shy around women that I find to be attractive. To the point where no matter how attractive I might find a particular girl, I will probably not go up and talk to said girl unless I see an extremely advantageous opening with which to do so...This is most likely a holdover trait from my shy days of having matured as a cripple and not being looked at by the opposite-sex as anything more than 'The Friend' and consequently equating anyone I find attractive to being automatically 'out-of-my-league'

Having said this, I must also admit that this shyness has transferred onto this website as well...I do a fair amount of browsing here and have seen quite a number of people I would really like to engage in conversation with, yet I lack the swagger to do so....

So if I could ask a favor of those of you reading this far...If you have seen that I have viewed your profile from your 'visitors' page or I am on your match list or however else you have somehow found me here and any part of all this rambling has sparked some interest for you in me. I humbly ask that you send me a message or a wink or whatever and inform me of your interest. I promise I can lead a conversation from that point if necessary...I just need to have the knowledge that someone wants to be contacted by me...Otherwise I feel akin to a sleazy guy walking up randomly to some girl in a bar going 'Hey baby, etc'....and I reeeeallly despise that scenario. I sincerely thank you for, what I hope will be, your understanding....

Also, I tend to shower naked...on occasion...

And...I'm Batman.

You want to have the best pity sex of your life :P (just kidding!....maybe :P )

You should message me if you can mark an X next to the following:
[ ] Not a serial killer.
[ ] Not psychotic in general.
.............................................
[ ] Never gonna give me up.
[ ] Never gonna let me down.
[ ] Never gonna run around, and desert me.
[ ] Never gonna make me cry.
[ ] Never gonna say goodbye.
[ ] Never gonna tell a lie, and hurt me.

Yes, that just happened.

You should NOT message me if:
All you have to say right off the bat solely involves anything to do with your level of hormones being in an overly sexually stimulated state, in layman's terms 'I'm horny'. You will be mocked, ridiculed, and otherwise laughed at mercilessly by me. I am not a fuck puppet here solely for your sexual amusement. Be a dear and at least have the temerity to romance a boy a little first :P