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54 M Reston, VA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 38–52
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:16pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm an Army brat, ex Navy pilot, ex airline pilot, and current cubicle minion. I've already retired twice and I can't wait until retirement number three! I've lived all over the place including Michigan, Hawaii, Colorado and Germany, but moved here a few years ago. I have 3 kids; 2 in college along with a junior in high school (updated Aug 2014!!!). They spend most of the time at their mom's house a couple of miles away, but even then, they don't need much in terms of maintenance. I'm just a $20 bill dispenser so they can go eat for the 8th time of the day before they go to a friend's house to "study".

I'm looking for a friend, lover, confidant, dinner date, travel companion, vacation arm candy, winery accomplice, museum/fine arts enabler, clothing store consultant, and somebody willing to receive spontaneous though wildly inappropriate texts that will make you laugh but also make you hate yourself for doing so. In return, I will kill spiders, investigate noises, carry groceries, listen to your complaints, and keep your feet warm in bed.

After a LOT of trial and error, I've come up with a few preferences that I'm looking for in a match. These are rather flexible since the most fulfilling dates and/or relationships I've ever had came from women I initially thought I had nothing in common with. That said, I'd prefer somebody with a thin or athletic body type, my height or shorter, with kids of their own, and financially secure. The preferred candidate should be equipped with a quick wit and an absurd yet improper sense of humor. I'm fairly liberal in politics, but that should not be a problem if you're open to dialogue and new ideas. I'm a biker (the pedal kind), hiker, gym rat and hockey participant (I don't want to get real hockey "players" mad at me), but I don't expect you to feel you have to go with me. Physical activity is how I relax. I don't remember the last time I went to a happy hour, unless it was on a date.

So I really don't have a "type". However, I do have a list of NON-types. Please pass me by if any of them apply to you.

1) A dude (in drag or otherwise)
2) Married - As in, your husband doesn't know you're single.
3) One of those batsh#t crazy Tea Partyers
4) Smoker. Smoking while drinking is ok as long as it's not in bed and then it depends what part of you is smoking. ;-)
5) Uber AAA++++ hard charging people who love power and expensive stuff and the people who have it. Totally not me.
6) Religious or non-religious zealot
7) Kid haters
8) One eyed hermaphrodite ax murderers. You know who you are.

Did I mention I still have free flight benefits to anywhere in the WORLD? I'd hate to have that extra seat go to waste...

Quick update: Why does everybody live in Maryland? You might as well be on the moon the way traffic is around here. Please live relatively close. I have risked my life and sanity on The Bridge of Agony too many times already. Though...maybe just one more time.....
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for my keys. And my socks. Then my keys again.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
First dates! Second dates, not so much. ⁀⊙﹏☉⁀
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a lot quieter than I let on in this profile. Oh, and I have green eyes and I'm not tall. DC is blessed with beautiful, intelligent, and freakishly tall women who wear high heels just for spite. Just remember, if you can see the spot on the top of my head where I was struck by lightening, I can see straight up your nostrils.
(note - I have no issues with tall women or their long as they don't put a pointy hat on my head and place me in their garden)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'll eat, read or watch almost anything. I don't really watch a lot of TV, though I did sit through an entire episode of Honey Boo Boo with my daughter. I cried in the shower for almost an hour after that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Teh Internets.
2) Spell check.
3) "Clear Browser History"
4) Little chocolate donuts - power food of the gods.
5) Sunshine
6) More Cowbell
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
(crickets chirping)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing what I do every other night. I'm not really sure. Why do you want to know?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
All I'm going to say is that you can't trust a Mexican donkey.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're reading this, alone on a Friday night, an empty box of wine at your elbow, and you think...... what the hell?