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27 Bronx, NY Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body type
Used up
Mostly other
Not at all
Catholicism, but not too serious about it
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Other (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi I'm Frankie and my nickname is Beans.
My profile is kinda sorta long so I hope you like to read, but! if you don't this is me in a nutshell. relaxed person, family oriented and I have good old fashioned values. I'm just looking for a nice simple girl that's not too wild who enjoys family time type of things that can be a goof ball with me and maybe crack me and bring out a new side of me. someone who does not need to be serious all the time. Yes, I will admit I am a piece of work and all the time I put into this profile will show you that. . And now I guess I hope you enjoy reading my autobiography.

*movie trailer guy voice with dramatic sounds * One dating website........his mission...........find miss right........or..........will miss right find him.......a story filled with passion.......heart break.......and stunning visuals........Dr. Seuss raves.
Dr. Seuss - "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
ok I'm going to stop. Now available in IMAX 3D!!!!!!!!!!!
*end movie trailer guy voice* because what isn't in IMAX 3D !!! Now a days?

Now for our feature presentation, please will you kindly put all foods and beverages down while reading this profile. *CAUTION* What you're about to read is shocking readers discretion is advised *CAUTION* choking my occur from the hilarious story that is me which you are about to read and I would like to not have your death on my hands or have you blame me for a broken computers/electronics.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Ok do-key lets get for reals I have something to get out of the way so lets start with a BANG so you can see what you're getting into so I don't waste your time. Ok here it goes (clears throat) I have never had a girlfriend also never had my first kiss YET!! (You see I'm being optimistic key word YET, how do I manage this I have no clue.) seriously the only chick I ever picked up tweeted and I'm not talking about a girl on twitter *Badum tish!*. I have waited this long why not make it special or am I making it a bigger deal then what it is? oh well. I hope the first lady I actually take that step with into a relationship will be the lady I will marry because for me to put the effort in getting to know you and getting to the relationship part would mean that you have that special something that I'm looking for and most likely are the one at least in my eyes and I would hope that you also think the same but if you don't no biggie. I need help with this part soooo would you like to help me out please i'm not the best at talking with the ladies, ha-ha! This might make or break me on this site, but I'm honest and it's a need to know thing and I'm not going to hide it because that's not how I roll. I may not be any Rico suave or smooth operator but I guarantee you won't care for that guy after you get to know me. Look on the bright side maybe you're the lucky lady that I will pick to teach me how to kiss! is there a bright side to that? Aye Yai Yai. I'm also considering hanging out aT church soon because I hear that's where all the good girls hang out but really I actually wish I went more but don't feel right going alone so if you're a church girl you have a new partner in me. And I will admit I'm trying really hard to make this situation I'm in sound better than what it is so please don't write me off lol.
(I know I should be trying to keep you reading and not make you run away! Wow what the heck am I doing what a way to open up if you haven't left yet thank you. I'm not adding a bunch of stuff into my profile to make me sound like a good person and lie to you and be someone I'm not. this is all me what you will see and read is what you will get i'm as honest and upfront as they make em)

(I don't even know if I should put this but what the heck i'm going for broke and want you to know who I am and what I want and hope to have one day)

On a more serious note I live for the day when I'm sitting just talking with my wife or we are just sitting watching a movie and I hear the words "I'm pregnant" just said randomly you know like the way it happens in the movies. That day will be one of the most one happy days of my life. But the most happy day will be when I first get to see and hold my baby. If I had to pick one goal in my life it would be to be the best father in the world one day because I really want to have my own family (as if that wasn't obvious by all the pictures with my nieces lol) then I can say my life is complete. This is just the type of guy I'm, And no I'm not trying to rush the whole kids thing AT ALL. I want to be married so I say 5 or 10 years no sooner though lol, It all depends time will tell but as you can see and will learn that I love kids and really want my own kid's, yes kid(S) Plural! Yes you did read that right meaning more than 1 less than 10 maybe 11 lol and a big house and like 5 dogs lol :).
(yes i'm a guy talking about getting married and having kids and I haven't even met you yet what the heck am I doing, I'm really hitting it out the park aren't I? But this is what I'm all about and it's my ultimate goal in life and so far its not looking so promising being in the situation I put myself in)

Random facts about myself, have fun reading.

