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friendpolarbear

32 Glasgow, UK Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–42
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 3:16pm
Orientation
Straight, Demisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Icelandic (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly), Other (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[Before we get started, I don't actually live in Glasgow, but I'm planning to move there around the new year. In the meantime it's not terribly difficult for me to get there for a visit, although the same is true of any city in Scotland.]

I feel like Mr. Vernon has asked me to write an essay about who I think I am. Each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

Since this is a dating site, I suppose I should demonstrate that I am an "alpha male". As a software engineer, 'alpha' to me means a work-in-progress, unstable and feature-incomplete. Sounds like an apt description, really.

When I was young, the Teletext personal ads used to say "Looking for friendship, maybe more!" and I always thought that was so desperately disingenuous. And yet, today I suppose that's exactly what I'm looking for. I've been around the OKCupid block a few times (I actually just realised I've been on this site nearly a decade!), and I don't believe in placing too high of an expectation on a particular outcome.

But "looking for friendship" is a little vague. I'd like to meet people to play games with. I'd like to meet people to chat with - about music, movies, languages, games or anything interesting. I'd like to meet people to go on adventures with. I'd like to meet people to drink with like we're still 21. Also I'd like to meet an astronaut but I think I might be on the wrong site for that.

I am very interested in video games, but I am especially interested to see what they can do other than shooting mans in the face. Not that I don't enjoy shooting mans in the face, but it's kind of been done. A lot. A very lot. I think there's a lot of largely untapped potential for other experiences there. Oh, and games are totally art. Anyone who says otherwise not only doesn't understand games, but also thinks art criticism stopped around 1900. More importantly, games are for everyone, just like any other medium. I am very much against exclusionary gatekeeping definitions of the term 'gamer'. A gamer is anyone who plays games. Doesn't matter what kind.

Recently got into intersectional feminism (which may explain why I enjoy shooting mans in the face so much). I am super interested in what makes people who they are, their identity, and where the line between social role and true self is. There are still some important rights that women, people of colour, and trans people need, but for me it's less about 'rights' and more about power and value - that's where the real imbalance is (and, of course, if these people had more power and were valued more, they'd get the rights they need almost automatically anyway).

I am a nerd about many things, but other than video games, another big one is language and linguistics. If it bothers the fuck out of you that my username contains the noun 'friend' rather than the adjective 'friendly', I could hug you. The truth is "friendlypolarbear" was too many characters for the entry field. If you know what, say, 'CPV2' means, I have to inform you we are already married.

Sometimes I pretend to music. I used to write songs but recently I've been a lot more writing music for games. I am not good at it, but I like it.

I'm not going to disclose my real name here, but you may call me 'you'. You may not call me 'u'. If you're cute you can call me anything you like. Except 'u'. If I can call you Betty, then Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al.

If I had to sum myself up in three words, it would be "not impressing anyone".
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Making video games.
Trying to deprogram myself of unconscious prejudices.
Learning Japanese.
Writing music.
Trying to learn how to digital art (I'm very good with computers; with art, not so much).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Shooting mans in the face. AND IN THE GAME.

Being funny when I'm not trying to be.

Writing about games / interactive storytelling.

Not taking it personally.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am a nerve-stapled Feminist Gaming Illuminati mandrone white-knighting mangina. And proud of it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm currently reading Player One by Douglas Coupland for fiction, and The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein for non-fiction. Some other favourites are The Collector by John Fowles, anything by Haruki Murakami, Philip K. Dick, Jasper Fforde, Iain Banks (sci-fi nerd though I am, I think I prefer him sans 'M': a favourite of his is Complicity) and Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I would like to read some more Neal Stephenson and Stanislaw Lem.

As for movies, my favourite film is probably Pom Poko and I generally like Studio Ghibli's output. I like the Three Flavours Ice Cream trilogy, all the MCU movies thus far, and I have a very conflicted love-hate relationship with Will Ferrell. I love films about mental health like I'm a Cyborg and That's Ok, Englar Alheimsins, Perfect Blue and A Scanner Darkly. Speaking of Perfect Blue, I love Satoshi Kon's other films, particularly Tokyo Godfathers, and speaking of A Scanner Darkly, adaptations of Philip K. Dick's work generally fall into the camps of 'amazing' or 'awful'. Astrópía is another favourite - think High Fidelity meets Dungeons & Dragons.

