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friendpolarbear

32 M Dundee, UK

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–50
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Oct 19
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on Ph.D program
Job
Student
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Icelandic (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly), Other (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
OKCupid assumes you're so tragically desperate for a date that you, by default, don't want to see non-single people in your search results. That's pretty insulting if you think about it, and, especially after scrapping the journals and hiding the forums, makes it quite difficult to use this site for other, platonic forms of social connection.

However, there being a positive in every negative, the very fact that you're here suggests that you have quite deliberately divined the obscure method to searching for non-single people. Not only is that something for which you ought to be congratulated, it also spares us an awkward exchange about each other's intentions.

That notwithstanding, if I'm not looking for a girlfriend, what am I looking for? "To make friends" is a little vague. I'd like to meet people to play games with (particularly tabletop board/card/roleplaying games - I already have enough people to play video games with and finding someone to play mind games with is reserved for when I'm single). I'd like to meet people to chat with - about music, movies, languages, games or anything interesting. I'd like to meet people to drink with like we're still 21. Also I'd like to meet an astronaut but I think I might be on the wrong site for that.

I'm a nerd. I'm a former (but not reformed) goth. I'm a former (but not reformed) Linux user. I'm an autodidact. I use italics, which will be lost on you if you're viewing this via the mobile app. I hate the fact that my username uses the noun 'friend' rather than the adjective 'friendly', but 'friendlypolarbear' was too long for OKCupid's name input. I sometimes pretend to be a musician and am actually a former (but not reformed) failed rock star (can I use 'former' in that context?). And those are some statements about me.

But the two main things in my life are games and stories. Combining these two things seems obvious, but there is a well-established tension between them (though I have my own ideas about why) and my life's goal is to make steps towards reconciling that.

Although I've accurately described myself as not having any kids on that sidebar over there, my girlfriend does have a wee daughter and I love the little monster.

I'm not going to disclose my real name here, but you may call me 'you'. You may not call me 'u'. If you're cute you can call me anything you like. Except 'u'. If I can call you Betty, then Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al.

If I had to sum myself up in three words, it would be "not impressing anyone".
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Attempting to design a non-genre-specific video game.
Writing up a PhD thesis in interactive storytelling.
Learning Japanese.
Writing music.
Trying to learn how to digital art (I'm very good with computers; with art, not so much).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Thinking. I'm often accused of putting too much thought and effort into something when I'm just being my natural self. When I do put too much thought into something, you'll know, because it will be awkward and contrived.

Not taking it personally when people don't respond to my messages. Let's be real here: I'd like a response, but you don't owe me anything, you have other things going on, and you're capable of making up your own mind about whether or not us being friends fits in your life. That's it. There is no joke in this paragraph.

Keeping my yelling "computers do not work that way!" at TV shows internal. Which is just as well, because it would be embarrassing if I blurted that out when computers not working that way was the whole point. The X-Files caught me out like that.

Talking bollocks in a way that makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about. This is a useful skill, and so far I've done three years of a PhD without anyone catching on.

Spelling. But u cn c that, cnt u?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am a nerve-stapled Feminist Gaming Illuminati mandrone white-knighting mangina. And proud of it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I would prefer to associate with someone who reads than someone who doesn't, but I would prefer to associate with someone who doesn't read than someone who subscribes to the narcissistic elitism that a work is more meritorious purely by virtue of being written down and those who read are therefore Better. On top of that, much as I do love chatting about books, reading is a fairly solitary activity compared with the experiencing of other media. That said, I'm currently reading 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. Some other favourites are Philip K. Dick, Iain Banks (sci-fi nerd though I am, I think I prefer him sans 'M': a favourite of his is Complicity) and Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I would like to read some more Neal Stephenson and Stanislaw Lem.

As for movies, my favourite film is probably Pom Poko and I generally like Studio Ghibli's output. I also like Satoshi Kon. I wish Paul McGuigan (Lucky Number Slevin, Push) made more films - he's a director who really understands there is no need for compromise between a film being smart and complex and being cool and sexy.

I like music, but I don't like to be too specific about my tastes, because my tastes aren't all that specific. Basically, if you're that interested, go ahead and last.fm me. Recently I've been listening to a lot of Ryuichi Sakamoto. I also like Momus, The National, Mogwai, The Birthday Massacre and The Delgados. I have a rather geeky taste for video game music and am semi-unembarrassed to like MOSAIC.WAV - they make me happy! The #1 song when I was born was Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. This I also like.

Speaking of games, I have decided that my favourite is Persona 4 because, despite its fantastical elements, it's just so human. I suppose I generally like games with strong stories (whether embedded or emergent), but I also like Batman: Arkham City because, as hit-and-miss as the writing is, you get to be Batman! Apart from stories, I like games with a strong sense of place that I can explore. I'm not very competitive, so if I'm playing with other people, I'd rather play cooperatively. This really goes back to what I was saying about books. My interest in multiplayer is about sharing the experience of playing. In the Google tradition of using site names as verbs, go ahead and Darkadia me.

My favourite shows on YouTube are MyMusic (kinda like The Office but good), and Tabletop. On Crunchyroll I just got done watching Shin Sekai Yori and thought it was mostly a work of sheer beauty. On Netflix and DVDs I like Doctor Who, Fringe, Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes and various other things with a good balance of sci-fi, mystery, drama and being funny, so obviously Joss Whedon's stuff. I am quite liable to throw around quotes from Spaced. On TV... oh, who watches channels that stick to a certain broadcast schedule any more? Seriously, it's the 21st century.