• I'm family oriented I just love when everybody gets
together to be with each other and it's a big plus if you are too but if you're not well I think I may be able to convert you :)

• I love kids and kids love me, I don't know what it is but I radiate this energy that kids pick up on and the just flock to me. I'm so good with kids I guess you can say its a talent. I have 5 nieces that I love to death and I do anything for and get anything they want (EXAMPLE: Stay out in the rain for like 10 hours in line when wii came out so they can have a wii or buying a tickle me Elmo for 4 times the price on e bay and had to get it 2 days before Christmas so add next day shipping on top of that. So all and all uncle Frankie is the best and when my nieces ask me for something I make it happen lol) And I take MAJOR pride in being the best Uncle of choice to all my nieces! hopefully one day one of my brothers have a boy or possibly me lol that I can beat up on and play some sports with.
( I have 3brothers all older and 1 younger sister. Now the next generation of the family has been all girls! So the person who has the boy is going to be the big winner lol)

• I'm always going to be a kid at heart even when I'm 80, I'm not going to get boring just because I'm older so when my kids are 7 I will be running through the isles in the supermarket with them not after them. Kids make me who I'm and I really really really can't wait to have my own one day... Well I can wait..... You get the point.

• Genuine.

• Very easy to get along with.

• Very nice person maybe to nice at times.

• Honest and somebody you can trust.

• I have and love good old-fashioned values and looking for someone that's somewhat the same.

• Chivalry still very much exist in my world. With me you get door holding and I also pull out your chair and if you get really lucky I may even throw my jacket ontop of a puddle so you can walk across it. (I guess you could consider me old school)

• I am what you call a gentleman and because its so rare now a days and people don't know what that means or have never seen one of those "gentleman" things I have a definition for you but yes we still exist its just hard to find us you need to look in the right places lol. Gentleman: a man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior who is always polite and honest and considers other people’s needs.

• Hopeless romantic. You probably don't see this much in a guy's profile so I'm happy to be the first! I'm not afraid to spill my heart out I'm a guy that has no problem showing his sensitive side. Don't get me wrong I'm not outside skipping around picking flowers or anything but if that is your idea of a good time I have no problem doing it Lol.

• I'm Funny I may joke around a bit much but I know when to be serious.....sometimes lol but I'm a joker and a sarcastic little bastard. I also like to sneak up on people and scare the living crap out of them, my sister probably is going to have a heart attack one day lol .....ok maybe that part wasn't so funny but its funny scarring the crap out of somebody that's coming home at 3 or 4 am after a night of drinking and parting lmao. But Somebody is going to give me a nice hook to the chin one day and lay me out.....But anyway, when I'm in my zone I can be the most funny person you will ever know because I just forget about everything and let loose, Its kinda like another person comes out of me an even funnier person.
Honestly I watch videos like this and cant wait till I can do this.
please watch it.... you are going to hate me but its fair warning expect it, you will grow to love it lol....
PrankvsPrank from youtube its so funny!!!

• I don't drink or go clubbing or out to bars just never felt the need to drink alcohol to have a good time so it's just not me sorry, I have my reasons and when we become friends and all I will feel more comfortable telling you why and all that jazz. but if you're into going to a show, out to eat , the museum, mall, movies or just walking around the city or sitting around just enjoying each others company with a board game then I'm your man :)

Kevin Hart- aint nobody going to take you seriously if you can swing your feet sitting on a bar stool. lmfao

• Cannolis best thing ever of all time!! closely followed by what I call 3 color cookies aka rainbow.