I like music, but my favourites rotate frequently. Basically, if you're that interested, go ahead and last.fm me. Ryuichi Sakamoto is a perennial favourite. Right now I'm listening to Jens Lekman. He's great, when I'm in a twee indie sort of mood. Other times it could be some post-rock like Mogwai, or some symphonic metal like Kamelot. Or Radiohead or The National or The Birthday Massacre or loads of others.

I feel games are left out of this question because of some weird idea that they're not for everybody, but I'm going to talk about them anyway. My favourite games cross traditional ideas of genre but are undoubtedly those that contain some kind of human element. Gone Home - so rarely has a game made me care about characters I never actually meet in person; Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons - I don't want to spoil it, but the finale sees the control scheme itself turn from a kinda cool gimmick into a really emotive storytelling technique; Analogue: A Hate Story - the other time a game has made me care about characters I never actually meet; Thomas Was Alone - making me care about characters who are, well, geometry, plus whom I never really meet, since the whole game is narrated rather than mimetic; Persona 4 - which I think gets pubescent confusion more than any other teen drama I've ever seen, much less any game; The Longest Journey/Dreamfall, that kind of thing. Before you ask, yes, Life is Strange is on my wishlist. In the Google tradition of using site names as verbs, go ahead and Darkadia me.

Me, smugly: "I don't watch TV."
Everyone else: "But you watch Netflix. How is that different?"
Me: "...fuck."
I am currently catching up with Once Upon a Time and loving it. I saw a couple of out-of-sequence episodes, but it's so much better in order. On Crunchyroll I just got done watching Shin Sekai Yori and thought it was mostly a work of sheer beauty and am currently watching Uchū Kyodai. I like Doctor Who, Fringe, Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes and various other things with a good balance of sci-fi, mystery, drama and being funny, so obviously Joss Whedon's stuff. I am quite liable to throw around quotes from Spaced.

As food goes, I used to be a vegetarian but I no longer am. Sorry. If it's an egg dish, I like it. Unless it's a mushroom omelette. Mushrooms do not belong in my mouth.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
An internet connection. This used to be because I was really interested in it as a phenomenon, but now I think that in a few years, this answer will be as obvious as 'air' or 'water' that 'people' put in this list when they're 'trying' to be 'funny'.

Videogames are very important to me. If you think they're a waste of time, you're a waste of time and so's your mum.

A city. I might currently live out in the middle of nowhere, but I'd go crazy if I couldn't get to a city at least once a fortnight. Planning to move to civilisation soon, so that'll be much better.

Some kind of project to give me a sense of achievement, whether it's learning a new language, writing some music, or creating a game.

A companion to join me on my time-hopping adventures. Or just friends and family in general.

I can't decide between coffee and green tea, so they'll hold a joint spot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to quantify the essentially unquantifiable. Doing science to subjective responses.

Who came up with the order of the alphabet and why they chose that order. And, more to the point, why we treat this ordering as some immutable law of nature when it's really just something some ancient dude made up.

Evo-psych. Leaving aside the misapprehension a lot of its proponents seem to have that humans evolved as pack animals (and further leaving aside that the pack dynamics they ascribe to pack animals have only been observed in captivity, which is not what said animals evolved for), evolution is descriptive, not prescriptive - an 'is', not an 'ought' - so how can you even use it to justify shitty behaviour?

Whether or not I really would go back and kill Hitler if I had a time machine. I think I probably wouldn't: if those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, then time-travellers who change history doom everyone else.

Extra Stuff...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing imagination games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I secretly have a crush on you - yes, you - but I'm too shy to admit it. You should totally break all this tension and send me a message.

On a more serious note, I'm the dude who sucks, plus I got depression.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can guess my weight. You might just win me! Limited time offer.