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28 Emeryville, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:54am
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Open relationship
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Describe Yourself Using Only Clichés (and apparently hyphens): Fun-loving, open-minded, outdoors-man, laid-back, devil's advocate. Super genuine, from what I'm told. ("You don't know Ginuwine?..")

MBTI: DGAF Wait that can't be right...

Snapshot of Your Life Right Now:
College > Job > Marriage > House > Kids > Divorce. Oh wait, you mean there's other options!? I like to think that I woke up just in time. Radical seeds of thought, buried years ago, have since transformed into a dense ideological forrest. Light shines faintly through the lush canopy, but blah blah beautiful metaphor. See.. deep like the fuckin' Mariana. To be real for a moment, I have my shit together. I also have some pretty grand goals for the future, in fact if I didn't know better, I'd say this guy's got upper management written all over him. No 35yr corporate prison sentence for me, thanks. This has become wonderfully absurd. Ok, ok.. so you're clearly not getting a straight answer here. We can do the internet small talk if you insist. But personally, I don't care if you're a wanderlusting-half-marathon-running-dolores-park-loving-foodie that works hard plays harder. I just want to meet people with a cool outlook on life.

Sense of Humor:
If you get any of these references then.. um.. booyah! We have something in common. But you know, differences are pretty rad too.
"You're out of your element Donnie!"
"You have to dominate the swordfish, only then can you sauté it."
"We know you had a great time last night Frank, I think the whole town knows you had a great time."
"Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern."
"The sea was angry that day my friends..."
"I can't live knowing Ted Danson makes that much more than me."
"Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow the lawn?"
"I'm getting my turtleneck. I'm not diffusing a bomb in this!?"
"Half man, half bear-pig."
"Bitch betta have my honey!"
"Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets."
"It's a trap!"
"...ya know we're up on stage with armadillos in our trousers..."
"They're illusions Michael, tricks are what whores do for money."
"I'm fiscally responsible, but sexually out of control."
"Wildcard bitches!"

A Book, Any book, Talk About a Book:
The Book of the Damned - Charles Fort
You don't have to believe anything in this book to get the message. In fact, Fort doesn't even necessarily subscribe to his own explanations. But they're just as plausible as the widely accepted truths of the day. It's incredibly thought provoking and will make you question almost everything you've ever learned.

Most Recent Concert/Event:
"Sleep No More" at the McKittrick Hotel in NYC. Holy shit... sex, murder, intrigue

Chico State. Made it out alive...


Acheivements and Such:
+ I was a roadie for Metallica on their Speed of
Sound tour. Bunch of assholes.
+ I taught Bear Grylls everything he knows.
+ I'm a retired semi-pro wakeboarder.
+ Nearly placed third in the Iron Man triathlon,
but crashed and caused a 10-bike pile up at
the finish line. You may have seen the footage
on ESPN not top 10.
+ I trained the very first dachshund guide dog.
(Some said it couldn't be done due to their
small stature and affinity for biting children)
+ I recently painted a total Bob Ross masterpiece, but then lit it ablaze... for the world is not yet ready for such greatness.

+++ What the fuck is this guy talking about?