• I don't like coffee, I'm fine with some chocolate milk or some juice in the morning, yea I'm still 5 so what?

• I think the mac and cheese with the characters taste better then the regular noodles and I have not a clue why though it just does lol.

• I am kinda a picky eater and have always been but I can see myself getting out of that if I had a significant other that was eating different foods I would be more open to trying new things.

• I start nibbling on my knuckle when i'm focused on something.

• If I'm not doing anything and I'm just sitting around I just randomly go brush my teeth when I'm bored.

• I sleep with 3 comforters 6 pillows. I like to have something to grab onto and be all comfortable snug and cozy. hopefully one day I would have the opportunity to replace half of them with an actual female because laundry gets kinda out of control.
*Wink Wink* Lol

• The fortunes in my cookies always relate to me.
(I collect them and have a nice wittle stack)

• I always end up looking at the clock or any set of numbers when its 4:19 which is my birthday. this happens to me way to much and its scary. if i took a picture every time i seen 419 in a day you would be shocked, it must happen like 10 times a day.

• I don't like licking my fingers to turn a page.. there's something about it that just bothers me, I just wont do it i will sit there and fight to the death with the page but I will not do it.

• I like to explore the city but don't know how the heck to get around my navigating skills are not so good. lost lost lost lost lost.

• I would love to go to Santorini, Greece one day because it just looks so beautiful and peaceful I am in love with that place.

• I don't eat food from the street carts. Do you have any idea how dirty they are ?!?!yuck yuck

• Riding bike aimlessly till I get tired its also good exercise.

•I wash my whites separate.

• I'm a very good tipper.

• Song that best describes me and my life
P. Diddy - Bad Boys For Life. Lol

• Playing the same song on my computer and phone at the same time so it has that nice echo sound.

• I like looking at old pictures and video of me and family. you should see me when I find a set of pictures that I haven't seen I get so happy I'm like oh my god!!! look look look!!! lol its funny.

• I want to learn to cook/bake....I actually like to do these things I just have nobody to do them with.
(I watch foodnetwork ONE of the few things I watch on tv im not much of a tv person though)

• Me and my friends have game nights where we fight to the death in monopoly till 6am. if you're into them type of things this is awesome because I would love to add another victim to my list.

• I probably eat ice cream more in the winter than the summer

• I don't eat McDonald or burger king or any fast food chain burger place. Its been about 6 or 7 years I think and it has changed my life significantly.

• I'm very handy I like to fix things and I will take things apart if I have the right tools just to take it apart and see the insides.

• I geek out; sometimes I can sit talking about technology for ever just slap me if it gets annoying seriously you have full permission. Really if I start talking to much on our first date I would like you to slap me because then I know that you really want to get to know me, and you read my profile.
(Just not too hard)

• I hate hate hate when people use the word via!! that word just annoys the heck out of me lol. Why the heck do people need to abbreviate what they are actually saying.
(I may have used lol about 800 times already, but that's different lol lol this site put that phrase into my brain and its not leaving. I never used that word until I joined this site.)

• My favorite animal is the Giraffe and I always wanted to feed one but never have but I also think Zoos are kinda messed up, but anyways I love animals I've had lots of pets when I was a young lad. over 30 fish 1 really big tank, frog, 6 birds, 2 cats, 2 hamsters,3 dogs,5 lizards a lot of good times and pain because it all comes to an end but I guess I love all living things I wouldn't harm a fly, literally! if I see a bug I catch it and put it outside. If I see you kill or try to kill a bug I will give you this whole lecture on why are you killing that bug it has a life and a family just like you. I know, I know, its just a bug but would you like it if someone stepped on you? lol so the next time you go kill a bug think about what I just said you will feel like you did the right thing after you do. this may sound crazy to you but when you really think about it its true and not cool.
Wow i'm really not as crazy as I sound trust me lol.

