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friendpolarbear

30 / M / Straight / Seeing someone

Edinburgh, United Kingdom

His journal posts

OKCupid is mocking me.

Nov 17, 2008

After my post yesterday about women who are interesting but of whom I am terrified, I had another addition to my quiver who perfectly fits that description.

I think in some cases it's a total emphasis on sex. I'm no prude - far from it - but making that sound like the most important thing in the world is really intimidating. Clearly either these women have no idea about the excessive cultural pressure that exists on males to, ahem, perform well - that we're worthless if we don't or can't - or they are bitches and just don't care.

Or maybe it's not like that at all. Any woman who's serious about finding a date or a relationship on this site knows not to mention sex, because that's a total guarantee to get a lot of pointless, stupid messages from the wrong kind of guys if they do that. Any woman, however, who is serious about getting attention should definitely mention sex as much as possible. Frankly I've had enough of attention whores. No thanks.

To dispel the illusion that perhaps exists that there is a raging misogyny bubbling under this post, I did talk to a very nice woman yesterday. Interesting and not scary. Also not in Scotland, though. Sigh.
After my post yesterday about women who are interesting but of whomI am terrified, I had another addition to my quiver who perfectlyfits that description.

I think in some cases it's a total emphasis on sex. I'm no prude -far from it - but making that sound like the most important thingin the world is really intimidating. Clearly either these womenhave no idea about the excessive cultural pressure that exists onmales to, ahem, perform well - that we're worthless if we don't orcan't - or they are bitches and just don't care.

Or maybe it's not like that at all. Any woman who's serious aboutfinding a date or a relationship on this site knows not to mentionsex, because that's a total guarantee to get a lot of pointless,stupid messages from the wrong kind of guys if they do that. Anywoman, however, who is serious about getting attention shoulddefinitely mention sex as much as possible. Frankly I've had enoughof attention whores. No thanks.

To dispel the illusion that perhaps exists that there is a ragingmisogyny bubbling under this post, I did talk to a very nice womanyesterday. Interesting and not scary. Also not in Scotland, though.Sigh.
OKCupid is mocking me.

Confidence

Nov 16, 2008

Why does it feel like most of the people who seem interesting to me (at least within Scotland) are people whom I cannot message because they'd more likely than not bite me in half?

Well, I am feeling a good deal more fragile than usual right now, so that's almost certainly a contributing factor. It may also explain why I have failed to impress those few who don't absolutely terrify me with my underconfident messaging style which is really nothing more than nervous blabbering.

Being underconfident on the internet is a strange experience. Normally there's this shell of web-anonymity (or at least pseudonymity, which this site has too, though it doesn't work in the same way) which offers that confidence boost. That's probably also why people feel free to be such idiots on the web, too, but for us guys who are not stupid, just shy, it's a massive boon. It doesn't work on this site, though.
Why does it feel like most of the people who seem interesting to me(at least within Scotland) are people whom I cannot message becausethey'd more likely than not bite me in half?

Well, I am feeling a good deal more fragile than usual right now,so that's almost certainly a contributing factor. It may alsoexplain why I have failed to impress those few who don't absolutelyterrify me with my underconfident messaging style which is reallynothing more than nervous blabbering.

Being underconfident on the internet is a strange experience.Normally there's this shell of web-anonymity (or at leastpseudonymity, which this site has too, though it doesn't work inthe same way) which offers that confidence boost. That's probablyalso why people feel free to be such idiots on the web, too, butfor us guys who are not stupid, just shy, it's a massive boon. Itdoesn't work on this site, though.
Confidence

Why is this argument still used?

Sep 24, 2008

Right, this is a comment I just saw on the Times Online website. It's an argument that's been furiously debunked many many (many) times, so it's sad that I have to say it again. Maybe one day people will actually pay attention and stop using arguments that make no freakin' sense.

