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22 Cleveland, TN Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:31pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Working on university
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has dogs and dislikes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There's a reason why my parents decided not to have any more children after I was born. It's because both of them were too satisfied with me. Also it's because they hated each other and were too old to procreate again anyway.

Here I am, a bachelor. Speaking of dates, let's go over some of the important dates you can know if you want to:

September 29, 1992 - the month, day, and year I was born.

May 18, 2001 - The day my dad came home angry because my mom's male "friend" was mowing the lawn. My dad and I went to see Shrek that night.

September 10, 2001 - I kid you not, that night I whispered "tomorrow is September 11th" right before closing my eyes and falling asleep that night.

September 11, 2001 - Jay Z's Blueprint album was released. Many years later it would become one of my favorite rap albums to date.

September 28, 2002 - The day before my tenth birthday. I rode a bike (that was too small for me in the first place ) too fast down a steep hill and I ended up breaking the bone behind my knee cap. I was sidelined for a long time and I gained a bunch of fat as a result of not being able to move around. I was fat for four and a half years. In ninth grade I heroically lost the weight. People started treating me differently when they realized they were either jealous of me or attracted to me all along.

Friday June 5, 2009 - I saw the Hangover for the first time and it was great. Oh, and a relative of mine was born that day too, which was nice.

Sunday May 22, 2011 - I was in the passenger seat of a Honda CR-V. My hotshot friend tried to turn a corner too fast and the car flipped and rolled four times. I was within a hair of getting smashed into a tree. I escaped unscathed.

June 17, 2012 - The day I lost my virginity. I know this might be a little TMI, but I can't stress enough how much it meant. Virginity was a huge burden on me and it made me think that I could possibly become like the main character of a film released August 19, 2005 - The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Late December 2012 - First time I made straight A's in a semester in college. It would have made me cry if I were a sentimental person.

As far as entertainment goes, I like commitment, entertainment, talking about furniture, cooking for other people, listening, gossiping, and taking initiative. Oh and I am looking to get some action - and by "action", I mean "adventure". Let me take you somewhere where everything is so nice that you don't need cell phone reception.

I want someone who I can spoil and dress up. I want you to be the subject of other women's envy and make them agonize over their mate choices. You deserve to have someone you can brag about to other people.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
let's just say that I will be living comfortably in the future. You can't go wrong with studying medicine.

If my new workout routine yields good enough results, I might look into male stripping. By that I mean stripping my own clothes off for money. I wouldn't take other people's clothes off for money because that would be prostitution.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My boyish charm and my contagious, intoxicating spirit. The boyish charm has been a trademark of mine since my teenage years. I'm surprised no one tried to statutorily rape me back then.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Freakonomics, You Are Not So Smart, The Most Human Human, Pym, The Illustrated Atlas of the Human Body

Movies: Drive, Cape Fear, The Wolf of Wall Street, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Sideways, Boogie Nights, Mean Girls, Silver Linings Playbook, Inglorious Basterds, Silence of the Lambs, Fight Club, Superbad, American Beauty, Tropic Thunder

TV: Modern Family, Girls, The Simpsons, The Newsroom, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bob's Burgers, Orange is the New Black

Music: Freddie Gibbs, Grizzly Bear, Killer Mike, Big Boi, Andre 3000, Arcade Fire, Danny Brown, Spark Master Tape, The Strokes, Department of Eagles, Jay Electronica, and like the first 2-3 Weezer albums.

Food: Outback Steakhouse, Chili's, Mexican, Japanese Hibachi, Olive Garden
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Gold Bond powder

2. Medium roast black coffee, as long as it's from a reputable coffee shop

3. Keurig K-cup brewer

4. Grand Theft Auto V

5. Women. If they didn't exist, I wouldn't either.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the wild adventures I'm going to go on, as well as who I might bring along with me :)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
unable to walk straight because I thought I could handle "just one more"
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You remember how I said Breaking Bad was one of my favorite shows on television? Well... I haven't seen all of the episodes, and no, I haven't watched them in order. I actually watched the series finale before seeing any episodes from the first season.
You should message me if
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