(As cute as puppies and kittens may be, try not to buy your next dog or cat from a pet store or breeder because supporting people that sell animals is not right! they have thousands of perfectly good animals in NYC alone in shelters just waiting for somebody to come by and love and care for them. and a lot of them are puppies that haven't been sold and got older and lost the puppy look or are victims of animal abuse and are given to the overcrowded shelters and every day animals are put down because the lack of space and money to support them. so save a perfectly good animal from a shelter if you are looking for one because trust me it might not have that cute puppy look but when you get them home the feeling you will have knowing you just saved a life that would have most likely been put down for no reason what so ever other then because careless people is amazing.)

• I hate fishing, let me put a hook in your food and lets see how you like it when you have a hook coming out of your face.. oh and we will do this while we are in space so you cant breath just so you can feel the same way the poor little fish does.

• I have a really good memory when it comes to things that happen days months years ago but im like a fish when it comes to something that happen recently it takes time to download probably.

• I like to watch cartoons and anything educational (discovery, history channel , animal planet and food network and The Ellen Degenerus Show and she gets major points from me because she is a good person and we need more people like her in the world today.) I don't know how people watch that jerry springer type stuff.
I don't watch TV very much I'm more of a computer person.

• I like to save my money and i'm not a crazy spender but my account might drop quickly once I find a girlfriend i'm told haha!

• I am a very giving person I like to donate.When I go to the city I run into about 20 homeless people every time and I try to give as much as I can. But I swear I think homeless people have meetings and at the meeting they have poster of my face saying be on the look at for this guy or they have some type of Frankie radar because I must run into every homeless person.

• I love seeing random acts of kindness because its so rare nowadays, it makes me believe there is still hope for humanity and every time I see it. it puts me on the edge to shed a tear or two.

• I want to one day be able to just walk up to homeless people that need money and instead of giving a buck or 2 be able to drop a 50 in the cup. and give a struggling family like 1,000 dollars so they can have a worry free Christmas so their kids can wake up Christmas day and have tons of new toys to play with.

• I think im some type of crazy experiment, they put pieces of a woman's brain inside my head I think.

• I think too much.....I think.

• I'm just an all around good fun person....I didn't really have to point that out did I?

I try to be as positive as I possibly can.

I'm a work in progress and life is in no way as easy as I make it look I just try to make the best with what I have and I'm happy but not as happy as I could be but happy none the less.

message me I would love to talk to ya. and also rate me up top if you're interested it will be the "ICE BREAKER" because I don't know any polar bears sadly. I don't bite.....unless your into that sorta thing then I guess I can give it a try, I actually think I might like it.

What you see is what you get all this for the low low price of 4 payments of 49.97 but wait!!!! if you act now we will cut ALL 4 payments!!!! that's right!!! all 4 payments !!! so you get it all!!! the super nice guy in gem mint 10 condition never used before and I mean that in every sense lol ....But wait there's more!!!! if you act with in the next 5 min you get an all expense paid date!!!! that's right all expense paid!!! this offer will only last long so act now supply's are limited!!!!!.

My Youtube:
and a video of a person that gives me hope lol.

So did I do a good job selling myself? Oh I almost forgot!
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!! bet that other guy dont give you that! lol

I actually don't know if I should put this here because I don't want it to seem like i'm being picky or anything like that so please don't take it that way they're just some things that catch my attention.-
I like when women wear little to no makeup at all, not to say that I don't like makeup I just think its not needed as much as you girls may think but thats just my opinion yea I'm a strange one. I like girls with and a nice thick head of hair! hair is the first thing I notice about a girl also nice cheeks (no not them cheeks lol get your mind out the gutter lol) but I guess that wouldn't hurt though.
I just like hair so I can play around with it and because I have deprived myself from being able to do that all my life so I think I deserve it please Lol.
(if you have that hair that looks like it should be in a shampoo commercial or nice thick long hair or curly hair I just love nice hair so if you do please just stop reading my overly long profile and message me because you get a free pass and don't need to suffer reading the rest. I also really like when a girl can put on a nice dress sometimes but not the type that has half your butt hanging out of it. And also I go for the more laid back simple girls someone who lets her inner child shine through but if this isn't you that doesn't mean don't message me. I'm just stating things that I like in a girl that doesn't mean I wont like you but you have to somewhat like kids because they're part of my life now and hopefully will be my life in the faaaar future "*HINT HINT*" lol. We kinda don't even need to date anymore because I told you so much so lets just go get married and call it a day.