As food goes, I used to be a vegetarian but I no longer am. Sorry. If it's an egg dish, I like it. Unless it's a mushroom omelette. Mushrooms do not belong in my mouth.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
An internet connection. This used to be because I was really interested in it as a phenomenon, but now I think that in a few years, this answer will be as obvious as 'air' or 'water' that 'people' put in this list when they're 'trying' to be 'funny'.

Videogames are very important to me. If you think they're a waste of time, you're a waste of time and so's your mum. It's bewildering to me how the medium that gave us Twilight can be lauded as worthy, but the medium that gave us things like Thomas Was Alone still can't get taken seriously.

A city. I might currently live out in the middle of nowhere, but I'd go crazy if I couldn't get to a city (usually Dundee at the moment) at least once a fortnight.

Some kind of project to give me a sense of achievement, whether it's learning a new language, writing some music, or creating a game.

A companion to join me on my time-hopping adventures. Or just friends and family in general.

I can't decide between coffee and green tea, so they'll hold a joint spot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to quantify the essentially unquantifiable. Doing science to subjective responses.

Who came up with the order of the alphabet and why they chose that order. And, more to the point, why we treat this ordering as some immutable law of nature when it's really just something some ancient dude made up.

Why people still use the phrase "turn of the century" to refer to the turn of a different century.

Games, and particularly the unique narrative potentials of the medium which literature and film could never do.

Why the pro-Oxford-comma crowd keep resorting to the ridiculous strawman that we 'againsters' think it shouldn't be used at all. No-one thinks that; we merely think it should only be used when it has any clarifying value, rather than all the damn time. Obviously. The bonus is that that's actually the position the Oxford Style Manual also takes.

Whether or not I really would go back and kill Hitler if I had a time machine. I think I probably wouldn't: if those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, then time-travellers who change history doom everyone else.

Japan, Japanese, and why "alveolar lateral flap", which is a technical term for a distinctly Japanese phoneme (usually romanised as 'r'), seems to have been designed to be as difficult as possible for Japanese people to pronounce.

The functional difference between a polymath and a dilettante. Currently I think polymaths are just more organised.

Extra Stuff...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing imagination games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get irritated by people who say that swearing indicates a lack of vocabulary. I suppose the idea is that people should use synonyms instead, but this pretty much ignores the facts that a) at worst synonymy indicates an imprecise semantic similarity, rather than semantic identity, and b) at best, synonymy only works on a semantic level, ignoring the affective level: People who claim this have no poetry in their souls and implicitly endorse a kind of unemotional Orwellian Newspeak - by implying that words are interchangeable, they are saying that we might as well not have so many words. I mean really: Just because excessive profanity is involved in affecting the braggadocio of the less salubrious sections of society, does that mean the rest of us should swear (heh) off it? For fuck's sake.

Ok, that's not very private, but I needed to get it off my chest. More private: I suffer from depression. It's a thing. However, I already have a counsellor and don't want another one.

I guess I'll also admit why I'm listed as only looking for girls (though you can of course ignore the "who like guys" part - OKC's options are limited) when I'm just looking for friends. The thing is, while I've come to terms with accepting women as real, individual people, I do still have some weird, unresolved feelings about men. Truth be told, they scare me a little bit. Men, I mean. Not feelings. Well, feelings too.

Also I technically live in Alyth but I spend a lot of time in Dundee and, realistically, if we were to meet, it would more likely be in a city than the middle of nowhere. Still, my profile location is technically a lie.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1) You tripped and fell and accidentally sent me a message. It's ok. It happens.

2) You want to talk. Or want to point out what's wrong with my profile. Or want to point out what's wrong with me. Or want to tell me which particular brand of hell you think I'm going to burn in.

3) You want to geek out about, well, anything. I love a good geeky chat.

4) You have an inclination to do something you suspect you might be too old for, and want someone else you suspect might be too old for it to join you.

5) You are not actively pursuing a relationship. Or are pursuing one, just not with me. Or are pursuing one with me and don't mind disappointment. Or are married to me and I'm just somehow unaware of it and our three children who are for some reason dressed like Victorian street urchins. Or are a creepy stalker. Actually, don't message me if you're that last one. Just go away. Unless you're also cute.

6) You want to drag me away from the internet and do something fun. A lot of my interests are less than cleverly hidden in plain sight in this profile, so, you know, go ahead.

7) I have visited your profile but not said anything. I have a rule that I don't send a message unless I can easily think of something to say. That, to me, indicates that we might have something to talk about, which is far more interesting than a heavily contrived message I've had to think about too much. But if you think we have something to talk about that I've missed, go ahead.

8) Your profile contains any variation on the theme of, "Anything you want to know, just ask." I am sorry, but I'm not going to ask anything unless you give me a reason to want to know anything, so the onus is on you.

Generally, if you have something to say to me, go ahead and say something.

You shouldn't message me if

You have answered your match questions in such a way as to indicate that you believe the Earth is bigger than the Sun. Or, actually, no, you totally should, because I want to know how you reached that conclusion.