Science has confirmed evolution to be impossible. Something can't evolve just because you throw more time at it. The 2nd law of thermodynamics confirms this. Monkeys aren't giving birth to man today are they? They never did. Check out the Entropy law. Weird how it all goes against scientific laws.


The Second Law of Thermodynamics applies in a closed system, which the Earth isn't. Even within a closed system, the entropy is not consistent, and there can be localised decreases in entropy, as long as there is a global increase in entropy (i.e. other parts of the system are increasing in entropy faster than the one localised part is decreasing in entropy).

The Second Law of Thermodynamics poses a problem for the Theory of Evolution. I mean, the only way it's possible for evolution to not contradict this law is if the Earth had some kind of external power source. Something, like, say, a thermonuclear furnace. But not just any thermonuclear furnace: it would have to be a pretty huge one. Maybe if it were 1.9891*1030kg in mass, 1,392,000,000 km in diameter, with a core temperature of about 15,600,000 degrees Kelvin and an energy output of 3.86*1020 megawatts... If this whole hypothetical engine sat at a distance of about 149,600,000,000 km away from the Earth, that might be enough to power evolution without breaking the Second Law of Thermodynamics. But where would we find such an engine?

Here is where the response normally ends, but I would like to take a moment to reflect on the irony that, before Abrahamisation, there were many cultures who worshipped the Sun as the giver of life. Creationists' Abrahamic forebears of course considered such heathen nonsense to be primitive superstition, so killed or converted them. How embarrassing that it suddenly turns out that the Sun is (figuratively speaking) the giver of life, and not believing that the "primitive superstition"...
Right, this is a comment I just saw on the Times Online website.It's an argument that's been furiously debunked many many (many)times, so it's sad that I have to say it again. Maybe one daypeople will actually pay attention and stop using arguments thatmake no freakin' sense.

Science has confirmed evolution to be impossible.Something can't evolve just because you throw more time at it. The2nd law of thermodynamics confirms this. Monkeys aren't givingbirth to man today are they? They never did. Check out the Entropylaw. Weird how it all goes against scientific laws.


The Second Law of Thermodynamics applies in a closed system, whichthe Earth isn't. Even within a closed system, the entropy is notconsistent, and there can be localised decreases in entropy, aslong as there is a global increase in entropy (i.e. other parts ofthe system are increasing in entropy faster than the one localisedpart is decreasing in entropy).

The Second Law of Thermodynamics poses a problem for the Theory ofEvolution. I mean, the only way it's possible for evolution to notcontradict this law is if the Earth had some kind of external powersource. Something, like, say, a thermonuclear furnace. But not justany thermonuclear furnace: it would have to be a pretty huge one.Maybe if it were 1.9891*1030kg in mass, 1,392,000,000 kmin diameter, with a core temperature of about 15,600,000 degreesKelvin and an energy output of 3.86*1020 megawatts... Ifthis whole hypothetical engine sat at a distance of about149,600,000,000 km away from the Earth, that might be enough topower evolution without breaking the Second Law of Thermodynamics.But where would we find such an engine?

Here is where the response normally ends, but I would like to takea moment to reflect on the irony that, before Abrahamisation, therewere many cultures who worshipped the Sun as the giver of life.Creationists' Abrahamic forebears of course considered such heathennonsense to be primitive superstition, so killed or converted them.How embarrassing that it suddenly turns out that the Sunis (figuratively speaking) the giver of life, andnot believing that the "primitive superstition"...
Why is this argument still used?

Matching

Feb 11, 2008

Goffman's 1952 Matching Hypothesis states that people are more likely to form lasting relationships with people of a similar level of physical attractiveness.

While I'm still not 100% convinced that this hypothesis holds, it has been experimentally confirmed several times, so it's at least worth thinking about. This seems to rely on the idea that physical attractiveness is objective, which I'm not sure about, but if it's not, then an average of subjective opinions may be close enough provided there's no confirmation bias in those opinions.