Yea yea yea I have a bit of a soft spot I know but I have no reason to act like a hard ass its not me. i'ma nice person I like good things! like peter pan said "think happy thoughts" lol
oh wow, you know what I just realized while writing this? peter pan never kissed a girl also until Wendy came into the I living in Never Never land? Tink!!! I need to get the heck out of here! give me some pixie dust!!

After reading all this myself I will admit, yes I'm insane and should seek help and I will probably be single forever because of my situation gosh am I in trouble. lol
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making Puns.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I can make good pancakes, french toast and grilled ham & cheese samitches. im not a chef but at least I try and im not afraid to be left alone in a kitchen. I want to be able to cook for my kids one day and not just tell them to put a pizza in the microwave like I was by my father lol.

Very good at carnival games and the claw game every time I see one I need to play and I always win and sometimes I leave the prize in the machine for the next kid. wouldn't you be happy if you got a free prize. so next time if you see one look inside I may have left something for you.
Buzz: This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12. Who's in charge here?
All Aliens: [pointing up] The clawwwwwwwww!
Alien #1: The claw is our master.
Alien #2: The claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
Woody: This is ludicrous.
(one of my favorite movies ever)

I can do a really good Elmo, Blues Clues and Wall-e voice but I can only say a few phrases but my Wall-e and Elmo just about sounds like the real thing so if you ever wanted to talk to Elmo let me know its pretty legit.

I can meow just like a cat its actually pretty cool to do it and watch people looking confused as they look for the cat lol.

Puns! I am very good at hitting puns, I can make a pun up on the spot in the middle of a conversation. lets make sweet puns together if you're into that sorta thing.

Everyone tells me I should do stand up comedy because I can be funny as hell (if you haven't noticed yet) but I get stage fright.

Being on time.

Eating cannolis yes im good at eating them and I dont leave any crumbs. I would say a good cannoli is like sex but I can't say that because well ummmm im a virgin Lol.



Boardgames .( RISK , MONOPOLY , CHESS )

Rock Paper Scissors......I'm the current champion in my group of joke we throw down fierce with fierce rocks papers and scissors.

Sports. I like to play not watch them on tv unless its the
championship thing.

Being me.

Making people laugh....if i haven't made you laugh yet you have no soul.

Having to stealth around my house after I get out of the shower naked and cold cause i forgot my towel lol. this happens to much and in the winter it really sucks because the floor is really cold lol.

Saving money, I want to own my own home by the time i'm 30 maybe more then 1 or before i'm 30 and this goal I have may be a bit easier if I had someone that might also want the same thing.

I don't play video games as much as I used to but here are games I'm good in or was.....

Socom 1 2 and 3 and confrontation then it got bad and I stopped playing.

Call of duty (I actually won a tournament BIG UPS FOR ME WOOT WOOT lol but i'm """retired"""now LOL. sadly I was so good and it got boring *brushing my shoulders off* lol

Playing LittleBigPlanet with my nieces.

Super Smash Bros
(I play as Kirby bring it on I will "kick your ask". oh and just to let you know if you did manage to some how win its only because you're a girl and I let you win lol) you also automatically become my best friend if you like this game.
favorite youtube video) kick his ask!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My laugh because its funnier than what im laughing at. sometimes I cant stop laughing because I laugh at my own laugh. When I laugh I laugh in instead of letting it out....I guess I kinda sound like a Seal Hiena Monkey mix. hopefully if I start laughing if we ever date you don't run away. I was once laughing on the train and had a bunch of people staring at me and laughing at me when you hear it your life will be complete.

How good I am with kids. I can be a kids new best friend in a matter of minutes it's a special skill I have.

I've been told I have nice long eyelashes

My lack of height i am a shorter guy but if you can look OVER that than message me lol.

I'm very helpful especially to old people if I see the chance to help a old person time must stop and wait till i'm finished helping them.

I don't watch tv much but have been told I was Sheldon from big bang theory and I even took the test on okcupid and my result was Sheldon and the little I know about that show i'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
From anything good at the moment. Justin Timberlake and Jay-z (not really a fan of new hip-hop everything just went down hill if you ask me) to The Beatles and Frank Sinatra
The Weeknd - Wicked Games
The Weeknd - Earned It

I like lots of movies favorite movies of all time are anything from Disney Pixar really love Toystory and i'm not afraid to admit that the last one brought me to tears to the point where I have to struggle to hold some of it back. it hits me really hard in a soft spot and still does to this day being I grew up with that movie and I also really like UP. So really anything other than horror movies they kinda put me to sleep. Not really a TV person but I like anything about nature/animals, The Ellen Show (because she is a really good person) and Shark Tank and What Would You Do? this show has hit me in the feels lots of times.

Anything with a nice tomata sauce.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Contacts/glasses - because I cant see 2 inch's in front of me without them.
2. Family - without them my life would suck. I consider my friends my family.
3. Kids - I don't think their is anyone better with kids then me. when I'm with kids I transform into a kid and every time at some type of party I see them the first person they come running to is me saying frankie!!! frankie!! frankie!!! lol it makes me so happy making a kid happy.
4. Fruit
5. Animals. I love animals!.
6. I would like to put your name ________ <----Here
7. Childhood memories.
Bonus. Google Amazon and snow!!!
Sorry but its really hard to keep it at 6 lol
Bonus. bitches and 40's!!!
no not really.

Things I Dislike.

No hot water when getting in the shower.

People that subliminally brag.

People that think they know everything.

Not knowing what to say to a girl.


Food stuck in my teeth.

Cheaters as in people that cheat in games to win and I guess the other type of cheater to because that's never good.
(I'm not going to lie I do cheat when I'm playing with my brothers because were brothers and we like to fight and rub it in every time any of us wins so when they piss me off I do get sneaky and cheat a bit but never get caught because I'm a by the book type of person so they never see it coming from me. so you're the only one that knows this and should keep it to yourself so I can continue to get away with it, do not ruin my good guy reputation please and thank you in advanced :)

When somebody real tall or has big hair sits in front of me at the movies.

The word "VIA". seriously are people getting so lazy that they need to make up shorter ways to say things?

Lending people money then when you see them they don't bring it up like they forgot about it or they fall of the face of the earth then I need to go pay my thugs to find them and ask them nicely to pay up. I should charge interest but i'm a nice guy so I don't.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
what I will be doing in the future.

When do I need to go get my next cootie shot?

Why pimping ain't easy?

Why so many girls from Brooklyn are single.

Will I ever be able to set my relationship status on facebook to in a relationship and how many people will think it's a joke when they see it.

What people will look like when they get older.

I dreams of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!

Why is giving the camera the middle finger the new peace sign how did this happen? I wonder what the person taking the photo was thinking when he or she got the finger that started the trend.

Why can't I dance like usher? oh yea that's right! it's because I'm white lol.

I just found out Spongebob has a twitter. how the heck does he tweet from a pineapple under the sea, this is crazy! I must further investigate I will get back to you when I get to the bottom of this.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck?

What my first kiss will be like? I'm laughing already
yes you did read that right..leave me alone unless you want to be apart of it lol.