How does that apply to the matching on this site? Well, even if the average of ratings people have been given for looks is used in determining matching (and I suspect it's not), there is interference from so-called 'internet disease'. Definition from urbandictionary (117 up, 3 down): " People on the internet have pictures of themselves in which they look far more attractive than they really are. Quite often from odd angles, unique lighting, or a combination of both."

Clearly this means that people with a better aesthetic sense appear to be more attractive. I'm certain if it was studied, there would be a correlation which shows that art-school graduates appear to be more attractive than engineers, regardless of their level of attractiveness "in real life". But there's really no way around this short of enforcing passport-like photo restrictions, where everyone looks ugly. And that would be a shame.

It has been suggested (Huston, 1976) that the fact that this hypothesis has been confirmed suggests not that people are innately driven to seek partners of the same level of physical attractiveness, but simply refrain from choosing more attractive partners for fear of rejection. That sounds a little more plausible.

On the other hand, my last relationship lasted six years, and we got together before I even knew what she looked like because of this crazy interweb thing. Anecdotal evidence may not be admissible, but it's something to think about.
Goffman's 1952 Matching Hypothesis states that people are morelikely to form lasting relationships with people of a similar levelof physical attractiveness.

While I'm still not 100% convinced that this hypothesis holds, ithas been experimentally confirmed several times, so it's at leastworth thinking about. This seems to rely on the idea that physicalattractiveness is objective, which I'm not sure about, but if it'snot, then an average of subjective opinions may be close enoughprovided there's no confirmation bias in those opinions.

How does that apply to the matching on this site? Well, even if theaverage of ratings people have been given for looks is usedin determining matching (and I suspect it's not), there isinterference from so-called 'internet disease'. Definition fromurbandictionary (117 up, 3 down): " People on the internet havepictures of themselves in which they look far more attractive thanthey really are. Quite often from odd angles, unique lighting, or acombination of both."

Clearly this means that people with a better aesthetic sense appearto be more attractive. I'm certain if it was studied, there wouldbe a correlation which shows that art-school graduates appear to bemore attractive than engineers, regardless of their level ofattractiveness "in real life". But there's really no way aroundthis short of enforcing passport-like photo restrictions, whereeveryone looks ugly. And that would be a shame.

It has been suggested (Huston, 1976) that the fact that thishypothesis has been confirmed suggests not that people are innatelydriven to seek partners of the same level of physicalattractiveness, but simply refrain from choosing more attractivepartners for fear of rejection. That sounds a little moreplausible.

On the other hand, my last relationship lasted six years, and wegot together before I even knew what she looked like because ofthis crazy interweb thing. Anecdotal evidence may not beadmissible, but it's something to think about.
Matching

(Untitled)

Feb 8, 2008

Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right?
  • Yes.
  • No.
Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right? Personally I don't believe in Intelligent Design, so I suppose I should just answer 'no'. But the wording of the question is 'could'... and that changes things a bit.

But then it depends on the definition of Intelligent Design. In the 70's and 80's, "Intelligent Design" meant theistic evolution -- that evolution occurred, but some god guided the process. Today "Intelligent Design" is a synonym for Creationism, which totally refutes evolution. The former includes evolution in its worldview, the latter completely rejects it. And thus, they are also mutually incompatible. This makes a huge difference to the answer, and in fact dictates the answer.

How can anyone possibly answer that question accurately?
Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right?
  • Yes.
  • No.
Could Evolution and Intelligent Design both be right? Personally Idon't believe in Intelligent Design, so I suppose I should justanswer 'no'. But the wording of the question is 'could'... and thatchanges things a bit.

But then it depends on the definition of Intelligent Design. In the70's and 80's, "Intelligent Design" meant theistic evolution --that evolution occurred, but some god guided the process. Today"Intelligent Design" is a synonym for Creationism, which totallyrefutes evolution. The former includes evolution in its worldview,the latter completely rejects it. And thus, they are also mutuallyincompatible. This makes a huge difference to the answer,and in fact dictates the answer.

How can anyone possibly answer that question accurately?