I do a lot of thinking. . . . .I think about what to think about next I think.
If you're a girl that plays games online you will love these 2 videos.

This guy hits it on the head, I wish more people thought like this....

one of my favorite youtube videos of all time
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hang out with some friends or the family. sadly I can't say much i'm just a simple guy that has been single all his life and never liked going out to bars/clubs I just don't see how people like the loudness and the effects of too much alcohol.

Or maybe on ummmm Reddit....yep.....I just went there.

Lets be serious we are all on okcupid trying to find the love of our life right? I am on here asking myself Frankie do you really think you have a chance with her?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Make this clear I'm only being so open because this is the internet and I want to entertain you because I have nothing to lose because I don't know you and will never know 99.999.9999% of you so the little effect I had on you with this profile I hope you enjoyed and enjoy the rest. oh and by the way, people I know personally don't know about some of the things I am about to tell you so the lucky few to get this far know things my childhood friends don't even know. REMEMBER ITS OK TO LAUGH DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY.


The last time I tried to impress a girl I almost drowned........yea ummm lets just say things look a lot closer in the ocean than they're when you're on the sand looking at them. This could have turned out good in my favor being that she was a certified lifeguard and the whole mouth to mouth thing but hey I might have made myself look like a fool but I did win 60 bucks, but now that I think about it I would have preferred mouth to mouth.

I find beach hair extremely sexy.

I cried like a baby at my brothers wedding and it makes me think if I cried like that at his imagine what I will be like when my time comes? I'm sorry I can't help it but I get very emotional and this time I could not hold it in.

I want to be a Mythbuster!! who doesn't.

I cried watching Mariano Rivera get his last out in Yankee Stadium.

I need to get my nails done I think .

I try my best not to curse and I have a funny and cruel story from when I was a kid why I don't but I will save that for a conversation because I think I have said too much and have nothing to talk about.

I would like to be some type of hero one day and save a life.

I cried at the end of toy story 3.....ya so what!! only real men cry..... right....I hope.. (To be honest I felt like I lost a part of my childhood at the end of the movie)

I was never given the talk about the birds and the bees...but I don't see them getting along very well though.

Want a fantasy? Ummmm I'm going to spice it up a little tiny bit. Hot passionate sex in the shower. BANG!! there you go but really though! when I get naked in the bathroom the only thing that gets turned on is the shower. maybe I should get that kiss out the way before I even think about this so hows about we make out in the rain I will settle for that. its ok you can laugh it's why I'm here! no not to have sex but to make a fool of myself and girls always say they like to laugh so its something i'm good at. This was probably completely unexpected definitely caught you off guard coming from me but I wanted to try to keep you reading and keep this interesting and I had to get this of my chest and thought it would be funny for the few people that actually got this far to read lol.

I have powers like that movie What Women Want but I take it a step further. I can read your mind through the interwebs and I will tell you what you're thinking right now......
(Your thoughts: Wow this guy is crazy)...... didn't really need powers for that its pretty obvious isn't it.

If my brothers(3) or my sister(1) ever see my profile I will never hear the end of it. you have no clue what I will have to go through every day until I die so I beg you please do not ever tell them the things I put in it or I will have to come up with an evil plot to return the favor.

for some reason I like chick flicks I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. one of my favorite movies is the ugly truth and not just because I'm in love with Katherine Heigl haaha.

My first and only drink I ever had was a Pina Colada. My head started getting warm and my face red everyone was laughing at me and I was taking baby sips but then to prove I was a man I drank it all in 1 big gulp lmao I'm a light weight so what, I don't see the point in it!!. let me just have my non alcoholic beverage and call it a day leave me alone already. Can no longer say its my only drink thanks to the power of a pretty girl and peer pressure I had my 2nd drink it was some type of apple flavored beer and I had 2 whole shot glasses full! now I can no longer call myself strong, I have failed.

I want to get into a real fight one day because I never been in a real fight before. I'm not saying I'm going to go looking for a fight but if its unavoidable and I need to defend myself or really help somebody, that will be nice lol. I just want to do it once just once pleaseeeee.

Why must I hear how good my friends sex was he had today yesterday or the night before every time I see my friends! I mean really guys is it really necessary to tell me how good it was with every single little detail. I'm not asking for a play by play and i'm not asking how sex was period so you don't need to tell me!! keep it to yourself unless I ask which I wont...ok maybe I'm kinda jealous leave me alone gosh.

I'm the person people come to when they did something they feel guilty about and can't keep it to themselves and need to get it off their chest to feel a little less guilty and I know things that I wish I didn't know. I guess I'm kinda in a way doing the same thing right now sorta. but I guess this is just one of the crappy perks that come with being the nice guy you can trust.

My first ticket ever was for riding on the sidewalk with a bike, I had to go to court for this ticket that was embarrassing and made me feel like a fake criminal. people are in the court for drunk driving, drugs, under age drinking then me a $15 ticket for riding a bicycle on a sidewalk in the bronx.....seriously this cop had nothing better to do then to stop me from riding my bike on a nice day.

Going to be honest laugh all you want it's funny, if a girl ever took my hand and put it on her butt I probably faint.
It's pretty sad I know! but this is just how you end up sadly when you respect the opposite sex and don't go out to bars and clubs and try to bring the first tipsy girl you see home with you :/

I'm a pimp because I have the magic stick.
*Yes I have found the magic stick and please DO NOT ask if you can see touch or hear it because the answer is no* and yes it does make sounds or maybe my stick just may be broken .

And we will save the best for last, DRUM ROLL PLEASE... BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM......I may or may not have ever been on a date before. Oh gosh!!!. I guess thanks for reading and I completely understand if you close this profile now lol.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
lets think about this because this may be the biggest or best decision you ever make. we may be purchasing a home together or starting a family one day so do you want me to be that guy that can possibly be asking permission from your father and or mother if I can marry you before popping the question? Disneyland isn't the only place where dreams come true, the choice is yours do what you feel is best no pressure.

You think you are up to the task of teaching me how to kiss if I bestow on you the power and responsibility to be the chosen one.

Ok seriously if you're a good old fashioned girl not too flashy and enjoy good simple fun and can appreciate a good board game.

You will dance like a crazy person with me when a song like mambo no. 5 comes on.

If you're looking to build something from a friendship and think you're ready for a relationship that will last and go the distance.

You don't smoke at all. I just cant breath that stuff i'm sorry. I have my reasons and I hope nobody is offended by this but its a very big deal breaker for me.

You are sober more than intoxicated. I don't mind if you like to drink I just want you to understand that I'm not into it and most likely wont be going out to the clubs and bars with you and your friends if that's your type of thing.

And I guess if you're interested in chit-chatting just star me and we will get an automated message saying we like each other, simple. lets call it the ice breaker because i'm not the best at it and or you can just send me a simple Hi the choice is yours.

if you did read all this well I definitely owe you something so if we hit it off and get to that stage of a date or hang out what ever you are more comfortable with calling it, it's on me it can be anything.
it would have been on me regardless because that's just the way I am so I guess this is not much of a prize Lol.

You think there is some hope left for me.
help me obi wan kenobi you're my only hope!

Oh and I have just one teenie tiny last thing to add. try to be a bit easier on guys, i'm talking about the guys that will just send a hey or hello as a first message NOT the guys that come off disrespectful taking about your body or sex you should just verbally bash their brains in lol. most people I would say are here because they find it a bit harder to start a conversation in the real word so don't take that first hi message as that person having no substance help start the conversation don't just write the person off give it a few messages because If they get a hello back they will try to get things going because they're obviously interested in you or something about you so it would light the spark some people need to get it started.
see i'm too dam nice I even try to help out my competition.